З життя
Ти зовсім не вмієш господарювати! Як твій чоловік це терпить?” – дорікала мені мати
“Ти зовсім не вмієш господарювати! Як твій чоловік тебе терпить?” – докоряла мені мати.
Коли моя мати, Ярослава Іванівна, вирішила зробити капітальний ремонт у своїй хрущовці, вона попросилась пожити в нас з чоловіком на місяць. Обіцяла не лізти у наш побут і не нав’язувати свої правила. Я, хоч і вагалась, але погодилась — адже це ж моя рідна людина.
Ярослава Іванівна завжди була строгою та педантичною. З дитинства вона звикла контролювати кожен наш крок з братом. У її очах усе мало лежати на своїх місцях, і тільки так, як вона вважала за потрібне. Спорити з нею було марно, а іноді й страшно.
Коли я вийшла заміж і переїхала до чоловіка, нарешті відчула свободу. У своєму домі я могла робити все на свій лад, господарювати, як мені зручно. Та з приїздом матері наш заведений порядок почав руйнуватися.
Перші дні все було спокійно. Мама дотримувала обіцянки й не втручалася. Але на четвертий день, повернувшись з роботи, я помітила, що на кухні щось не так. Усі речі були переставлені, посуд і продукти акуратно розкладені за розміром і кольором.
— Мамо, що це ти наробила? — запитала я, намагаючись стримати роздратування.
— Навела лад, — відповіла вона з гордістю. — У тебе все лежало не на своїх місцях. Тепер усе як треба.
— Але це мій дім, і мені було зручно так, як було!
— Ти просто не вмієш господарювати. Я тебе навчу.
Я спробувала пояснити, що в нашому домі ми з чоловіком самі вирішуємо, як має бути влаштовано. Але мама лише махнула рукою, надалі наполягаючи на своєму.
Наступного дня я виявила, що вона викинула мій улюблений килимок у ванній, заявивши, що він “погано виглядає”. Потім вона дісталася до документів чоловіка, пересортувавши їх на свій розсуд. Моє терпіння вже тануло, але я мовчала, щоб зберегти мир у родині.
Кульмінація настала, коли ми з чоловіком повернулися додому й застали матір за розбором нашої шафи у спальні. Її навіть не збентежило, що випрасовані сорочки чоловіка валялися на підлозі.
— Мамо, що ти робиш?! — скрикнула я.
— Наводжу лад у твоїй шафі. Ти ж не вмієш нормально складати речі. З тебе господиня аніяка. Не розумію, як твій чоловік тебе виносить, — відповіла вона, продовжуючи копирсатися в нашому одязі.
Чоловік, зазвичай стриманий, не витримав:
— Ярославо Іванівно, збирайте свої речі. Я відвезу вас до готелю. Світлано, подзвони та замови номер для матері.
Мати мовчки зібрала речі й пішла. Пізніше вона надіслала повідомлення з вимогою вибачитися. Але я розуміла — не можу просити пробачення за те, що захищала свій дім і свою родину.
Цей місяць став для мене випробуванням. Я усвідомила, що межі у стосунках з батьками важливі, особливо коли йдеться про власну оселю та сім’ю. Любов і повага мають бути взаємними, і ніхто не має права порушувати заведений у домі порядок.
