З життя
25 років тому чоловік поїхав за кордон… Стрес і тривога призвели до раку
25 років тому чоловік поїхав за кордон… Від стресу і тривог я захворіла на рак
Добрий день. Довго вагалася, чи варто писати свою історію, але, можливо, комусь вона стане в нагоді… Хтось побачить себе, а хтось уникне помилок, які вчинила я.
Я хочу залишитися анонімною, але мені потрібна порада. Просто погляд з боку.
Я вийшла заміж по любові…
Я була молодою, коли покохала його. Мені було всього 18 років, йому — 22. Це була велика, чиста любов, в якій не було сумнівів. Ми думали, що подолаємо будь-які труднощі, що нам нічого не страшно, якщо ми разом.
Через рік після весілля у нас народився син. Тоді я була щаслива… але, як виявилося, ненадовго. Почалися важкі часи. Грошей не вистачало, моя декретна виплата була мізерною, а його зарплати ледве вистачало, щоб оплачувати рахунки. Ми жили скромно, як і багато сімей, але мій чоловік вирішив, що цього недостатньо.
— Я поїду за кордон. Там платять більше, ми зможемо жити краще, — сказав він одного разу.
Я благала його не їхати. Говорила, що впораємося. Що багатьом складно, але вони залишаються разом, підтримують одне одного. Він не слухав.
Так я залишилася одна з дитиною.
Рік минав за роком.
Я сподівалася, що він повернеться, але він не хотів. Казав, що за кордоном заробить більше. Що ще трохи — і все буде добре.
Я прохала, благала його залишитися. Тут вже була робота, я теж заробляла. Батьки допомагали з дитиною. Ми могли б жити, як всі… Але він не хотів повертатися.
Ми залишилися з однією дитиною. Я хотіла другу, мріяла про велику сім’ю, але він сказав:
— Грошей немає. Одного прогодувати б.
Але навіть з одним він не хотів бути поруч. Приїжджав на тиждень-два і знову їхав.
Я сама виховувала сина, ходила на батьківські збори, сиділа з ним ночами, коли він хворів. Ніколи не казала чоловікові, що дитина хвора, не хотіла тривожити його… а він і не запитував.
Він все одно не повернувся…
Якби він заробляв величезні гроші, якби ми жили в розкошах, я б могла сказати: «Це того варте». Але ні. Грошей вистачало лише на те, щоб нормально існувати.
Все одно були кредити — то на дах, то на машину, то на нову пральну машину. Все, як у всіх.
Я не раз намагалася пояснити йому, що гроші — це не головне, що синові потрібен батько, що я втомилася… але він не чув.
Він жив там. А ми — тут.
Роки йшли.
Минуло 25 років.
Він повернувся.
Але не з накопиченими грішми, а з боргами.
Я закрила частину його боргів, продавши бабусин будинок. Він дякував мені, казав, що любить, що ми нарешті будемо разом.
Але якою ціною?
Занадто пізно…
Здавалося б, ось він — довгоочікуваний мир. Чоловік вдома, нікуди не їде, не п’є, не гуляє… Здавалося б, я повинна радіти.
Але я раптом зрозуміла, що в цьому домі мені нема чим дихати.
Щоб підтримувати спокій, мені довелося відмовитися від себе.
Я перестала зустрічатися з друзями — він їх не любив. Казав, що в нього немає друзів, а значить, і мені вони не потрібні. Він не забороняв, але так дивився, що бажання кудись іти зникало.
Я перестала носити гарні речі. Він не любив яскравий одяг, макіяж, підбори. Казав, що це не пасує жінці в нашому віці.
Я більше не сміялась, не розповідала смішні історії, не мріяла.
Я жила. Працювала. Прибирала. Готувала. Спала.
Один-два рази на рік ми їздили відпочивати. Звичайно, вдвох. Без друзів, без компаній. Тому що він нікого не любив.
І я все терпіла. Все.
Але організм не витримав…
Усе це життя — нескінченна рутина, напруга, самотність — зламали мене.
Я захворіла.
Діагноз був страшний. Онкологія.
Мій світ завалився за один день.
Я не знаю, скільки мені залишилося.
Але я знаю одне: якби можна було повернути час назад, я б не жила так.
Я б ніколи не дозволила собі бути тінню.
Я б не дозволила чоловікові керувати моїм життям.
Я б не відмовилася від себе заради ілюзії сім’ї.
Тепер вже пізно.
Мій син виріс, у нього своє життя. Батьки старі, я дбаю про них, як можу.
А чоловік… Він каже, що любить мене. Що буде поруч.
Але мене це більше не гріє.
Я прожила життя не так, як хотіла.
