Dad Didn’t Keep His Promise

You know, said Natalie, choosing her words carefully. Grownups can be downright foolish, sometimes even more so than children.

Dad wont let me meet the aunt hes seeing, will he? Sophie asked in a flat voice.

I dont think its about unwillingness. Perhaps they havent sorted out how to make it work, or maybe Aunt Olivia is shy.

Shy? Im not a bitemark.

A strangers child is always a responsibility. Not everyone is ready for that.

Natalie stood in the hallway, watching her daughter rush to get ready for a meeting with her father.

Sophies phone buzzed in her pocket. She snapped it up, a look of sudden panic crossing her face.

Hes not coming? Natalie asked.

He said works a nightmare today, Sophie muttered, not looking up. Maybe next time.

Right. Get dressed.

Natalie slipped into the kitchen, careful not to say more than necessary. She filled the kettle and switched it on, the rumble of boiling water dimming her thoughts.

Eight years had passed since the divorce, and David still managed to be the master of moodkilling.

***

The first three years of their marriage felt like a fairytale: flowers for no reason, breakfast in bed, little gifts. Natalie believed shed drawn a lucky ticket.

When she got pregnant, David would carry her around on his shoulders.

But in the delivery room the first warning rang out, one she ignored.

A doctor was filling out baby Sophies chart while David stood nearby, pale and tense. Hed been present for the birth.

Whats the blood group? the new father asked.

The girls second factor is negative, the doctor replied matteroffactly.

David frowned.

How can that be? he asked, his voice cracking. My first factor is positive, Natalies second is positive.

Theres a mixup? he demanded.

The doctor pushed his glasses up his nose.

Remember school biology? The Rh factor can be tricky. If both of you carry a hidden negative gene, the child can end up negative. Its normal.

Are you sure? David squinted. No mistake?

Tests dont lie.

David called Natalie a hundred times afterwards, demanding an explanation. She repeated the doctors words a hundred times, sending him the links. He seemed to calm down, but

***

The trouble began after they left the hospital David changed.

He had diabetes, and Natalie had always monitored his diet, reminded him about insulin. Suddenly he started acting like a rebellious teenager.

Im off to football, he shouted, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Dave, which football? Your sugars spiking, the doctor said you must stick to the regime.

Dont start, alright? Im a man, I need to move. Your caring smothers me.

He would come home late.

One night he staggered in, his face ghostwhite, sweat pouring hypoglycaemia.

Natalie, ignoring Sophies cries, hustled around him with juice and glucose tablets.

Where have you been? she asked as she helped him sit.

I told you, at the match. Ran a few laps.

Until two in the morning?

We sat and talked later. Youre starting again? Its fine, itll pass.

Natalie wanted to believe. She sat alone, soothing tiny fingers, convincing herself it was just a phase, that he was simply tired. The baby would grow up and everything would sort itself

It didnt. Calls started coming in.

Her phone buzzed most evenings with former colleagues girls from accounts, managers. Natalie had been friendly with everyone while she worked.

Nat, hi, you busy? a voice asked.

Hey, all good. Whats up?

Nothing just wanted to check in. By the way, Daves at the office party tonight, right?

Probably. Why?

Just Katie stammered. Dont get the wrong idea, but hes been hanging out with the new girl, Veronica, all evening, laughing and poking her at the waist.

Natalie felt her fingers go cold.

Katie, stop. They might just have a project together.

Whatever, I thought you should know. Just being friendly.

Natalie hung up, huffing. Gossip. They could choke on their own tongues. She was convinced Dave still loved her. He was just sociable.

She brushed off her friends, joked, projected confidence about her husband. Inside, anxiety festered. A year and a half after Sophies birth, everything collapsed.

***

Natalie was invited to a big corporate gala. Her parents agreed to watch Sophie.

She slipped into a dress she hoped would hide the postbirth stretch marks, applied makeup, yearning for a night where she wasnt just a mum with diapers and porridge.

She arrived with Dave, but he vanished almost immediately.

Ill go say hello to the crew, he said and melted into the crowd.

Natalie mingled, smiled, took compliments, but kept scanning for Dave. An hour passed, then two. He was nowhere.

She started searching, checking the main hall, the lounge empty. She slipped into the side corridor near the fire exit, where it was usually quieter.

She saw them at once. Not kissing that would be too obvious just standing in the shadow behind a massive ficus. The new colleague whispered something, brushing a finger along the lapel of his jacket.

Dave leaned his head toward her shoulder, smiling the same way he had once smiled at Natalie.

They looked like schoolchildren sneaking a secret. Natalie froze, as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over her head, her breath caught.

She didnt scream, didnt create a scene. She turned, exited, called a cab, and drove straight to Sophies flat.

Dave returned at dawn.

Why did you leave? he asked, loosening his tie. I was looking for you.

Natalie met his gaze, knowing there was nothing to say.

I saw you behind the ficus.

