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You Just Can’t Find the Right Approach with Him: A Story of a British Step-Mum, a Rebellious Teen, and the Limits of Patience

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You simply cant get through to him

Im not doing it! And dont start ordering me around! Youre nothing to me!

Daniel flung his plate into the sink with such force that water splashed over the kitchen counter. Emma held her breath for a moment. The fifteen-year-old glared at her as though she had personally ruined his whole life.

I only asked for a bit of help with the dishes, Emma said calmly. Its hardly a big deal.

My mum never made me wash up! Im not a girl! Why do you think you can boss me about anyway?

Daniel stormed out of the kitchen. Seconds later, loud music blared through his bedroom door.

Emma leaned against the fridge and closed her eyes.

A year ago, everything had seemed so different

Shed met Max almost by accident. He was an engineer in the department next to hers at a big construction firm. They crossed paths at meetings. Soon enough it led to coffee breaks, then the odd dinner after work, and long late-night phone calls.

Ive got a son, Max had admitted on their third date, fiddling with a napkin. Daniels fifteen. His mum and I split up two years back, and hes its been hard for him.

I understand, Emma said, covering his hand with hers. Its always tough for kids after a divorce. It takes a while.

Are you sure youre ready to accept both of us?

At the time, she genuinely believed she was. She was thirty-two, with a failed marriage behind her, no children, and a longing for a true family. Max seemed the sort of man a real life could be built with.

Half a year later, Max proposedawkwardly, sweetly, hiding a ring in a box of her favourite eclairs. Emma laughed and said yes without a second thought.

The wedding was low-key: just the parents, a handful of close friends, a modest restaurant in town. Daniel spent the entire evening glued to his phone, not once looking at the happy couple.

Hell adjust, Max whispered, noticing Emmas uncertainty. Just give him time.

Emma moved into Maxs roomy three-bedroom flat the day after they married. The place was lovelybright, with a spacious kitchen and a balcony overlooking the communal gardens. But from the very start, Emma felt like a visitor in someone elses home.

Daniel looked straight through her, as if she were just another chair in the room. When Emma entered, hed boldly put on his headphones. Any attempt at conversation was met with monosyllables, avoiding eye contact.

At first, Emma chalked it up to settling in. The boy needed time. New stepmother, upheaval after divorcehed adjust eventually.

He didnt.

Daniel, please dont eat in your room. Well end up with mice.

Dad always let me.

Daniel, have you done your homework?

None of your business.

Daniel, tidy up after yourself, please.

You do it. Its not like youve got anything else to do.

Emma tried talking to Maxtreading carefully, not wanting to come across as some wicked stepmother.

I think we need a few basic rules, she said one evening, once Daniel had gone to his room. No eating in bedrooms, cleaning up after yourself, homework done by a sensible hour

Em, hes already having a tough time, Max rubbed his temples. The divorce, you moving in… Lets not push him.

Im not pushing. Id just like a bit of order around here.

Hes just a kid.

Hes fifteen, Max. Surely at that age, tidying away your own mug isnt too much to ask.

But Max just sighed and flicked on the telly, clearly ending the conversation.

Every day, things seemed to get worse. When Emma asked Daniel to take out the bins, he looked at her with open contempt.

Youre not my mum. You never will be. You cant tell me what to do.

Im not trying to boss you. Im just asking you to help a bit in the house we all live in.

This isnt your house. Its Dads. And mine.

Emma spoke to Max again. He nodded, promised to talk to Daniel. Whether he did, Emma never knewthe situation never improved.

Soon Daniel started coming home after midnight. No texts, no calls. Emma lay awake, ears straining at every little noise from the street. Max snored on, utterly unconcerned.

Could you at least ask him to let us know where he is? Emma asked at breakfast. Anything might happen.

Hes old enough, Emma. You cant control teenagers.

Hes fifteen, for heavens sake!

I used to stay out late when I was his age, too.

But could you talk to him? Explain that we worry?

Max only shrugged and left for work.

