You can’t tell thyme from parsley without the grocery labels, and you’ve only seen berries in jam jars!” — Grumbled the offended neighbor

**Diary Entry 15th August**

Bloody neighbours. You wouldnt know thyme from parsley if it werent for the labels at Tesco! she snapped. And Ill bet the only berries youve seen come in a jar of jam!

Valerie and William bought the cottage last autumn, and now weve finally come to sort the place out. The house itself is soundgood enough to winter inbut the gardens another matter. The old orchard needs proper tending. Weve ordered a new sauna; itll be delivered next week, just need to pick a spot for it. Might as well put up a shed beside it for firewood, a washing line, and a summerhouse. The kids promised to visit and lend a hand.

Lovely here, isnt it? William said. Peaceful. We could live here year-round now were retired.

I had a look at the cellar, I told him. Only needs a new door.

And I checked the back veranda. Remember we talked about a summerhouse? Pointless. The verandas got that big round table, those antique chairsjust needs a polish, theyll last another century. And the view over the garden! Perfect for tea. Though the door needs replacing almost like someones been inside when we werent here.

Aye, doors first. Well sort the back garden. Out of sight from the road, but still tidy. Fronts just lawn and flowers.

Plenty coming up alreadyperennials. Just need to figure out whats where. Might have to move a few, but well leave it this summer.

A week later, the sauna arrived, and the kids turned up. Work began in earnest. The neighbourMrs. Higginspopped over, her grandkids already nosing about.

You got grandkids? she asked.

A few. Theyll visit.

Whyre you putting up such a tall fence? Round here, weve always done without.

Without? There was one when we bought the placejust rotten. You mightnt care, but we like things proper. And dont fret, weve not pinched an inch of your land. Its dead on the boundary.

No side gate, then? Theres always been a path through.

Between our gardens? Not anymore. Street access only.

But wherell the kids play? Yours, mine? And youve gone and chopped down the apple treesmy lot loved climbing those!

We pruned them, thats all. Planted new ones, too. Your lot can climb *your* trees.

Everythings new with you. And why the hedge along our fence?

Because it looks nice!

She kept coming back, full of questions. Her grandkids ran wild until we fitted the new gate.

Settling in properly, arent you? she said. Staying through winter?

Well see.

Whys the gate shut? The kids always played football out frontflat, safe. Roads no good with cars about.

My fronts all flowerbeds, not like yours. Youd not know a herb if it bit you. And berries? Only in a pudding. Friendly advice: mind your own.

Gates shut to keep nosy folk out. Including your grandkids. They let our hens loose two days backstill missing half of them.

Youve got chickens? So youre staying, then?

Weve *stayed*.

Come late August, we celebrated Williams birthday. Family all roundkids, grandkids. Men at the grill, women setting the veranda table.

Then: Here we are! Neighbourly visit! Mrs. Higgins announced, her brood already swarming. We always drop in unasked. *Neighbours*, arent we? Kids knew straight offparty smells!

We didnt invite you. Family only.

Oh, thatll come. Kidsll grow up. Might even marry into yours! she chirped.

No matter what we said, she twisted it. Her grandkids shook the fruit trees, scaled the sauna roof (miraculously didnt break necks), then started hurling decorative stones into the inflatable pool. By the time we noticed, the water was gushing out.

Well, its nearly autumn. Pools coming down soon anyway, Mrs. Higgins shrugged.

Time you left.

But weve not eaten! Kids are starved from running about. Cmon, everyonedig in!

Ruined the day. But a week later, the family returned for our anniversarythirty-five years. Someone (bless young Alfie, seven years old) bolted the gate straight off.

We heard knocking. Ignored it. The smell of barbecue hung in the cooling air.

Whenre you back in London? someone asked.

Well see. Autumn first. Then winter. Might stick it out. Apples need pickinggrand crop this year. Love it here aside from *her*. But shes no real bother. Weve learnt how to handle her.

Laughter all round.

After everyone left, just us two remained. Autumn ahead, then winter Well manage. And if not, theres always the flat in town.

As for Mrs. Higgins? Turns out shes off to help her daughtergrandkids back to school, apparently. Lord spare us more neighbours like that, William muttered.

**Lesson learnt:** Good fences make good neighbours. And sometimes, a locked gates worth more than politeness.