He paused, then waved it off.

What did you see? We were just talking. Youre making things up again. Youre paranoid, Nat.

Dont, she whispered. Just dont.

For a month she drifted like through fog. Being in the same flat hurt her physically. When he finally packed his things and left just to live separately, youre too nervous she felt a strange relief. The air seemed cleaner.

The divorce was swift. Dave vanished from her radar instantly. He didnt call for an entire year.

Sophie was two and a half, sometimes asking, Wheres Daddy? Natalie answered calmly, Hes at work. She didnt lie; she just didnt explain.

Her mother helped with Sophie, and Natalie went back to work, grinding hard to become independent. It paid off. Money was enough. They lived apart, took holidays, and she never pursued child support didnt want the hassle, didnt want to chase him, didnt want to beg for papers.

Pride? Perhaps. More likely disgust.

Then one evening he rang.

Im Daddy, Dave announced. I have a right to see my child.

Natalie didnt block him. Fine, come Saturday, she said. He began turning up sporadically, paying for Sophies ballet and piano lessons. It was his way of buying goodwill he wasnt involved in parenting, just ticking the good dad box.

Sophie clung to him. To her, he was a partymaker: gifts, cinema, cafés. How much does a child need?

Natalie watched philosophically at least the girl had a father, however flawed.

***

Sophie padded into the kitchen in a cosy hoodie, eyes rimmed red.

Mum, why is he like that? she asked softly, sitting at the table.

What do you mean, love?

He promises and never keeps it.

Natalie sighed.

People are different, Sophie. Dad isnt cruel, he just cant plan.

He said its because of you, Sophie blurted out.

Natalie froze, cup in hand.

What?

He told me on the phone, Your mum always messes up the schedule, its why we cant meet.

Natalie set the cup down slowly. The truth hung heavy.

Sophie, Natalie looked straight into her daughters eyes. Did I ever forbid you seeing your dad?

No.

Did I ever speak badly about him?

Sophie shook her head.

No.

Then think for yourself. Trust facts, not words.

The new aunt saga had been dragging on for six months. Sophie once came home from a weekend with Dave and said:

Dad lives with Aunt Olivia. Shes lovely, Ive seen pictures. They even have a cat.

Natalie had just shrugged. They live together, fine with me. Sophie, however, wanted to meet her.

Mum, I want to be friends with her. Dad says shes nice.

Natalie called Dave.

Dave, Sophie knows about your girlfriend. She wants to meet her. What do you think?

There was a pause on the line.

I dont know, Dave said. Its a bit early, Im not sure. Lets talk later.

Later stretched into a month. Dave would promise introductions, then backtrack.

She really wants to meet Sophie! hed said a week ago. Shes excited.

How about next weekend? We could go to the park or a pizza place.

Sure, Natalie agreed. Sort it with Sophie.

And another cancellation.

Natalie stepped out onto the balcony, phone pressed to her ear. She needed a private conversation, no witnesses.

Dave answered reluctantly, background music playing.

Hello, Nat, Im busy, what do you want?

Busy? she repeated. You just told Sophie you had a pile of work, yet I hear music. Are you at a bar?

Im at a meeting, he snapped. I have the right to unwind.

You do. Just dont lie to the kid. Dont tell her Im the cause of the missed meeting.

Whos at fault? Dave shot back. Youre always micromanaging. When you pick her up, when you drop her off. Youre pressing me.

Olivia is scared to deal with us because youre unreasonable.

Im unreasonable? Natalie smiled wryly. Dave, lets stick to facts. Sophie was ready for an hour. You called at the last minute. Is that my fault?

Or maybe Olivia simply doesnt want to meet your child, and youre too proud to admit it?

Dont speak like that about Olivia! he yelled. She wants to! Its just circumstances!

What circumstances? The fifth time now?

Dave, stop playing games with the girl. If your lady isnt ready to meet a stepchild, thats her choice.

But have the courage to tell Sophie the truth. Or at least come up with a better excuse than blaming me.

You always make things complicated, he muttered. You cant even find a decent man, thats why youre angry.

He hung up.

**

That night, after Sophie fell asleep, Natalie replayed the conversation in her head. She was fed up smoothing over the edges. She typed a message to her ex:

From now on, all arrangements go through me, 24hour notice. If you promise Sophie a meeting and cancel last minute, there will be no more for a month. I wont let you turn her into a nervous wreck. Want to meet Olivia? Set a firm date, time, place. If Olivia refuses, the topic is closed. Ill explain to Sophie myself. No more later or maybe. Good night.

His reply came within a minute, just as expected:

Whatever. Those meetings do you more good than they do me.

***

Natalie finally forbade Dave from seeing their daughter without a court order. When he tried again, she firmly stated any future contact must wait for legal approval. He didnt sue too costly, and his new flame didnt want a stepdaughter. Sophie suffered, but Natalie did everything to keep her daughter from feeling abandoned.