Every attempt at boundaries became a shouting match. Daniel would yell, slam doors, accuse Emma of trying to tear their family apart. Without fail, Max took his sons side.

Hes struggling since the divorce, Max would say, almost by rote. You have to understand.

What about me? Emma snapped one night. I live in a house where Im openly despised, and you pretend like nothings wrong!

Youre exaggerating.

Am I? Your son told me outright that Im nobody and mean nothing here.

Hes a teenager. Theyre all like that.

Emma rang her mother, certain shed find sympathy.

Love, her mum said with concern. You sound miserable. Every word of yours, I can hear it.

Mum, I dont know what to do. Max refuses to see theres a problem.

Thats because there isnt one for him. Hes content. Youre the only one hurting here.

Her mother paused, then continued softly, You deserve better, Em. Think about it.

Emboldened by Daniels sense of impunity, things really slipped. Thumping music until 3am. Dirty crockery stashed anywherefrom the coffee table to the bedroom window ledge, even the bathroom. Socks littered the hallway; school books took over the kitchen.

Emma cleaned upshe couldnt stand to live in filthcleaned up and cried, powerless. Eventually, Daniel stopped even acknowledging her. She only existed as someone he could mock.

You just cant connect with a teenager, Max accused Emma one evening. Ever considered the problem might be you?

Connect? Emma laughed bitterly. Ive tried for months. But even in front of you, he refers to me as that woman.

Youre overly dramatic.

Emmas last attempt to reach out took her the best part of a day. She hunted down an online recipe for Daniels favourite dinnerroast chicken in honey glaze with proper crispy potatoes. She bought the best she could, spent four hours in the kitchen.

Daniel, dinners ready! she called, laying the table.

He emerged from his room, looked at the plate and grimaced.

Im not eating that.

Why not?

Because you cooked it.

He turned on his heel and left. Seconds later, the front door slammedoff to his mates.

Max returned, saw the untouched meal and his wife close to tears.

What happened?

Emma explained. He sighed.

Oh, Em Dont take it personally. He doesnt mean any harm.

No harm?! Emmas voice cracked. He humiliates me, every day, on purpose!

Youre just being sensitive.

A week later Daniel brought five school friends home. They ransacked the kitchen, leaving leftovers and wrappers everywhere.

Right, thats enough! Out, all of you! Emma snapped when she found them sprawled across the living room. Its eleven oclock!

Daniel didnt even look at her.

This is my house. Ill do what I want.

This is everybodys home, and there are rules.

What rules? one of his friends sniggered. Whos she, Dan?

Oh, just nobody. Ignore her.

Emma went to the bedroom and rang Max. He arrived an hour later, when the lads had gone, surveyed the mess, saw Emma worn to the bone.

Oh come on, dont make such a fuss, he said. They were only here for a bit.

A bit?!

Youre blowing this out of proportion. Honestly, I think you just want me to pick sides against my son.

Emma looked at him, unable to recognise the man shed married.

Max, we need a serious talk, she said the next day. About us. About the future.

Max tensed, but sat down.

I cant do this anymore, Emma told him, weighing each word. Six months Ive endured disrespectDaniels rudeness, your indifferenceand all I get is let it go.

Em, I

Let me finish. I tried, Max, I really did. But there isnt a family here. Its you, your son, and mea stranger tolerated only because I cook and clean.

Youre being unfair.

Unfair? When did your son last say a single kind word to me? When did you ever take my side?

Max was silent.

I love you, he said quietly at last. But Daniels my son. He comes first.

Before me?

Before anything.

Emma nodded, feeling hollow inside.

Thank you for being honest.

Two days later, her patience ran out. Emma found her favourite blouseher mothers birthday presentcut to ribbons, neatly laid on her pillow. There was no doubt who the culprit was.

Daniel! She showed him the shreds. What is this?!

He shrugged, eyes glued to his phone.

No idea.

Thats my top!

So?

Max! Emma rang her husband. Come home. Now.

Max arrived, looked at the remains of the blouse, then at his son and wife.

Dan, was this you?

No.

You see? Max shrugged helplessly. He says it wasnt him.

