No Matter How Many Times I’ve Asked My Mother-in-Law to Stop Dropping By Unexpectedly Late, She Just Won’t Listen.

Dear Diary,

No matter how often I begged my motherinlaw to stop dropping by at night, she simply wouldnt listen. For some reason she believes she has the right to turn up at the house unannounced. Our little boy, Oliver, is just twelve months old and Ive managed to carve out a strict bedtime routine. If he doesnt settle down by eight oclock, I simply dont put him to bed at all the next two hours become a nightmare for both of us.

Discussing this with Margaret seems pointless. Every time I ask her not to arrive so late, she pretends not to hear. She clearly doesnt realise how unwise it is to visit her oneyearold grandson at that hour.

I work late, she says, slipping in for half an hour, making Oliver laugh, then stirring him up, and leaving me to wrestle the baby into sleep for the rest of the night. He soon becomes fussy and cries.

What am I to do?

Tonight I started the usual bedtime ritual. James and I had already chosen a film to watch when the doorbell rang. James opened the door to find his mother standing there.

Its hard to put my feelings into words I was furious. Furious, really. Oliver had just started teething again and was already irritable, so every peaceful moment felt like a gift. I tried to stay calm. After all, she is Jamess mother.

I put on a pained expression, clutched my cheek and shouted,
Right on time! My tooth hurts I cant bear it. I dont want to go to the dentist alone. Stay a while longer with the baby, then well be off shortly.

James could make sense of nothing. He hurriedly dressed, and we all left the house.

What kind of drama is this? James whispered.

At least we can get somewhere alone. And dont forget to switch off the phone! I replied.

We didnt get back home until after midnight. Margaret had to hail a black cab to return to Manchester. Oliver lay in his cot, surrounded by dirty nappies, stained clothes, toys, a pacifier, a rattle in short, a chaotic mess.

Margaret looked exhausted, her makeup smudged and her skirt speckled with baby mess. Since that night shes come over far less often, and never again at such a late hour.

Emily ClarkeI now understand that firm boundaries are the only way to protect our peace and Olivers sleep.