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«Залишила дитину біля нашої двері… Я одразу зрозуміла — це доля»

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Життя інколи приносить моменти, коли навколо всієї землі ніби завмирає. Одна мить — і все змінюється назавжди. Моя історія — саме така. Неможливо забути той ранок, коли біля дверей нашого будинку у Львові почалася нова сторінка мого життя. Глава під назвою «мама».

З чоловіком ми разом уже вісім років. За ці роки було все: надія, розчарування, сльози, спроби… Ми мріяли про дитину з самого весілля. Але ні природна вагітність, ні дорогі процедури ЕКЗ не принесли результату. Раз за разом я проходила через біль, гормональні уколи, порожні тести й німе відчаї. Тіма не хотіла прийняти нове життя, а душа не могла з цим змиритися.

Після чергової невдачі ми вирішили усиновити. Зібрали документи, пройшли комісії, отримали дозвіл. Залишилося лише чекати. Чекати, коли зателефонують і скажуть: «Приходьте, є дитина». Але й це виявилося не так просто. Я хотіла немовля. Не трирічну дитину, не школяра, а саме новонародженого — щоб пройти шлях від першого крику до перших кроків. А на таких — довга черга. Я залучила усі можливі зв’язки, але марно. Дні минали, а телефон мовчав. І я мовчала. Лише кожного ранку зустрічала з надією, що, можливо, сьогодні…

Наші друзі, сусіди, навіть колеги знали, що ми з чоловіком мріємо стати батьками. Не приховували своїх спроб і болю. Всі знали, як ми цього чекали.

А потім — той самий ранок. Ранній дзвінок у двері. Я ледь прокинулася, накинула халат, подумала — може, сусід щось забув або кур’єр. Відкриваю… і завмерла. На килимку біля порога стояла велика спортивна сумка. Всередині — крихітна, майже прозора дитина, загорнута в стару ковдру. Жива, тепла, і немов моя.

Я в паніці занесла її додому, руки тремтіли, серце калатало. Це була дівчинка. Зовсім маленька, з ще незагоєним пупком. Її щойно народили. Чоловік викликав поліцейських. А я встигла її переодягти, зігріти, пригорнути. Моє серце било тривогу й щастя одно.

Коли приїхали правоохоронці, оформили протокол і, звісно, забрали діточку. А я — плакала. Благала залишити. Говорила, що ми з чоловіком давно хочемо дитину, що готові одразу взяти відповідальність. Але закон є закон.

Наступного дня я подала документи на усиновлення. Один із офіцерів сказав:
— Почекайте трохи. Може, з’явиться мати. Таке буває.

І в цьому «може» я вчепилася за думку. Хто міг знати? Хто знав, що ми чекаємо дитину? Хто міг так вчинити?

І тоді я згадала… У сусідньому під’їзді жила тиха, скромна дівчина, Оля. Приїхала з села, навчалася в коледжі. Давно її не бачила. І раптом мене осяяла думка. Я пішла до неї. Коли вона відчинила двері й побачила мене — одразу розплакалася. Ніби чекала саме на цю мить.
— Це моя дитина, — сказала вона, не чекаючи на запитання. — Я знала, що ви хочете донечку. Я не справлюся, у мене нікого немає. Не могла повернутися додому з ганьбою. А у вас вона буде щасливою…

Я тоді сіла поруч, обійняла її. Сказала, що ніхто не осуджує. Що я допоможу. Що можна оформити відмову по канЩе й досі пам’ятаю, як вона схопила мене за руку і прошепотіла: «Дякую, що врятували нас обох».

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