З життя
«Пішла, бо більше не могла терпіти»: як чоловік раптово привів чужих дітей у наш дім
«Я пішла, бо вже не могла терпіти»: як чоловік за один день поставив мене перед фактом — і привів якихось чужих дітей
Ми з Марком почали зустрічатися, коли його шлюб уже давно розпався. Він був вільний, розлучений, спокійно жив сам і виглядав врівноваженим, стриманим, розсудливим. Тоді мені здавалося, що це саме та людина, з якою можна побудувати щось справжнє. Він ніколи не згадував свою колишню. Ані поганого слова, ані натяку — ніби тої глави його життя взагалі не існувало.
Я не наполягала. Не хотіла лізти в минуле, адже у нас і так усе було добре. Ми зійшлися дуже швидко — з першої зустрічі зрозуміли, що дивимося на багато речей однаково. Переїхали разом майже відразу. Жили мирно, без бур і істерик. Єдине, що я знала напевно — у Марка були двою дітей від попереднього шлюбу. Він навідував їх, купував подарунки, іногда затримувався у них до вечора. Я в їхнє життя не втручалася. Його колишня мене люто ненавиділа, тому мене біля дітей не було.
Через чотири роки ми з Марком розписалися. І того ж дня я дізналася, що вагітна. Це був щасливий момент — Марко світився від радості, обнімав, метушився, турбувався, вночі бігав по суницю та морозиво. Я відчувала себе коханою. Усе було справжнє. До одного вечора.
Він повернувся з візиту до дітей і різко сказав: «Соломіє, мої діти будуть жити з нами. Таня (його колишня) поїхала за кордон зі своїм новим чоловіком. Коли повернеться — невідомо. Дітей вона залишила на мене». Я мовчала. Не кричала, не скандалила. Просто слухала, як у моїй голові руйнується щойно збудований будинок із мрій. Він навіть не запитав, не пояснив — просто поставив перед фактом.
За тиждень діти вже були в нас. Я намагалася впоратися. Готувала, прибирала, пробувала знайти спільну мову. Але діти мене не приймали. Вони ігнорували мої прохання, відмовлялися їсти мої страви, розкидали речі по хаті, сміялися мені в обличчя і називали чужою. Одного разу старший кинув у мене тарілкою з варениками. Я плакала у ванній, обіймаючи себе за живіт.
Марко казав: «Соломіє, ну потерпи… це ж діти». А я дивилася на нього і думала — а я хто? Я вагітна. Я жінка, яка погодилася бути твоєю дружиною. Але я не давала обіцянки стати мачухою проти своєї волі.
Через місяць я не витримала. Зібрала речі і поїхала до матері. Там я вперше за довгий час могла виспатися. Спокійно поїсти. Подихати. Чоловік приїхав за тиждень, сердився, ображався, казав, що я зрадниця. Я просто зачинила двері. Пішла.
Я подала на розлучення. І не пошкодувала.
Митнуло п’ять років. У мене чудова донька, заради якої я живу. У мене новий чоловік, якого вона називає татом. Ми — родина. А Марко… він залишився з тими самими дітьми. Їхня мати так і не повернулася. Я не жалкую про своє рішення. Тоді я вибрала себе. Вибрала дитину під серцем. Вибрала життя без болю і почуття провини. І кожного разу, коли я дивлюся на свою доньку — я знаю, що зробила правильно.
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