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Мрія про зраду

– Ніколи не думала, що в 52 роки стану посміховиськом, і все через власну доньку, – гірко зітхає Соломія своїй подрузі. – Всю життя працюю до сьомого поту, відкладаю кожну копійку, берусь за будь-яку підробіток, аби тільки в Мар’янки усе було. А тепер вона звинувачує мене у крадіжці! Тепер уся Бережань тільки й балакає про це, а вона ще й знайшла батька, з яким ми не спілкувались із років дитинства, і наклеппала йому.

Соломія благала доньку й колишнього чоловіка припинити цю ганьбу, але марно. Вони повторюють одне: вона вкрала в рідної дитини. Подруга, вислухавши, тільки очі витріщила:
– Соломіє, я нічого не розумію! Як ти могла щось вкрасти? Розкажи з самого початку.

– Ти ж знаєш, як я сама вирощувала Мар’янку. Пам’ятаєш, як чоловік кинув нас із дворічною дитиною заради іншої? Самі розумієте, як тяжко було.

– Авжеж, пам’ятаю. Досі не знаю, як ти вистояла!

Соломія глибоко зітхнула, згадуючи ті чорні дні. Після розлучення вона зрозуміла: не може жити в рідному місті, де кожен кут нагадував про зраду. Продавши батьківську дві кімнати, вона з Мар’янкою переїхала до Бережани. Грошей вистачило лише на скромну хатку в доброму районі. Соломія влаштувала доньку до садочка і взяла дві роботи. Саме тоді вона й познайомилась із цією подругою. Життя було важким: постійні переробки, втома – але нова оселя давала надію.

Соломія працювала як бджола, щоб Мар’янка ні в чому не відчувала браку. Гарний одяг, новий телефон, танці, репетитор з англійської – все, що дівчинка хотіла. Без підтримки рідних Соломія тягла все сама. Вона хотіла, щоб її донька ніколи не відчувала себе гіршою за інших, тому економила на собі: ніяких суконь, ніяких відпочинків.

– Невже ти сама це все оплачувала? – здивувалась подруга. – Я думала, колишній допомагав!

– Він платив аліменти, – зізналась Соломія. – Але я п’ять років не чіпала той рахунок. Не хотіла брати нічого від зрадника. Потім вирішила перевірити, скільки там накопичилось. Сума була значною, але потреби не було – я сама справлялась. Вирішила залишити на майбутнє. І ще почала відкладати з зарплати.

Мар’янка завжди мала все необхідне, тож витрачати аліменти не доводилось. Соломія мріяла про старость: купити хатинку в селі, посадити город, завести курочок. Донька вийде заміж, а вона залишить їй оселю й присилатиме соління. Звісно, більшість грошей на рахунку були аліментами, а не її заощадженнями.

– Яка чудова думка! – схвильовано скрикнула подруга. – Я теж мрію про хатинку! Молодець!

– Не поспішай хвалити, – гірко посміхнулась Соломія. – Як тільки я купила ту хату, була на сьомому небі й поділилась радістю з Мар’янкою. І одразу ж пошкодувала. Вона звинуватила мене в тому, що я вкрала її гроші, і перестала розмовляти.

– Невже через гроші? – остовпіла подруга. – Мар’янка завжди була розумною, доброю дівчиною!

– Вона й залишилась такою, – зітхнула Соломія. – Але раптом вирішила, що я щось вкрала. Ми довго сварились. А потім вона знайшла батька й наскаржила йому. Тепер вони вимагають повернути всі гроші. Колишній називає мене егоїсткою, мовляв, витратила на себе кошти, які він давав на освіту доньки. Але вони не рахують, що я рвала жили на двох роботах, аби в неї все було. Невже я така погана мати?

Соломія замовкла, очі заповнились сльозами. Вона згадувала, як відмовляла собі у всьому, аби Мар’янка не почувалася бідною. Кожен новий телефон, кожна поїздка до моря – все це було оплачено її потом. А тепер донька, яку вона виростила з такою любов’ю, повернулась проти неї. Бережань дзижчала від пліток: «Соломійка вкрала аліменти!» Сусіди шепотілись, а Мар’янка замість того, щоб захистити матір, лише розпалювала сварку, знову зв’язавшись із батьком, який покинув їх роки тому.

Колишній, Ярослав, не соромився у образах. Він дзвонив і кричав у трубку:
– Ти витратила гроші, які я посилав на Мар’янку! Як ти могла? Це її майбутнє!

Соломія намагалась пояснити, що сама забезпечувала доньку, що аліменти лежали, поки вона не вирішила втілити мрію. Але Ярослав не слухав. Мар’янка – теж. Її образа була глибокою, немов мати вкрала щось найдорожче. Соломія відчувала себе зрадженою. Вона віддала доньці все, а тепер її називають егоїсткою.

Одного разу, сидячи в новій хатині, оточена тишею й запахом полину, Соломія задумалась. Може, вона й справді помилилась, не порадившись із донькою? Але чи не довели роки її жертв, що все було заради дитини? Вона написала Мар’янці довгого листа, виливши душу: про втому, про мрію про хатину, про те, як хотіла, щоб донька ніколи не знала бМар’янка повільно підняла очі, і крізь сльози сказала: «Тепер я розумію, мамо».

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