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«Забирайся з моєї квартири негайно!» — я більше не можу терпіти сестру і її дітей

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«Соломіє, виганяйся з моєї хати негайно!» — більше не можу терпіти сестру та її дітей.

У невеликому містечку, де ранковий гомін базару змішується із запахом свіжого хліба, моє життя в сорок років перетворилося на пекло через сестру. Мене звати Ганна, і я живу одна у своїй двокімнатній квартирі, яку з трудом купила після розлучення. Але моя молодша сестра Соломія, її три дурні сини та її безвідповідальність довели мене до межі. Вчора я вигукнула їй з порога: «Виганяйся звідси зараз же!» — і тепер не знаю, чи правильно вчинила, але сил терпіти більше немає.

Соломія — моя рідна, але це не виправдовує хаосу.

Вона молодша за мене на п’ять років. Колись ми були близькі, попри різні характери. Я — організована, працьовита, завжди тягнула все сама. Вона ж — вітрогонка, вічно в пошуках «щастя». У неї троє синів від різних чоловіків: Тарасу дванадцять, Юрку вісім, а Іванку п’ять. Вона живе в орендованій кімнаті, перебивається випадковими заробітками, і я завжди їй допомагала — грішми, продуктами, одягом для дітей. Коли вона попросилася пожити в мене «на пару тижнів», я не змогла відмовити. Це було три місяці тому.

Моя квартира — моя фортеця. Після розлучення я вклала в неї все: ремонт, меблі, затишок. Працюю адміністратором у готелі, і моє життя — це порядок. Але з приїздом Соломії та її дітей мій дім перетворився на ярмарок. Її сини носяться по коридору, кричать, ламають речі, малюють на шпалерах. Вона ж, замість виховувати їх, сидить у телефоні або йде «по справах», залишаючи дітей на мене.

Хаос, який забрав мій спокій.

Від першого дня я зрозуміла — це помилка. Тарас хамить, Юрко розмальовує стіни, Іванко розмазує їжу по столу. Вони не слухаються ні її, ні мене — ніби звикли, що мати тягає їх від одного «ваньки» до іншого, а мій дім для них — просто чергова зупинка. Соломія не прибирає, не готує, не допомагає. «Ганно, ти ж одна, тобі не важко», — каже вона, а я вже не можу дихати від її нахабства.

Моя квартира тепер як прохідна. Брудний посуд у раковині, розкидані іграшки, плями на дивані. Я повертаюся з роботи і замість відпочинку мию підлогу, готую вечерю на п’ятьох, намагаюся заспокоїти дітей. Вона ж або спить, або торохтить із подругами. Коли я прошу прибрати, вона закатує очі: «Ой, Ганно, дай спокій, я й так втомилася». Від чого? Від життя за мій рахунок?

Остання крапля.

Вчора я повернулася додому і не впізнала свою хату. По коридору метушилися її сини, один ледь не збив мене з ніг. На кухні — гора брудного посуду, у вітальні — розлитий компот на килимі. Соломія сиділа на дивані, гортаючи стрічку. Я вибухнула: «Соломіє, виганяйся звідси зараз же!» Вона подивилася на мене, ніби я божевільна: «Ти серйозно? Куди я піду з дітьми?» Я відповіла, що це не моя справа, але всередині тремтіло. Її діти завмерли, дивлячись на нас, і мені їх шкода, але так більше не може.

Я дала їй тиждень знайти житло. Вона розплакалася, почала казати, що я жорстока, що кидаю рідну сестру. Але де була її турбота, коли вона руйнувала мій дім? Де подяка за все, що я для неї зробила? Мої подруги кажуть: «Ганно, ти права, годі бути їх діжкою». А мати, довідавшись про сварку, телефонує й благає: «Не виганяй Соломію, вона ж з дітьми». А я? Хіба я не заслуговую на спокій?

Страх і рішучість.

Я боюся, що вчинила надто жорстоко. Соломія з дітьми дійсно у складній ситуації, і я відчуваю провину, особливо за племінників. Але я не можу жертвувати собою заради її безвідповідальності. Мій дім — це все, що в мене є, і я не хочу, щоб він став притулком для її хаосу. Я запропонувала допомогти з пошуками житла, але вона відмовилася: «Ти просто хочеш позбутися нас». Може, так. І я не бачу в цьому нічого поганого.

Я не знаю, як пройде цей тиждень. Чи пробачить мене мати? Чи зрозуміє Соломія, що сама винна? Чи я залишуся «злою сестрою», що вигнала родину на вулицю? Але я знаю одне: я втомилася бути їх рятівником. У сорок років я хочу жити у своїй хаті, де панує порядок, де я можу вільно дихати, де ніхто не топче мої межі.

Мій крик про свободу.

Ця історія — мій крик про право на своє життя. Соломія, можливо, любить своїх дітей, але її безвідповідальність руйнує мій світ. Її сини, можливо, не винні, але я не можу бути їхньою матір’ю. У сорок років я хочу повернути свій дім, свій спокій, свою гідність. Хай цей крок буде болючим, але я не відступлю. Я — Ганна, і я обираю себе, навіть якщо це розіб’є серце моїй сестрі.

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