Touching Gaze and Embracing Happiness

Emily has spent the past nineteen years living in the little village of Littlebrook with her mother and her grandmother, hoping that one day she will finally meet James, the boy she has loved since childhood. She often smiles when she thinks of the neighbour lad who is five years older than her and muses:

It would be wonderful if James suddenly turned up in our village. But alas, his grandmother passed away three years ago, even though I cared for her

After finishing Year9, Emily enrolls in the local healthcare college in York, graduates, and now works as a nurseassistant in the village health centre. She frequently asks herself:

What does a womans happiness really look like? Does it even exist? Were three women in a purely female household, and I have no idea what happiness means to Mum. I dont think she knows either. She always tells the story of my father, whom I never saw, who fled as soon as he learned she was pregnant. And my grandmother Ethel, a kind soul, raised her two daughters alone after being widowed early.

Emily tends to the villagers despite her youth, easily giving injections, checking blood pressure, and treating minor cuts with a gentle bedside manner. The locals respect her because she is one of their own. She has dreamed of being a medical worker since she was a child, treating everything from cats and dogs to friends scraped knees with green antiseptic, and learning to dress her own little wounds.

Today, as she walks home from the health centre, James drifts back into her thoughts.

Why do I keep thinking about him? she scolds herself. He might already be married, maybe he has a brood of children, and hell never know Ive loved him since I was thirteen.

The last time he visited was for his grandmothers funeral; they barely spoke. He was with his mother, who looked unwell, leaning on her sons arm.

Winter has firmly taken hold; NewYears celebrations are behind them, and February is winding down. Emilys mother works as a postwoman, while her grandmother stays at home, baking delicious scones, making pastry pies, and preparing dumplings.

Turning toward her cottage, Emily glances at the neighbours house, the key to which her grandmother gave her long ago while she cared for the old woman. After heavy snowfalls she sometimes clears a path to that house, hoping James will appear, but

Hello, Gran, wheres Mum? She should be home by now, the little girl asks.

She dropped by earlier, then went to see Mary, a friend whos a bit under the weather. Shell be back soon; Ive taken her medicine. Come inside, Ill get you something to eat. The old gang will be here soon, Gran Ethel says warmly.

Thanks, Gran. Im starving, and its freezing today. Spring is on its way, though winter seems reluctant to leave, Emily replies with a laugh. Soon the sun will chase the cold away, and Ill be out in the garden.

Emily retreats to her tiny bedroom, lies on the bed, and her mind wanders back to James. She remembers a summer when he was seventeen, helping his grandfather Sam repair a roof. He slipped, almost falling, but his grandfather caught him just in time. A nail wounded his foot. From her garden Emily saw the accident, grabbed a bandage and some antiseptic, and ran to the neighbours yard where James sat clutching his leg, his grandmother shaking him gently.

Does it hurt, James? Let me dress that wound, Emily demanded, stepping closer.

Its its alright, he muttered, surprised.

Look at you, youve found yourself a doctor, his grandmother chided, smiling.

Emily examined the cut and said, Its not deep at all, Ill have it fixed in a jiffy. While bandaging she kept asking, Is it painful?

Her blue eyes shone with compassion, and she felt tears well up for his pain. James caught the look, returned a shy smile, and replied, Not at all, thank you. He never forgets those striking blue eyes; he was about twelve then.

When James returns from his stint in the army, he sees his mother looking gaunt and lips cracked. He cannot hold back his tears as he sits beside her. She weeps with relief at seeing her son safe, whispering, Thank heavens youre back; now I can finally rest.

Mother, stop saying those things, James says, promising to help her always. He proves a dutiful son, giving injections, massaging sore muscles, and looking after his weakhearted mother. He finds work and dreams of getting his mother back on her feet, which he manages to do. Soon she regains her cheer, tending to the house, and often reminisces about her childhood home in the village.

Ah, son, how wonderful it would be to live out here, not climbing from a fourthfloor flat, just sitting on a porch chair and breathing fresh country air. I could keep chickens he sighs.

James decides to travel to the village and plans to leave on Saturday. He knows driving to a remote, snowbound house in winter is foolish, but he promises his mother hell scout the place that weekend. Her eyes sparkle with hope, and he decides not to delay.

Stepping off the bus in Littlebrook, he is surprised to see a wide, tractorcleared lane leading straight to the old cottage his grandmother once owned. The path, though narrow, is shoveled all the way to the doorstep, even the three steps onto the porch are free of drift, and an aged broom leans there.

Someone must have cleared this up, or maybe someones moved in, he wonders.

The windows are dressed with light curtains his grandmother sewed herself; she loved looking out without ever drawing the curtains closed. James climbs the porch, pulls the key from his pocket, and unlocks the door. Suddenly a cheerful, lilting voice rings from behind him:

Hey there, you havent been here in ages, but Ive been waiting, feeling youd come back someday.

Startled, James turns and nearly loses his balance. Standing before him is a tall, slender young woman in a sheepskin coat and a fluffy white hat, her blue eyes sparkling. A pink flush colours her cheeks as she smiles.

Dont tell me you dont remember me? Im Ethels granddaughter you know, try to recall.

James recognises the girl who once patched his wound and guarded him from anyone else. He cant recall her name, though.

Im Emily, she says. Does my face ring a bell?

Emily, of course, Emily, James replies, a grin forming. How could I forget? You treated my leg you were tiny then, with those cheeklength braids sticking out to the sides.

Yes, you remember!

Her smile widens, and James cant look away. I used to clear the snow and wait for you. Come, lets have some tea; my mum and Gran will be delighted. You can stay a while longer.

James sits at Emilys kitchen table, sipping tea with strawberry jam, while her mother and grandmother retreat to another room after the joyous reunion.

My Gran has been ill lately, and I didnt want to upset you both, Emily says. Ive been caring for her, feeding her. Ive always wanted to be a medic, and now Im a nurseassistant here.

I remember you fixing my leg, James laughs. You did it so well there was no scar left.

Oh, stop it, Emily waves her hand, blushing. I was just worried about you; Ive loved you since we were kids She hides her smile behind her hand, surprised by her own confession.

James is taken aback but replies, You were a lanky girl back then, but I respected you for the way you cared for me.

Emily hands him the key to his late grandmothers cottage.

Your Gran gave me this when she passed; the key stayed with me. She always said youd return, maybe even stay, she admits, eyes dropping.

Keep the key, James says. Lets go inside.

Inside the cottage, everything is tidy, as if the old woman just stepped out. James feels a grateful warmth toward Emily for restoring the homes order.

I have to get back home now, but I promise Ill return. Ill bring my mum; shell love this fresh air. Ill set the place right, and you wait for me. Ill be backyour bright eyes wont let me go, he tells her, his heart racing with joy.

James realizes he wants to return, to feel happiness just by looking at Emily. He thinks, How lucky she hasnt married yet, how fortunate I am to be here, as Emily waves him onto the bus. He feels like laughing and singing.

Boarding the bus, he shouts, My Gran was rightI’ll come back and never let her go.

Emily walks home with a smile, finally understanding what a womans happiness truly feels like.