Who then?! The imaginary family cat? We dont even have a cat!

Perhaps you ripped it by accident

Max!

Emma realised then that words were pointless. Max would never change. Hed always side with his son. She was just a convenient accessory to their household.

Its hard for Daniel, growing up without his mum, Max repeated for the hundredth time. You have to understand.

I do, Emma replied quietly. I understand everything now.

That evening she got out her suitcase.

What are you doing? Max asked, frozen in the bedroom doorway.

Im packing. Im leaving.

Emma, wait! Lets talk this through!

Weve talked for months, Max. Nothing has changed, Emma calmly folded her dresses. Im entitled to happiness too, you know.

Ill change! Ill sort things with Daniel!

Its too late.

She looked at her husbanda good man, but one whod never learned to be a decent partner. Only a father, a father whose blind affection had spoiled his child.

Ill file for divorce next week, Emma said as she zipped up the suitcase.

Emma!

Goodbye, Max.

She left the flat without looking back. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Daniels face in the hallwayfor the first time ever, something in his eyes besides scorn. Uncertainty? Fear? It no longer mattered to her.

The rented place was small but snuga one-bedroom in a quiet block, windows overlooking the leafy back gardens. Emma unpacked, made herself a cuppa, and sat on the window ledge. For the first time in half a year, there was peace.

The divorce went through in two months. Max rang a few times, asked her to come back. Emma was polite but firm: no.

She wasnt broken. She didnt grow bitter. She simply realised happiness wasnt about endurance and constant sacrifice. Happiness is being respected and valuedand one day, she knew shell have that.

Just not with that man.

