The Bold and Brazen Daughter-in-Law

The whole of Toms family has reached a unanimous verdict: Daisy, as a daughterinlaw, is useless and utterly shameless. At first the situation seemed promising, though: Daisy threw herself into heroic efforts to please her new relatives and win their approval.

Whenever a holiday appears on the calendar, the entire extended clan forms a tidy procession to their modest rented flat in Manchester, because Daisy not only works wonders in the kitchen but also conjures imaginative leisure activities to delight the cherished guests. The relatives never wait for a formal invitation they simply invite themselves. A typical example comes from the early days of Daisys tenure as daughterinlaw.

Hello, Daisy! Happy Bonfire Night! croaks the hoarse voice of her sisterinlaw, Blythe, as if shes chewing on something stubborn.

Oh, right Daisy fumbles back, stepping over a puddle of autumn rain, thanks. Ive been swept up in the whirl of everyday life that I completely forgot todays date work duties, dash to the doctors, all that. She launches into a candid explanation, because, as everyone knows, nothing brings strangers closer than sharing personal woes. Daisy desperately wants to belong. She keeps pouring out her heart: You called at the perfect moment; I just got back from my first ultrasound, so you, Blythe, will be the first to hear who were expecting

Blythe is clearly glued to the television, the background murmur of a news presenter growing louder, announcing yet another world disaster. The calamity on the screen stirs a mix of emotions in her: initial horror gives way to relief that, thank God, she herself is fine. She hurries to the point of the call and brusquely cuts Daisy off:

Bottom line, Daisy, well drop by this evening, so get the table ready! Mum, Dad, my husband, and little Ellie are all coming. Ive got to run the news are showing a volcano erupting on a tropical island, absolute nightmare!

But nothings ready! We havent planned anything! Daisy manages to protest, then freezes midpuddle as cold water seeps past the edge of her shoe. She hops onto dry ground.

Blast! Weve got loads of time! Youre our culinary genius, Daisy, a real magician, and Im hopeless in the kitchen. See you at six.

Bottom line, bottom line, bottom line! Blythe peppers every sentence with that phrase, as if it shaves off all the fluff. Daisy thinks later, a few years on, If only your tongue were shorter and your mind longer! with bitter irony.

Her proper name is Evie, and she prefers to be called that. But to the new clan, Evie sounds too pretentious, so Daisy sticks Daisy, pet name, darling. Even Dushka feels too cosy, while Daisy keeps her grounded, a reminder of the lowly roots from which she crawled up to Georges side, and instantly clears her place in the family hierarchy. So theres no point in putting on airs. Daisy is Daisy a small, resilient creature. Period.

Evie treats it as a matter of honour not to embarrass herself before her husbands relatives. Stocking up on provisions, she tackles the cooking with enthusiasm, aiming not just to feed the guests but to earn their genuine admiration. Besides hearty mains, the table boasts elegant canapés: colourful bitesize treats, tempting tartlets with various fillings, stuffed cherry tomatoes and minicucumbers, mushroomcheese bites, crisp Italianstyle bruschetta, and more. To entertain the crowd, Daisy designs simple games, printing props on her home printer and arranging modest prizes. Despite Herculean effort, satisfying the sprawling clans demands proves no easy feat.

Is this all homecooked again? the fatherinlaw asks skeptically, eyeing the overloaded table, I was hoping for pizza. When will you finally earn enough to order takeaway? Im tired of the endless homecooking.

Daisy swallows the slight, and the next time she orders pizza, sushi and a wok of noodles instead of cooking herself. By then they have a first child, and juggling a baby in arms makes lavish feasts physically impossible.

Ugh! the relatives exclaim, No homecooked food? Not even a simple salad? Come on, George, your wifes become lazy, all bourgeois. How can you serve guests only bread and oversalty noodles?

Its just pizza, George says meekly.

Its plain bread! Two slices of salami and a pinch of cheese! Thats the cheapest you could find, and Ill tell you, George: skimping on loved ones is tacky, very uncouth! scolds his mother, while Daisy turns beet red, full of hurt. She thinks, Tell them something, speak up! Explain that I didnt even invite you, you showed up unannounced, youve all worn me out, I dont want to see or hear you any more! Yet she stays silent, lacking the nerve to confront the tightknit clan. Others chime in:

As they say, what you dont make with your own hands isnt valued.

George tries to defend his wife, but he does so delicately, preferring jokes.

Daisy, dont take it to heart theyre simple folk, they say what they think. They dont mean you harm; youre genuinely liked.