Why Does It Matter Who Looked After Gran? By Law, That Flat Should Be Mine! — My Mum Argues With Me Over My Grandmother’s Home My Own Mother is Threatening to Sue Me — All Because My Gran’s Flat Went Not to Her, or Even to Me, But to My Daughter. Mum Claims It’s Unfair, Insists the Flat Should Be Hers. But Gran Made a Different Choice. Why? Perhaps Because My Husband and I Lived With Her and Cared for Her Those Last Five Years. You Could Easily Call My Mum Selfish — Her Needs Were Always Far More Important Than Anyone Else’s. Mum’s Been Married Three Times, But Only Had Two Daughters: My Younger Sister and Me. We Get On Brilliantly, But Neither of Us Has a Great Relationship With Mum. I Don’t Even Remember My Dad — He Split From Mum When I Was Two. Up Until I Was Six, I Lived With Mum at Gran’s. For Some Reason, I Thought Gran Was Awful — Probably Because Mum Was Always Crying. Only When I Grew Up Did I Understand: Gran Was Good, She Just Wanted to Help Her Daughter Make a Better Life. Later, Mum Married Again and We All Moved In With My Stepfather. That’s When My Sister Was Born. But After Seven Years, Mum Got Divorced Again. This Time, We Didn’t Go Back to Gran’s. Stepfather Went Off to Work and Let Us Stay in His Flat for a Bit. Three Years Later, Mum Married Husband Number Three and We Moved In With Him. He Wasn’t Pleased Mum Had Children, Though He Never Hurt Us — He Just Ignored Us. So Did Mum. She Was Obsessed With Her New Husband, Always Jealous, Always Causing Rows and Breaking Crockery. Once a Month Mum Would Start Packing, But Stepfather Always Talked Her Round. My Sister and I Got Used to It and Stopped Noticing. I Ended Up Looking After My Sister — Mum Didn’t Have the Time. Thank Goodness for Our Grandmothers, Who Helped Us So Much. Eventually, I Left for University, and My Sister Moved In With Gran. Our Dad Always Supported Her; Mum Would Call Us Only at Christmas. I Accepted Mum For Who She Was and Stopped Expecting Her to Care, But My Sister Never Did. She Was Always Hurt, Especially When Mum Skipped Her School Leavers’ Party. We Grew Up. My Sister Got Married and Moved Away. I Was Living With My Long-Term Boyfriend; We Visited Gran Often and Stayed Close, Though I Tried Not to Be a Nuisance. When Gran Fell Ill and Went Into Hospital, I Visited Every Day: Shopping, Cooking, Cleaning, Chatting, Making Sure She Took Her Medicine. Sometimes My Boyfriend Helped Out Too. After Six Months, Gran Suggested We Move In to Save for Our Own Place, So We Did. Six Months Later, I Was Pregnant. We Got Married, Had a Simple Family Do — Mum Didn’t Come, Not Even a Phone Call. When My Daughter Was Two Months Old, Gran Broke Her Leg. Caring for Both Was Hard and I Desperately Needed Mum’s Help, But She Refused, Saying She Wasn’t Well and Would Come Later. She Never Did. Six Months On, Gran Had a Stroke and Was Bedridden. If Not for My Husband, I Don’t Know How I’d Have Coped. Gran Slowly Improved, She Even Got to See Her Great-Granddaughter Take Her First Steps, and Lived Another Two-and-a-Half Years. She Passed Away Peacefully in Her Sleep. My Husband and I Were Devastated By Her Loss. Mum Only Came for the Funeral. A Month Later, She Tried to Evict Me So She Could Have the Flat. Mum Hadn’t Realised Gran Had Left It to My Daughter Right After She Was Born. Naturally Mum Was Furious, Demanding I Give Up the Flat or She’d Sue Me. “Look How Deceitful You Are! You Duped the Old Woman, Took Her Flat, And Now You Live In It Yourself! You Won’t Get Away With This! It Doesn’t Matter Who Looked After Gran — That Flat Should Be Mine!” But Mum Won’t Get That Flat, I Know That for Certain. I’ve Spoken to a Solicitor and a Notary. We’ll Stay in the Home Gran Gave Us, and If Our Second Child Is a Girl, She’ll Be Named After Gran.
What matter is it who cared for Grandmother? By rights, the house ought to be mine! My mothers voice, strident...
Relatives Demanded My Bedroom for the Holidays and Left Empty-Handed: How I Refused Pushy Family, Set Boundaries, and Saved My Peace of Mind in London
Where on earth am I supposed to put this massive bowl of jellied beef? Theres no space at all in...
How My Husband Secretly Supported His Mother While I Had Nothing to Dress Our Child In
10 March Lately, Ive been feeling as though the weight of the world rests on my shoulders. Laura and I...
Mother-in-Law Sneakily Stuffed Her Bag with Gourmet Treats from My Fridge Before Leaving
Mother-in-law slipped the delicacies from my fridge into her bag before heading out It must have happened nearly twenty years...
My Father’s Partner Became My Second Mum: How Auntie Mary Took Me In, Raised Me as Her Own, and Gave Me and Her Son a True Family After Tragedy
My fathers wife became my second mother When I was just eight years old, my mother passed away. My father...
My Husband Compared Me to His Friend’s Wife at Dinner—So I Served Him a Salad Straight to His Lap
My husband compared me to his friends wife at the dinner table and ended up with a bowl of salad...
My Husband Compared Me to His Friend’s Wife at Dinner—So I Served Him a Salad Straight to His Lap
My husband compared me to his friends wife at the dinner table and ended up with a bowl of salad...
More Than Just a Nanny
Not Just a Nanny Alice sat at a desk in the university library, surrounded by a fortress of textbooks and...