Я була вірною дружиною. Терплячою. М’якою. Я чекала на нього. Любила.
А він… Він просто жив так, як хотів.
Якби я могла повернутися в минуле…
Я б обрала себе.
Але тепер я можу сказати лише одне: не живіть так, як жила я.
Не ставте себе на останнє місце.
Не втрачайте себе заради стосунків, які не роблять вас щасливими.
Життя занадто коротке, щоб чекати.
His Wife Packed Her Bags and Vanished Without a Trace — When Manipulation Backfires and Family Ties Are Tested
His wife packed her things and disappeared without a trace. “Stop acting like a saint. Itll all work out. Women...
Grandson Doesn’t Matter: When a Mother-in-Law Favors One Grandchild and Ignores the Other, a Father’s Loyalty is Tested
Mum thinks that Sophie cant cope, my husband finally muttered. She says she needs more help because she hasnt got...
Came Home Early: A Heavily Pregnant Wife Surprises Her Husband, but Instead of a Warm Welcome, She’s Sent Shopping for Beef and Left Waiting on the Street While He Cleans the Flat
Returned Home Early Tuesday, 7th March Are you at the bus stop? Toms voice shot up sharply on the phone....
The Carer for the Wife — What do you mean? — Lida thought she must have misheard. — Where am I supposed to go? Why? What for? — Oh, can we just skip the dramatics, please? — he grimaced. — What’s not clear here? There’s no one left for you to take care of. Where you go is none of my concern. — Ed, what’s wrong with you? Weren’t we planning to get married…? — That was your idea. I never said any such thing. At 32, Lida decided to turn her life around and leave her small hometown. What was left for her there? Endure her mother’s nagging? Her mother simply couldn’t stop scolding Lida about the divorce, constantly asking how she managed to “lose” her husband. Yet Vas’ka wasn’t worth a kind word—drunk and a womaniser! How did she end up marrying him all those eight years ago? Lida wasn’t at all upset about the divorce—in fact, she felt she could finally breathe again. But she argued constantly with her mum about it, and they also fought about money, which was always in short supply. So, she’d head off to the county town and land a great job there! Look at Svetka—her old school friend—she’d been married for five years to a widower. Who cares if he’s 16 years older and hardly a heartthrob, at least he has a flat and a decent income. And Lida reckoned she was just as good as Svetka! — Well, thank heavens! You’ve come to your senses! — Svetka encouraged her. — Pack your things, you can stay with us for a bit, and we’ll sort out the job situation. — Won’t your Vadim Petrovich mind? — Lida was unsure. — Don’t be silly! He does whatever I ask! Don’t worry, we’ll get by! Still, Lida didn’t want to stay long at her friend’s place. After just a couple of weeks and her first wages, she rented her own room. And just a couple of months later, she had a stroke of luck. — Why is a woman like you working in the market? — said one of her regulars, Edward Boris, with concern. Lida knew all her regulars by name by now. — It’s cold, it’s hard work—not ideal. — Gotta earn money somehow, — she shrugged, — unless you have another offer? Edward Boris wasn’t exactly a dreamboat in her eyes—twenty years older, a bit pudgy, starting to bald, and with a shrewd look in his eye. He was always particular about choosing his vegetables and paid to the penny. But he dressed well and drove a nice car—definitely not a down-and-out, not a drunk. He also had a wedding ring, so she never considered him as husband material. — You strike me as responsible, steady, and clean, — Edward Boris switched to a familiar tone, — have you ever cared for anyone who was ill? — I used to look after a neighbour, actually. She had a stroke, her children live far away, so they paid me to help. — That’s great! — he exclaimed, and then put on a somber face: — My wife, Tamara, has had a stroke too. The doctors say she has little chance of recovery. I’ve brought her home, but I haven’t got time to look after her. Will you help? I’ll pay you properly. Lida didn’t have to think long—much better to be in a warm flat changing bedpans than freezing on the market for ten hours a day serving picky customers! He even suggested she live there, so no more rent. — They’ve got three spare rooms! You could play football in there! — she delightedly told her friend. — No children either. Tamara’s mother was a real madam—even at 68, she acted half her age. She’d just remarried and was busy with her husband. No one else to care for the invalid. — Is she really that sick? — Oh yes, poor thing can’t move or speak. She won’t get better. — You almost sound happy about it, — Svetka eyed her. — Of course not, — Lida looked down, — but once Tamara’s gone, Edward Boris would be free… — Are you for real, Lida? Wishing someone dead for a flat?! — I’m not wishing anyone dead—I’m just not going to miss my chance! Easy for you to say, you’ve got it made! They had a huge fight and didn’t speak for half a year—until Lida confessed to Svetka her romance with Edward Boris. They couldn’t live without each other, but of course, he’d never leave his wife—not that