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My Husband’s Family Invited Themselves to Our Holiday Cottage for Christmas, But I Refused to Give Them the Keys — “So, we’ve been talking and decided: why let your cottage sit empty? We’ll head there with the kids for the Christmas holidays. Fresh air, sledging hill nearby, we’ll fire up the sauna. You’re always at work, Lena, and Vitya could use some rest—but he turns us down, says he just wants to catch up on sleep. So just hand over the keys, we’ll pop in tomorrow morning.” Svetlana, my sister-in-law, was speaking so loudly and matter-of-factly that I had to pull the phone away from my ear. I stood in the middle of the kitchen, towel-drying a plate, struggling to process what I’d just heard. My husband’s relatives’ cheek had long become a running family joke, but this was a new level of audacity. “Hold on, Svetlana,” I replied slowly, trying to keep the irritation from trembling in my voice. “What do you mean, you decided? With whom? 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And frankly, I don’t want a crowd of strangers partying in my home.” “Strangers?!” my sister-in-law shrieked, finally pausing her chewing. “Family! Your husband’s own sister and nephew and niece! What’s happened to you and your accountant’s heart? I’ll tell Mum exactly how you welcome family!” The dial tone sounded like gunshots. I lowered the phone to the table, hands trembling in betrayal. I knew this was just the beginning. Soon the heavy artillery would arrive—my mother-in-law, Nina Petrovna, and a full-blown assault would begin. Viktor entered the kitchen a minute later, offering a guilty smile. He’d overheard, of course, but had chosen to hide in the lounge, hoping I’d handle it. “Lena, isn’t that a bit harsh?” he tip-toed in, trying to put an arm around my shoulders. “Svetka’s a bit much, sure, but they’re family. Don’t want to hurt them.” I shrugged him off and turned. The exhaustion and resolve in my eyes made him fall silent. “Vitya, do you remember last May?” I asked quietly. He winced, like a toothache had flared up. “Well, yes…” “‘Yes’?” I raised my voice. “They came for two days ‘to barbecue’. Result: your nephew broke the apple tree my father planted; the lounge carpet’s still got burn marks; a week spent scrubbing congealed, greasy dishes because Svetka said ‘I’ve got a manicure and you’ve got a dishwasher’, though they didn’t even turn it on! Smashed vase? Trampled peonies?” “Well, kids… they played…” Viktor mumbled to the lino. “Kids? He’s fifteen. She’s thirteen. Not toddlers! Those two set the sauna on fire by not opening the flue! We nearly burned down! And now you want them there alone—for a week—in winter?” “They promised to be careful… Gena said he’d keep an eye out.” “Gena will keep watch only that the vodka doesn’t run dry!” I snapped. “No, Vitya. I said no. It’s my home—legally and in fact. I put my inheritance into its renovation. I know every nail. I won’t let them turn it into a pigsty.” The rest of the evening passed in tense silence. Viktor tried putting on the telly, switched it off, went to bed. I sat in the kitchen, sipping cold tea, remembering how we built that house. It was more than a cottage—it was a dream. We’d inherited the old cabin and rebuilt it over three years, scrimping on everything. No new clothes, no seaside holidays, every penny for our sanctuary. I sanded logs myself, painted the walls, sewed the curtains, chose the fireplace tiles. To me, it was a sacred place, an escape from city stress and work. To his relatives? Just a ‘free holiday base’ with amenities. Next morning, just as I knew it would, the bell rang. I checked the spyhole and sighed heavily. On our doorstep stood Nina Petrovna, the full force of mother-in-law: fur hat, bright lipstick, huge bag poking with a frozen fish tail. “Open up, Lena! We need to talk!” she thundered, not bothering with hellos. Nina sailed in like an icebreaker, filling the hallway. Viktor poked his head out, half-relieved, half-anxious. “Mum! No warning?” he squeaked. “What, do I need an appointment now?” She snorted, dumping her coat on him. “Put the kettle on—and the valerian, my heart’s been hurting for two days over you two!” Sat in our kitchen like a tribunal chair, I poured the tea, sliced cake, braced for what was coming. “So, dear daughter-in-law,” Nina Petrovna began, “what’s up with Svetochka? Your husband’s flesh and blood. All they asked was to rest at your place. Their own flat’s a mess, can’t breathe for the dust, and your palace just sits empty. Why so stingy?” “Nina Petrovna,” I answered calmly, “it’s not a palace but a regular house that needs care. Their renovations have dragged on five years, that’s not a reason to occupy our property. And I remember their last visit perfectly. The tobacco stench still hasn’t left the guest curtains, even though I begged them not to smoke inside.” “Who cares if they smoked!” she waved her hands. “Open the windows! You care more about stuff than people, Lena, that’s materialism! We raised Vitya to be generous and kind, now you’re turning him into a miser! You can’t take the cottage to your grave!” “Mum, Lena put so much into it…” Viktor tried. “Be quiet!” she snapped. “Your wife’s got you under her thumb. Do you want your sister and nephews out in the cold? Gena turns 45 on the third—they wanted a family celebration, already bought the meat, invited friends. Now what, cancel it all? Be the laughingstock?” “That’s not my problem if they invited guests without asking,” I shot back. “That’s called bad manners, Nina Petrovna.” She turned purple—she wasn’t used to anyone arguing, especially not Viktor. But I was made of sterner stuff. “Bad manners?” she gasped theatrically, clutching her heart. “So that’s how it is? I treat you like a daughter and you… Vitya! Hear how your wife speaks to me? If you don’t hand those keys to Svetka right now, I’ll… I’ll curse that house! My foot will never cross its threshold again!” “Hardly sets foot there now, you hate weeding,” I couldn’t help but mutter. “You snake!” She jumped up, knocking over a chair. “Vitya, give me those keys! I’ll give them to Svetka. Who’s head of this family?” He glanced miserably between her and me. Torn apart. He feared his mother’s wrath, had always obeyed, but also loved me—and the cottage too. He remembered fixing the porch Gena broke, dragging a barbecue in during a storm. “Mum, Lena has the keys,” he mumbled. “And maybe we’ll