Brother Throws a Birthday Party, But His Wife Causes a Scene

My brother James got married six years ago. Since then, neither I nor our parents have set foot in their house. Every holiday, birthday, or family gathering inevitably takes place at our parents spacious home on the outskirts of London. Mum cooks mountains of food, sets the table, and still packs Tupperware containers full of homemade meat pies and salads for James and his wife Emily to take home.

When James was newly married, Emily had a birthday a few months later. Mum, full of enthusiasm, decided to organise a surprise: we bought a cake, picked out a nice gift, and planned to drop by. Mum called Emily to let her know, but she replied coldly, saying she hadnt planned any celebration. Mum, unwilling to give up, insisted:
Well just pop in for a quick cup of tea and a slice of cake! You dont need to prepare a thing, love!

In the end, we went anyway. But instead of a warm welcome, we were shocked: Emily met us on the pavement, muttering something about the flat being a mess and refused to let us step inside. Stunned, we handed over the cake and gift right there on the landing and drove back home. Since then, Mum has hosted every celebration at her place, and weve tried to forget that awkward moment.

Emily once said to our parents bluntly:
You have a big housetheres plenty of room for guests! We live in a one-bedroom flathow are we supposed to host everyone?

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from snapping back. Surely a small flat can still fit your in-laws and your husbands sister? Thats not a crowdits just three people! But we stayed quiet to keep the peace.

Now Emily is five months pregnant. Itll be our parents first grandchild, and Mum, of course, is over the moon. She calls James constantly, asking how Emily is, if she needs help. But recently we found out Emily quit her job at the start of her pregnancy. Mum panicked:
Is she unwell? Does she need my help?

James reassured herEmily was fine, she just wanted to take it easy. We were confused. James and Emily always lived beyond their means: fancy restaurants, holidays abroad, expensive clothes. They dont have a mortgagethe flat was inherited from Emilys grandmotherso they spent all their money on luxuries. But now, with Emily not working, their income has dropped, and their usual lifestyle is on shaky ground. James tried to make her see they needed to cut back, but she refuses to give up her comforts.

Emily confessed to James shed quit because she was afraid of catching something at work. Her caution is understandable, but their budget is stretched thin, and she still expects the same standard of living. Then, in the middle of all this, James suddenly invited us overfor his birthday! We and our parents were stunned. Dad even joked:
Will we finally find out if my daughter-in-law can cook?

Mum was excited, looking forward to a cosy evening. I called Emily to sort out the details, but instead of a normal chat, I got a hysterical outburst. She sobbed into the phone, saying she didnt want us there:
Ill have to clean the flat, cook a meal! Im pregnantits too much for me!

I tried to calm her:
Em, it doesnt have to be complicated. Roast some potatoes, make a salad, stick a chicken in the oventhats it. Well bring the cake. Its just a dinner for five. Whats the problem?

I even offered to order food so she wouldnt have to cook. But Emily kept whining that shed still have to mop and tidy. I lost patience:
Em, its a one-bedroom flat! Is cleaning really such an impossible task? Do you only mop when guests come over?

Finally, I gave an ultimatum:
If you really dont want us there, we wont come. Well call James to wish him happy birthday, and thats that.

I told Mum, and she agreed. When we explained the situation to James, he exploded:
Emily doesnt workshe sits at home all day! Cant she at least cook dinner and tidy up? Youre coming, no arguments! We cant afford takeaway or a cleaner, so shell just have to do it herself!

His words hung in the air like a storm cloud. In the end, we all argued. Our excitement about James birthday completely vanished. The thought of enduring Emilys sulky face, her dramatic sighs and eye rollsits no fun at all. We dont want to feel like unwanted guests in our own brother and sons home.

But at the same time, it breaks our hearts to hurt James. Hes so looking forward to this day, finally having his family together! How can we just not show up? Its his day, and he cant help his wifes moods. Were stuck between swallowing our resentment and goingrisking a miserable eveningor cancelling and breaking his heart. The situation seems hopeless, and every move drags us deeper into this family mess. What do you do when love for your brother clashes with dislike for his wife? We dont have an answer, but time is running out, and a decision has to be made.