I Just Don’t Know How to Explain to My Daughter-in-Law That My Son Has Gastritis and Needs Special Dietary Food

Im not sure how to make my daughterinlaw understand that my son suffers from chronic gastritis and needs a strictly controlled diet.

My son, Tom, is twentyseven. Just six months ago he married. His wife, Gwen, comes from a respectable family; her father is a GP and her mother a schoolteacher. For their wedding her parents gave them a tidy twobedroom flat in Birmingham, and thats where they now live.

Theres no particular reason for me not to like Gwen. Shes pleasant, intelligent and attractive, and shes just finished her medical degree. Still, Im constantly worried about Tom. I can see that Gwen isnt a very diligent housewife and isnt looking after my son the way he needs.

Toms gastritis is hereditary my husband battled stomach ulcers for years. He must be treated in the spring and autumn and watch everything he eats. When Tom lived with me, I always made sure he got proper meals. The moment he moved out I warned Gwen that she should be cooking dietfriendly food for him. She agreed in theory, but nothing ever changes.

I try not to intrude on their private lives and only visit occasionally. Yet each time Im there Im greeted by a mountain of empty pizza boxes. They claim they belong to friends who stopped by. When I open the fridge I never see any sensible fare just sausages, cheese, ketchup and mayo. Theres never any soup, fruit, yoghurt, milk, or eggs.

Ive bought fresh meat rabbit, turkey and chicken and asked Gwen to make a soup for Tom, but she never does. The whole bag of meat still sits in the freezer, untouched. I understand Gwen is still young; perhaps she feels pressed for time. But at my age I was already a mother of two and managing a household. She cant even look after her husband properly!

I offered to help: If youre struggling, let me step in. Ill cook and bring over meals. Gwen always declines. Tom keeps to himself, saying nothing. Not long ago he was rushed to the hospital with an acute flareup.

I feel powerless. I dont want to damage my relationship with Gwen or cause more tension, yet it hurts that she refuses to listen. My sons health is at stake and Im at a loss for how to influence her.

Could anyone suggest a way forward?