go ourselves.” “A liar!” she declared. “Right, Svetka’s coming round tomorrow. Have the keys on the table—with instructions for the boiler! If not, you’re not my son. And you,” turning to me, “remember this day. What goes around comes around!” She left, slamming the door. Silence settled, broken only by the clock ticking. “You won’t give them the keys, will you?” Viktor whispered half-an-hour later. “I won’t,” I said. “In fact—Vitya, we’re going to the cottage tomorrow morning. Ourselves.” “But we hadn’t planned… you had reports…” “Plans have changed. If we don’t occupy it, they’ll lay siege. I know your sister. She’d climb in the window if she decided she ‘needed’ it. If we’re there, she’ll have to go.” “Lena, that’s war…” “It’s defending our borders, Vitya. Pack your bags.” We left at dawn. The city was sparkling under Christmas lights but our mood was anything but festive. Viktor anxiously checked his phone—on silent, as I’d requested. An hour later, we arrived. The village dozed under snowy blankets; our house, with its bright wooden walls and snow-topped roof, looked like a Christmas card. I breathed out—sanctuary. We warmed the house, switched on the underfloor heating, unpacked Christmas decorations. The smell of pine and clementines filled the air; tension began to fade. Viktor went out to shovel snow; I watched through the window as he enjoyed it. He needed this peace too, but had been afraid to admit it. The peace shattered at three in the afternoon. The blaring of car horns at the gate. I peeked out and froze—Gena’s old jeep and another unfamiliar car. A crowd tumbled out: Svetlana in bright puffer, Gena, their kids, a strange couple with a huge Rottweiler, and Nina Petrovna—a general amongst troops. Viktor hesitated by the gate, shovel in hand. “Vitya, let us in—we’re freezing!” Svetlana yelled, yanking the handle. “Lena, what’s keeping you? We came to surprise you! If you’re here—even better! Let’s celebrate together!” I put a hand on Viktor’s shoulder. He hesitated. “Hello. We weren’t expecting guests,” I said loudly. “Oh, stop pretending!” Gena waved, his voice already slurring. “Surprise! We’ve brought meat, a crate of vodka—everyone’s here. Let us in!” “A dog?” I snapped as the Rottweiler lifted its leg on my precious juniper. “Get him off my plants!” “Oh leave it, it’s just a tree!” Svetlana laughed. “Come on! Kids need the toilet!” “There’s a loo at the petrol station five miles down,” I said crisply. “I told you yesterday—the cottage is occupied. We’re resting. No room for ten guests and a dog.” A pause. They’d assumed if they just showed up, with mother-in-law in tow, we’d give in—classic family blackmail. “You’re not letting us in?” Nina Petrovna shrilled. “Leaving your own mother out in the cold? Vitya! Say something!” He turned to me, pleading. “Lena, please… they’re already here, how can we…?” “Like this,” I said firmly. “If you open that gate, in an hour it’ll be drunken chaos. The dog’ll dig up my garden and foul the carpets, the kids will destroy the upstairs, your sister will teach me how to cook in my own kitchen, and your brother-in-law will smoke cigars in the lounge. Our peaceful holiday—ruined. Is that what you want? Or would you prefer a quiet New Year with me? Make your choice. Right now.” Behind the gate, Gena was kicking his tyre, Svetlana was screaming insults, the kids were throwing snowballs at the window, Nina Petrovna clutched her heart theatrically. And suddenly, Viktor remembered. Three days fixing the swing last visit, the shame over the burnt rug, wishing simply to nap by the fire instead of running out for Gena’s vodka. He straightened, stepped to the gate, and, quietly but very firmly, declared: “Mum, Svetka. Lena’s right. We said there’d be no keys and no guests. Please leave.” “What?!” the whole clan roared. “You heard me. This is my home too. No circus. Please go.” “You—you—” Gena started, hand trying to force the latch. “Go, Gena,” Viktor gripped his shovel. “I’ll call security.” “Security?!” Nina Petrovna wheezed. “We’re family! I curse you, Judas! And your snake wife! I’ll never set foot here again!” “Let’s go!” Svetlana yanked her husband. “They’re mad! Let’s go to Tolyan’s place—he may be half-built but at least they’re welcoming!” Finally, engines revved, wheels spun, cars reversed out through the snow. Svetlana showed me a very rude gesture, Nina Petrovna’s stare like granite. Five minutes later, only silence—and a yellowed patch on my winter-wrapped juniper for proof. Viktor rammed the shovel into a snowdrift, sat heavily on the steps, face in hands. “Oh God, what a disgrace,” he whispered. “My own mother…” I sat beside him, put my arms around him, rested my cheek to his shoulder. “It’s not disgrace, Vitya. It’s growing up. Today you protected our family—the two of us. Not their clan, but us.” “She’ll never forgive me.” “She will. The moment she needs something—money for medicine or help with a job. They’re like that. They don’t stay upset if it’s inconvenient. But now they’ll know—there’s a line. And start respecting you. Not right away, but they will.” “You think?” “I know. And if not… well, we’ll have more peace. Come in, or you’ll freeze. I’ll make us mulled wine.” We went inside, drawn the curtains, shutting out the cold and angry words. In the evening, by the fire, we watched the flames in a silence that was cosy, not bitter. The next three days passed in blissful quiet. Woodland walks, barbecues—for ourselves—sauna, books. The phones silent—the family had declared boycott. On the third of January, just as I’d predicted, Viktor’s phone pinged: a message from Svetlana. Not an apology—just a photo: some sort of shed, a battered gas stove, empty vodka bottles and blurry, drunken faces. Caption: “Having a great holiday without you. Jealous much?” I looked at the battered table, Gena’s puffy face, and then at my husband asleep with a book, relaxed, peaceful, content. “Nothing to be jealous of, Svetka,” I whispered, deleting the message so as not to wake him. A week later, back in the city, Nina Petrovna rang herself. Her voice was cold and hurt, but she needed Viktor to drive her to the clinic. She didn’t mention the cottage. The boundary was drawn. There’d be the odd skirmish, but our citadel stood firm. Sometimes you need to be ‘bad’ for others to be good for yourself, and to protect your own family. And from then on, the cottage keys sat not on the hallway shelf, but locked in my safe. Just in case.