type! So for now, she’d remain his lover. — So you’re shacking up with him while his wife is dying in the next room? — her friend was appalled. — Do you even see how vile that is? Or are you that blinded by his money—if he’s even got it? — Trust you to never say a kind word, — Lida retorted. They stopped talking again, but she barely felt guilty—well, perhaps just a bit. She cared for Tamara with real diligence, and since her affair with Edward Boris began, she took on all the housework too. After all, a man needs more than just a woman in his bed—he wants a good meal, crisp shirts, a clean flat. Lida thought her lover was very content, and she was enjoying her life too. She barely noticed Edward had stopped paying her for caring for his wife. Not that it mattered now—they were almost like husband and wife! He gave her money for shopping, and she managed the budget, not realising it was tight. And his job paid well enough—but never mind, once they got married it would all become clear. With time, the spark between them dulled, and Edward lingered less at home, but Lida put it down to the strain of having a sick wife. She pitied him, even though he barely spent a minute a day checking on Tamara. Even so, Lida wept when Tamara finally passed away. She’d given a year and a half of her life to that woman—you can’t get that time back. She organised the funeral too—Edward was “too grief-stricken.” He gave her the bare minimum for expenses, but she did everything properly. No one could accuse her of a thing. Even the neighbours, gossiping about her and Edward—nothing escapes them!—nodded approvingly at the funeral. His mother-in-law too seemed satisfied. So Lida never expected what Edward said next. — You understand there’s no need for your services anymore, so I’m giving you a week to move out, — he said on the tenth day after the funeral. — What do you mean? — Lida’s voice faltered. — Where should I go? Why? — Please, do we have to have this scene? — he sighed. — There’s no one left for you to care for, and where you go is none of my business. — Ed, what’s wrong with you? We were supposed to get married… — That’s your fantasy. I never said anything of the sort. Next morning, after a sleepless night, Lida tried to talk again, but he just repeated the same words and urged her to move quickly. — My fiancée wants to renovate before the wedding, — was all he said. — Fiancée? Who’s that? — None of your business. — Oh, none of my business?! Well, I’ll move out, but you’ll pay me for my work first. You were meant to pay forty grand a month. I only got paid twice. So you owe me £8,000. — You can do the sums, can’t you! — he snorted. — Don’t get carried away… — And you owe for cleaning too! I won’t nit-pick, just pay me ten grand and we’ll call it even. — Or what? You’ll go to court? There’s no contract. — I’ll tell Tamila—remember, your mother-in-law owns this flat. Edward’s face changed, but he recovered quickly. — Who’d believe you? — he huffed. — You know what? I don’t want to see you. Get out now. — You’ve got three days, darling. No ten grand, and there’ll be a scandal, — Lida replied, heading for a cheap hostel. She’d managed to save some of the housekeeping money. On the fourth day, having had no answer, Lida went back to the flat. Tamila, the mother-in-law, was there. Lida could see from Edward’s face she’d never get paid. So she told Tamila everything. — She’s making it all up! Don’t listen! — the widower protested. — Well, well, I’d heard rumours at the funeral, but I didn’t believe them — Tamila’s stare was fierce. — Now it all makes sense. And you, my dear son-in-law, don’t forget who owns this flat? Edward froze. — So, I want you out of here within the week. No—within three days. Tamila turned to leave, then paused at Lida. — And you, standing there like you expect a prize? Get out! Lida bolted from the flat, realising there’d be no money for her—not now. Back to the market again; there’d always be work there… **The Carer’s Devotion: Betrayal Behind Closed Doors in Suburban England**
A Carer for My Wife What do you mean? Linda could hardly believe what she was hearing. Where am I...
We Refused to Let Our Daughter in: A Family’s Tense Night of Tough Love, Despair, and Final Chances
Why didnt you let her back in? Kate finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It was the question...
Don’t Bother Unpacking – You’re Moving Out Tonight: Leona Was Sprawled on the Sofa When Irina Walked In, Only for Her Husband to Announce Their Divorce After a Fateful New Year’s Eve Discovery Involving a Dodgy “Bunny” Costume, Some Holiday Deceptions, and the Truth Unraveling Faster Than Tinsel on a Christmas Tree
Dont bother unpacking your suitcase youre moving out So, whats going on? demanded Emma, her voice leaving no room for...
The Summerhouse Standoff: A Daughter Takes Back What’s Hers
The Summer House Issue Daughter Gets Her Due Lucy, you have to understand, its a dire situation, Geoffrey Taylor pinched...
Even the Good Ones Get Left Behind
A fine woman can be left behind too In the looking glass, Alice saw herselfa lovely woman of thirty-five with...