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Моя свекруха виховала ідеального сина, але не чоловіка.

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Вибачте, але я попри всі старання не можу називати свою свекруху мамою. Коли я виходила заміж, мріяла саме про це, була настільки щаслива, коли Олексій зробив мені пропозицію, але тоді зовсім інакше уявляла собі наше подружнє життя. Я дуже хотіла вийти заміж, кохати і бути коханою. З заздрістю дивилася на щасливі шлюби своїх подруг, слухала їхні історії про те, як добре їм живеться в стосунках, наповнених любов’ю і взаємною турботою.

Мріяла про родину, в якій чоловік буде лицарем, моїм надійним плечем і захистом, а наші діти зростатимуть в щасливому домі, оточені любов’ю. Я дуже хотіла бути ніжною, люблячою дружиною і дати своєму чоловікові все, що в моїх силах.

Коли я вперше побачила, як він ставиться до своєї мами, подумала, що вона виховала його саме таким, яким я мріяла. Під час розмови перед весіллям, мама мого чоловіка сказала слова, які назавжди залишаться в моїй пам’яті: “Моя дорога, в житті мого сина завжди буде лише одна жінка. Пам’ятай, ніхто не буде важливіший за мене”. Спочатку я не зрозуміла весь сенс цих слів, але з часом, на жаль, усвідомила, що вона мала на увазі.

На початку нашого шлюбу мене не турбувало те, як Олексій піклується про матір. Я захоплювалася цим, адже він був добре вихований і мав сильний зв’язок із нею. Але з часом мене почало турбувати те, що він ніколи не відмовляв їй. Виконував її найнезвичайніші прохання, виходив з дому о п’ятій ранку, бо мама попросила свіжого пирога, або бігав по місту в пошуках дешевших аналогів ліків, щоб вона не витратила зайві гривні. Якщо вона дзвонила про скрип дверей, він одразу йшов це лагодити, навіть не кажучи мені слова. В нашому домі двері теж потребували ремонту, але це його не цікавило. Я була для нього невидимою.

Одного разу, коли Олексій приїхав за мною після роботи, вона почала звинувачувати мене у тому, що я бездушна і ледача. Я використовую його, замість того, щоб дати йому відпочити. Звісно, я могла би поїхати додому потягом чи автобусом, але не бачила в моїх діях нічого поганого. Олексій — мій чоловік, і я маю бути найважливішою жінкою в його житті.

Наступного дня я хотіла поговорити з ним про цю ситуацію, але він не бачив жодної проблеми. Після нашої розмови зателефонувала його мама і хотіла поїхати на дачу, Олексій лише сказав, що це матір, і він не може їй відмовити.

Олексій — чудовий син, але ніколи не повинен був стати чоловіком для жодної жінки, адже ніхто не витримав би такого ставлення. Мама Олексія не соромилась дзвонити посеред ночі, ділячись своїм поганим самопочуттям і безсонням. Їй було байдуже, що нам потрібно виспатися, щоб вранці піти на роботу. Що в цій ситуації зробив мій чоловік? Викликав таксі, бо ввечері випив кілька келихів вина, і поїхав перевірить, чому мама не може заснути. Замість подяки, вона накричала на нього, щоб він не дозволяв собі вечірніх п’янок, коли вона може потребувати допомоги.

Звісно, він міг утриматися від всього, не тільки від алкоголю, але хіба мій чоловік не має права на нормальне життя тільки тому, що є сином такої вимогливої та ревнивої жінки? Моя свекруха руйнує наш шлюб, вважаючи, що її син досі є її власністю, а я лише дружина, хоча маю бути для нього номером один.

Слава Богу, у нас немає дітей. Бо вони б відразу зрозуміли, що не можуть розраховувати на тата, адже бабуся завжди матиме першочергове значення. Після років принижень і відчуття себе другої, я впала в депресію. Проте навіть у такому стані не могла розраховувати на підтримку чи турботу зі сторони чоловіка. Найбільше розуміння і співчуття я отримала від своєї подруги, яка зрозуміла, наскільки підступна ця хвороба. У той час я дуже сподівалася на кілька слів підтримки, співчуття і розуміння від свого коханого, але замість цього він знову поринув у роботу в маминому саду.

Так, я визнаю свою поразку, не змогла стати для нього тим, ким була його мама, хоча дуже старалася. На жаль, всі зусилля залишилися непоміченими Олексієм. Він дійсно закоханий в одну жінку — свою матір. Ті слова любові, які він промовляв мені, були просто формальністю, умовою між нареченою та нареченим.

Я ніколи не прагнула ідеалу, адже ідеали не існують, я мріяла про щирі почуття. Хороший чоловік не мусить, як Олексій, складати одяг у шафі за лінійкою, в ідеальні колірні комбінації. Він може йти з друзями на пиво і повертатися опівночі, але не мій чоловік, він виховувався як ідеальний син.

Я дуже рада, що нарешті зрозуміла, що мій чоловік ніколи не стане тією людиною, про яку я мріяла. У нас немає дітей, адже він боявся, що обов’язки вдома його поглинуть, і у нього не вистачить часу для мами.

Олексій дбав про маму, як ні про кого в світі, я прийняла той факт, що ніколи не виграю. Я вирішила мати чоловіка, якого буду любити всім серцем і для якого я теж буду найважливішою. Я завагітніла і чекаю на свого маленького принца, для якого буду всім, хто буде мене любити і потребувати.

Я дала собі обіцянку, що виховаю свого сина справжнім, відповідальним чоловіком, який одного дня створить свою родину і зробить щасливою свою дружину.

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