So, we were just chatting, and had a thought: why just let your cottage sit gathering dust? Well pop down...

З життя3 години ago

There’s No Such Thing as Coincidence Four years had passed since Agatha’s mother died, but she still remembered the unbearable grief, especially the evening after the funeral, with her father crushed by sorrow in their big, solid English home. At sixteen, Agatha did her best to adapt; years later, after qualifying as a paramedic, she lived alone in the family house while her father, Ivan, now remarried, settled with his new wife Kate and her two children in a nearby village. On her father’s birthday, Agatha arrived in a beautiful dress and heels, smiling as she handed over a gift—only to be met with Kate’s blunt announcement: “Your father won’t be supporting you anymore; you’re old enough to manage, he has a new family now.” Ivan tried to defend his daughter, but was silenced by Kate’s complaints. After a fraught celebration, Ivan and Kate soon visited Agatha to propose selling her beloved family home. Kate, cold and sharp, insisted it was only fair—her own children needed space, and Agatha, now an adult, could manage alone. Hurt, Agatha refused, standing her ground. Ivan, torn between loyalty to his daughter and his new wife, grew increasingly uneasy. Things darkened further when Agatha was unexpectedly abducted near her home by a stranger who threatened her into signing away her share of the house. “In our business, there are no coincidences,” he sneered, forcing documents into her hands. But police, alerted by Agatha’s fiancé Arthur—a local officer—arrived in time to rescue her. The plot, it turned out, was masterminded by Kate and her lover, desperate to claim Agatha’s home and the money it would bring. With the truth revealed, Ivan divorced Kate and returned to his daughter, filled with regret but hopeful for the future. Agatha found happiness with Arthur, and their family—though smaller—grew closer than ever within the cherished old house. A reminder that in life, there’s no such thing as coincidence—only choices, love, and the courage to stand by what matters most.

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З життя3 години ago

You Just Can’t Find the Right Approach with Him: A Story of a British Step-Mum, a Rebellious Teen, and the Limits of Patience

You simply cant get through to him Im not doing it! And dont start ordering me around! Youre nothing to...