Mom, What If Grandma Just Walked Away and Got Lost? Maybe That Would Be Better for Everyone,” Masha Said Defiantly.

**Diary Entry 12th October**

“Mum, maybe we should just let her wander off and get lost. Itd be easier for everyone,” I said defiantly.

“Mum, honestly, how much longer can we go on like this? Are you going to remind me of this for the rest of my life?” My voice was sharp, resentful.

“Not for the rest of your lifejust while shes still with us. If she steps outside, shell get lost and”

“die under some hedge, and well live with the guilt forever. Mum, why dont we just… let her?” I challenged again.

“Let her what?” Mum frowned, confused.

“Let her go. You said yourself youre sick of dealing with her.”

“How can you say that? Shes not even my own mother, but shes still your grandmother!”

“Grandmother?” I narrowed my eyes the way I always did when I was angry. “Where was she when her precious son walked out on us? When she refused to look after meher own granddaughter? Did she ever spare a thought for you, slaving away at every job just to make ends meet? She even blamed you when Dad left”

“Stop it!” Mum snapped. “I shouldnt have told you any of this.” She sighed heavily. “Ive failed as a parent if you have no compassion for family. It terrifies me. Will you treat me like this when Im old? Whats happened to you? You used to be such a kind girlbringing home every stray kitten or puppy you found. But Gran isnt some stray” Mum shook her head wearily. “Shes already suffering enough. Your father didnt just abandon ushe abandoned her too.”

“Mum, youll be late for work. I promise Ill lock the door,” I muttered guiltily.

“Fine. Better we stop before we say things well regret.” But Mum didnt move.

“Im sorry, but it hurts to look at you. Skin and bones. Youre only forty, and you walk like an old woman, barely able to drag your feet. Always exhausted. Why are you looking at me like that? Who else is going to tell you the truth if not your own daughter?” I hadnt realised I was shouting again.

“Thanks for that. Just make sure she doesnt leave the gas on or flood the bathroom.”

“See? Thats exactly what I mean. Were stuck here because of herno life of our own. Mum, lets put her in a care home. Theyll look after her properly. She doesnt even understand”

“Not this again!” Mum cut me off sharply.

“Itd be better for everyoneespecially her,” I pressed on, ignoring the irritation in her voice.

“I dont want to hear another word. Im not sending her away. How much time does she have left? Let her stay at home.”

“Shell probably outlive us both. Just go to work. I wont leave, and Ill lock the door. Promise,” I repeated bitterly.

“Im sorry. Ive put too much on you. While other girls your age are out having fun, youre stuck here caring for Gran.”

Wed been arguing, oblivious to Grans door being ajar. She must have heard everythingthough she probably didnt understand, and shed forget it all in minutes.

Mum left for work, and I stepped into what used to be my roomnow Grans.

“Gran, do you need anything?”

Her eyes were blank.

“Come on, Ill give you a sweet.” I helped her up and led her to the kitchen.

“Who are you?” Gran stared at me, uncomprehending.

“Have your tea,” I sighed, placing a wrapped toffee in front of her.

Gran had always loved sweets. Mum and I used to hide them from her, rationing her to one with her tea. I watched as she unwrapped the shiny foil. Through her thinning grey hair, I could see the pale skin of her scalp. I looked away.

She used to dye her hair, pile it high in elaborate styles. Bright red lipstick, pencilled browsshed been striking once, drawing admiring glances from men. Until her mind began to slip.

I didnt know what I feltpity? Resentment? A doorbell chime pulled me from my thoughts.

“Probably Mum forgot something,” I muttered, heading to the door.

But it wasnt Mumit was my friend Jake, a sixth-former. Mum didnt approve of him, so he only came over when she was out.

“Hey. Youre earlyMum just left,” I whispered.

“I know. She didnt see me.”

“Millie!” Grans voice carried from the kitchen.

“Whos Millie?” Jake asked.

“Thats what she calls Mumthinks shes her daughter. Wait in the loo, will you? Shes having a moment today.” I nudged him toward the bathroom.

“No ones here.” I returned to the kitchen to find an empty cup and a crumpled sweet wrapper.

“I want tea,” Gran said.

“But” I bit back my frustration.

Gran forgot everythingespecially recent events. But she remembered the distant past. Mostly she was confused, mistaking me and Mum for strangers. Except on rare occasions when clarity flickered.

Was she playing me for another sweet, or had she genuinely forgotten the tea? Who knew? I exhaled, refilled her cup, and set out another toffee.

Her fingers fumbled with the wrapper. Once the tea was done, I led her back to bed.

“Sleep now,” I said, shutting the door behind me.

Jake peered out from the bathroom.

“Can I come out?”

“Yeah. Kitchen.” I checked the door was latched, then followed him.

We sat close, sharing earbuds, nodding along to music. I didnt notice Gran slipping out until the front door creaked.

When I went to see Jake off, the door was wide open. I rushed to Grans roomempty.

“The doorI forgot to lock it! Shes gone. Mumll think I did it on purpose!” My voice trembled.

“Why would she?”

“You dont understand. Earlier, I said itd be better if she just… wandered off. Mumll think I left it open out of spite.”

“Alright, grab your coat. Well find hershe couldnt have gone far.”

I checked the coat rackGrans quilted jacket was still there. So were her shoes.

“Did she just walk out in slippers and a dressing gown?” I stared at Jake, bewildered.

“Maybe shes with a neighbour? Ill check the streetyou try the flats.”

No one answered the doors on our floor. I gave up and ran outside. Jake was searching the playground, peering under bushes.

“Nothing. Lets try the next streets. You go left, Ill go right. Meet back here.”

I even checked the bus stop. No sign of her. How long had she been gone? A half-hour? Forty minutes? How far could she get in slippers?

“We should call the police.”

“Wait. Thinkwhat places did she talk about most?” Jake panted.

I drew a blank.

“Fine, lets widen the search. You head toward the schoolIll go the other way.”

Not all the streetlights worked. I hurried past shadowy patches, certain someone lurked behind the hedges. Near the school, I remembered Grans storyonce, shed forgotten an exercise book and returned to find the doors locked. Shed jumped from a first-floor window, nearly breaking her leg.

She hadnt gone to this school, but she always told that story when we passed. I pushed the gateunlocked. The building was a typical 1960s block, shaped like a “U.” Rounding one wing, I spotted a group of lads laughing at something.

“Gran!” I sprinted over.

She stood in the middle of the yard in her blue-grey dressing gown. One boy dangled an empty sweet wrapper, yanking it away when she reached for it. They howled with laughter.

“Leave her alone!” I shouted.

They turned, smirking.

“Lookanother one!”

“Granddaughter, is it?”

“Escaped from the loony bin together?”

The boy with the wrapper sauntered toward me. The others followed.

I stepped back. They closed in, blocking Gran. No more laughterjust leering, relishing my fear. I stumbled against the fence. The gate was too far.

One grabbed my arms. The others pinned mehands everywhere

“Oi! Back off!” Jakes voice cut through.

Two stepped away. The third still held me. A scuffle broke out. I kicked his shinhe yelped, releasing me. I snatched up a scrap of wood, swungtoo short, missed his head, hit his back.

He swore,