My Niece Came to Visit, But She’s Upset That I’m Not Feeding Her.

12November2025

Tonight Im scribbling down what happened with my niece, Poppy, who turned up at my flat in London for a short stay. Shes twentyone now, but she still expects the old aunttype hospitality I used to dish out when I lived with my sister, Sarah, in Manchester.

Sarahs daughter has been eyeing a place at the university here in London and will soon be moving into a hall of residence. She needed a few days to sort some paperwork and maybe sit a couple of exams, so Sarah arranged for Poppy to crash with me while shes in town. We never talked about meals; if her mother, Margaret, keeps mum on the matter, they sort it among themselves, as far as I understand.

When I arrived, Poppy was perched on the sofa, arms crossed, looking sour. I asked what was the matter and she told me shed assumed Id fix her a proper lunch. I snapped back, Im not your personal chef, Poppy. Ive got a hectic schedule and I need to dash out now. Call Mom, ask her to transfer some cash onto your account, pop down to the offlicence and buy a packet of biscuits, a few rolls and a cuppa. Ive run out of tea, you know. Youre twentyone, not a child.

It struck me that Margaret and I havent spoken much since my husband vanished a few years back, leaving me to throw myself into work. My days are a blur of meetings, and I hardly set foot at home. Im exhausted, and the thought of cooking for anyone feels like an impossible chore.

Seeing Poppy, now a grownup woman with a touch of femininity, should have been a delight. Yet Im no longer the freespirited Aunt Lucy who could whip up a feast at a moments notice. I told her to pick up her own groceries, slice, boil, fry or even order takeaway, so I dont have to risk wrecking the kitchen or the flat.

She went home sulking, evidently hoping for full board, and Im left wondering how to explain, gently, that I cant be the allgiving host I once was. I booked a session with a counsellor to learn how to set boundaries without sounding harsh.

Lesson learned: its fine to care for family, but you must also look after yourself; hospitality has its limits, and honesty is kinder than false expectations.