Exactly, liked! George replies.

Of course! Why would they visit us so often if you werent a hit?

Freeloaders, Evie thinks bitterly, but remains mute.

Sometimes the guests call just half an hour before arriving. When Daisy sees Blythes or her motherinlaws name flash on the screen, anger instantly flares.

Daisy, were meandering around the shopping centre nearby, will pop over in half an hour, have a cuppa with you, Blythe coos.

I cant, the babys sleeping!

Well be as quiet as mice! Whip up a snack, be our hero!

Even if Daisy doesnt answer, they keep knocking until the door finally opens, so at least she can brace for their intrusion.

No one seems to mind that Daisy has a small child, that shes exhausted, that the guests are poorly timed. No one worries that George is busy at work, that someone needs a lift to the hospital, the market, the station or the cottage. George is an entrepreneur, his own boss surely its not hard to help family? Shouldnt his conscience sting when a mother, sister, brotherinlaw or cousin needs a taxi? Thats not family spirit!

Consequently they push through to a second pregnancy, during which George even begins to see things differently. The pregnancy proves very hard. After six months George fears leaving Evie alone for long stretches. One night he must travel to Leeds for work, staying overnight, and asks his sister Blythe to look after Daisy just to spend the night, call an ambulance if needed, and mind the elder son.

Blythe drinks wine, chats endlessly with Daisy until the small baby finally falls asleep. She collapses onto the sofa, which doubles as the marital bed because theres no spare bedroom beyond the babys crib. When the sofa is unfolded theres no room for two, so Daisy spends the night on a hard kitchen stool, because theres nothing to spread on the floor theyre pinching every penny to save for their own home. In the morning Blythe rushes to work, and Daisy wanders the flat, realizing the situation has taken a serious turn She phones a friend, who takes the child and drives her to the maternity centre. Evie is rushed into surgery to save the pregnancy. While shes in the hospital, George erupts in a spectacular argument with his family.

What if I ask you again for help? Never! Once I asked, and what did it lead to? When you need a freeride, Im at your beck and call; when I need a sliver of support, you turn me away! From now on, dont ask me to drive anyone call a cab!

The first shock fades, Daisy delivers her second son, and the relatives gradually find a path to reconciliation, but the episode gives Daisy and George their first sharp claws. George keeps his promise and no longer ferries anyone around, despite endless pleas. In truth, Blythe bears most of the blame, yet the parents side with her, claiming Daisys frail health is to blame: a normal woman should give birth as easily as she sneezes. They never dare offend their own son and brother, so after each refusal they mutter a sour word about the daughterinlaw, for she has turned George against his own kin.

The unannounced visits never stop theyre too comfortable and cheap. By then Daisy is fed up with playing the everwelcoming hostess, so she decides to become the bad one and teach the audacious relatives a lesson. She does it without a word.

One day the relatives turn up for a happy occasion the youngest has turned three months old. Naturally, nobody invited them

Oh, you havent even started cooking! the guests exclaim.

Theres a herring on the table I need to fillet it, and Ive already boiled beetroot and potatoes, youll find them in the pot, Daisy says with a sweet smile, rocking the infant, With four hands youll manage the salad quickly, right, Blythe? And you, dad, go fetch a cake, any cake I cant eat, Im on a diet. The relatives stare, baffled. They end up making the salad, buying the cake, and eating it themselves, leaving not a crumb for George, even though he could have had a slice! Daisy doesnt even stay to sit with them; she retreats to the bedroom, feeding the baby for an hour because the little one can hang on her chest all night.

At the next visit Daisy prepares nothing, suggesting the guests peel the potatoes themselves for frying.

There are frozen mushrooms in the freezer. Theyll be a treat, not a dinner! she says and walks away. The guests stand stunned, then start whispering. The motherinlaw enters with a stonecold stare.

Daisy, weve noticed you have no bread. Well all go to the shop together, maybe pick up a few more things.

Of course. Whatever you want, just buy it.

They go out for bread and never return, and from that day they stop popping in unannounced. Daisys reputation solidifies among the clan as the terrible daughterinlaw: a useless mother, a chaotic housekeeper, a shameless, brazen nuisance poor, poor George! All those years when Daisy laboured to host lavish feasts are wiped from the family memory as if they never happened.

Evie swallows the last of the hurt. No good comes from chasing good. At least now their house wont be overrun by unwanted guests, and they wont have to spend money on a ravenous crowd. Daisy decides that if extreme measures are needed, shell choose the one that lets her live more peacefully than the brazen relatives ever could.