I’ve Already Wrapped My Arms Around What’s Mine

Sarah had already had enough.

No, dear, the motherinlaw snapped, you had the child for yourself, so look after little Andy on your own. Im not fit enough to be fussing over kids any more.

Eleanor, a sharptongued widow with a pension, had a stubborn back and a nagging blood pressure. Sarah, what do you mean fussing? Eleanor protested, flustered. Hes not even three yet, a bright, calm boy. All Im asking is that you pick him up, feed him, turn on the TV, and hell just wait for us. It wont be forever; hell learn to get around on his own.

Eleanor huffed, Three, seven whats the difference? A child is a child. Its a huge responsibility! My back aches, my blood pressure spikes Ive already given up on myself.

Sarahs cheeks flushed with anger and hurt. She hung up without a word. If it had been anyone else, she might have understood the refusal, but Eleanors case was differenther health failed her in the most selective ways.

All summer, the motherinlaw spent her days at a cottage in the countryside. The fresh air seemed to cure her; the garden never aggravated her back or her pressure. She also managed a modest familyrun farm business.

Listen, Sarah, youll be buying potatoes for the winter, right? Eleanor said one afternoon, a hint of shrewdness in her voice. Why waste money on someone elses produce? Let me sell you mine, at a discount, just to recoup my costs. Its a winwin.

The deal didnt stop at potatoes. Eleanor offered apples, cherries, even aubergines. No one in Sarahs household liked aubergines, but she and her husband Mark were determined to help the ailing, old woman.

A year earlier, Eleanor had demanded a birthday trip to Brighton. I know Brighton is pricey, especially with a child, Mark said generously, but there are cheaper options. I could go to a modest seaside town, like Whitby. I havent taken a holiday in over twenty years, raising my son on my own.

They tightened their belts, putting off a new coat, delaying a visit to Sarahs parents in Manchester, and sending symbolic New Year gifts. Most of the sacrifices came at Marks insistence.

Eleanors seaside dream came true: a week of sun, sand, and sea, during which her blood pressure never flared. The regular allowance from her sononethird of his salarykept her comfortable, and he often brought groceries and extra cash when needed.

One day she called, Mark, weve got a pest problembedbugs. Ill need an exterminator, maybe a new sofa. Will you help me? If your father were still alive wed manage, but Im on my own now. I need to pay the pest control, buy a sofa, and get rid of the old one. I cant imagine how much that will cost.

Mark, ever the dutiful soninlaw, helped where he could, though Eleanor never returned the favor promptly.

Eleanors assistance wasnt free. She could look after Andy, but by evening shed invoice for a bakery bun he ate in the park and a toy she bought himan expensive toy the parents could never afford on their tight budget, especially with Eleanors pension barely covering basics.

I couldnt say no, Eleanor sighed. He was crying for that fearmonster doll. I bought it. I couldnt leave him hungry. I only have one pension, and this is still cheaper than a nanny.

It sounded logical, but Sarah felt like a client being charged for a service, not a member of the family. They wouldnt normally burden an elderly woman, but circumstances forced them. Two years earlier, Sarah and Mark had bought a flat in a newly promised development on the outskirts of London, convinced by the builder that schools and nurseries would soon appear.

Now its still the fringe of the city, Mark assured her, but in a few years therell be kindergartens and schools. Its all built into the master plan.

Instead, the only school was a grassy pit. The nearest real school was a thirtyminute bus ride with two transfersdangerous and daunting for a firstgrader. By contrast, a short fiveminute walk would take Andy straight to his grandmothers flat.

Naturally, Sarah turned to Eleanor for help, thinking it sensible and convenient. Eleanor, however, refused, leaving Sarah reeling as if shed been punched in the gut. There were no closer schools, moving was impossible, parents lived far away, and quitting work wasnt an option. Every road led to a dead enduntil Sarah remembered Eleanors offhand remark: Its still cheaper than a nanny.

Nanny

Thats it, Sarah told Mark that night. Well cut the allowance we send to your mother and use those funds for a nanny.

Marks eyebrows shot up, then furrowed. You cant do that! She raised me. She lives on a single pension and cant manage everything alone!

Mark, she isnt starving, Sarah replied. She gets produce from the garden and even sells extra vegetables. We often take more than we need. How much does she really earn? A few pennies! If private buyers were interested, shed fetch more.

Mark sighed heavily. Maybe theres a grain of truth, but it doesnt solve our problem.

What do you propose? Sarah asked. I cant quit my job, and a nannys salary is beyond our reach. Were not asking her for money; were asking for reasonable help. Your mother is an adult, a very clever womanshell manage. And Andy? He needs someone now. She told us to look after him ourselves.

Thus began a long, painful discussion. Mark spoke of duty and debt; Sarah spoke of guilt and manipulation. The battle was between blind filial love and stark financial reality. In the end, the latter won.

Mark mustered the courage to inform his mother of the impending budget changes. Eleanor reacted angrily, accusing Sarah of stealing the last crumbs from her sons life, shouting that the daughterinlaw was turning against him. Yet Mark stood firm, defending his sons interests.

Mom, you left us no choice, he said finally.

Meanwhile, Sarah didnt sit idle. In a parents WhatsApp group she met Anna, the mother of one of Andys classmates, who lived near the school. Anna, currently on maternity leave with her second child, agreed to pick up both boys after school, prepare a modest lunch, and watch them until eveningfor a small fee.

A month later, Anna was reliable as clockwork. Every day Sarah collected a fullstomached, happy Andy. He bonded with his classmate, they played together and watched cartoons. The family budget even nudged into the black: Eleanors help turned out to cost far more than the modest nanny fee.

In the beginning, the motherinlaw lingered in a mood of resentment, trying to elicit sympathy, but she never succeeded in changing Sarahs resolve and eventually calmed down. Her interest in the grandson also waned.

Time placed everything where it belonged. Perhaps at some point Sarah and Mark would have let the motherinlaw sit on their necks, but they chose love instead. They finally found the strength to say no and invest their resources where they truly matteredinto the safety and happiness of their own son. After all, they had the child for themselves, and there was no one else to look after Andy.