З життя
“Do You Want My Husband? He’s All Yours!” said the wife with a smile to the stranger who turned up a…
Do you want my husband? Hes yours! I said, flashing a wry smile at the stranger who had turned up at my door.
Hold on a sec, Holly! Someones at the door. Ill ring you back once I see who it is and what they want, I said reluctantly, cutting short my phone call with my childhood friend. Holly was regaling me with hilarious tales from her mother-in-laws birthday party, and Id been laughing so much it felt like I was in the audience of a comedy show.
I wandered to the door, peered through the spyhole, and stopped short. Id assumed it would be a neighbour strangers rarely managed to get into our secure building in York. But there, right outside my flat, stood a young woman with an odd, slightly dishevelled look someone Id never seen before.
I decided I wouldnt open up. Best not to interact with unknown callers these days scams were everywhere. I had a simple rule: dont talk to strangers. Con artists prey on the gullible, but I wasnt about to be one of them.
Just as I picked up my phone to call Holly back, the doorbell rang again. This woman was persistent. Clearly convinced someone was home, and determined not to leave without a response.
I was alone in the flat my husband, James, had popped round to a friends house to help with some work in the garden. I looked again through the spyhole, taking in the womans anxious fidget.
She seemed more pitiful than threatening, and I didnt sense any real danger.
Whats actually the worst that could happen if I just open up, tell her to go away, and get on with my weekend? I reasoned. Shes probably lost or here to flog me something tacky.
Resolute, I opened the door. The woman immediately straightened up, smoothing her hair nervously before speaking.
Good afternoon! Are you Emma? she asked, fiddling with the scarf round her neck. Well, you must be, so I dont really know why Im asking!
Great, I thought. The scams are getting sophisticatedshe even knows my name.
Who are you, and what do you want? Youve been hovering around for five minutes. I didnt invite you, so please say what youve got to say or move on, I replied, keeping my tone cool.
Is James home? she asked, catching me off guard.
Well, this is interesting, I thought. She knows my husbands name too. Clearly shes prepared.
So youre here to see James? I asked evenly, biting back other questions.
No, actually, I need to speak with you. Although if James is in, it would make things much trickier for me, she replied, oddly frank.
Trickier for you? What on earth is going on? I wondered aloud, curiosity piqued.
Hes not in. What do you want? I said.
Perhaps we should speak inside? Rather odd to discuss this sort of thing in a hallway, she suggested, gaining a bit of nerve.
No way. Youre a stranger, and I dont let strangers into my home. Say your piece here, and quickly, I retorted.
Would you really like to discuss the more, shall we say, personal details about my relationship with James out here, in front of the neighbours? she asked, giving a lopsided smirk.
What? What relationship? I blurted, louder than I intended.
Emma, are you alright, love? Why are you shouting? asked Mrs. Thompson from across the corridor, just stepping out of the lift, nosy as ever.
Oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Thompson! All fine here. Hows the weather outside? I replied, stalling for time.
Looks like rain, she said, pointedly dawdling at her door, eager to see what was going on.
Come in, then, I said begrudgingly, motioning for the woman to step inside.
Once there, she looked around with inappropriate interest, her eyes landing on the photos and keepsakes that lined our bookcase.
Youve got five minutes. Go on, I said, making sure she didnt get beyond the hallway. This isnt a museum.
My names Jessica, she began, peeling off her scarf and coat. James and I Were in love.
Oh, how original! Couldnt come up with something less cliché? I interrupted, my sarcasm razor-sharp.
Whats cliché about two people who fall for each other? These things happen. Youre not the first wife to get replaced, Jessica said, confidence swelling as she tried to edge past me.
And youre sure James loves you, not me? I asked, still smiling sweetly.
Absolutely. Wouldnt be here if he didnt, she said boldly.
Well, the trouble with your story is that my husband doesnt love anyone. Hes never figured out how. So youre barking up the wrong tree, my dear, I replied, calm as anything.
Jessica opened her mouth, about to reply, but at that moment, the door swung open and James walked in
and stopped, bemused, as he saw a strange woman in our hallway.
Jessica? What are you doing here, on a Saturday? Is this something to do with work? he asked, rubbing his brow in confusion.
No, shes here for you, I said, a wicked grin spreading across my face.
For me? What do you mean? Has something gone wrong at the office? he asked, getting more baffled by the second.
Shes come to take you off my hands, darling. Completely, I sang, relishing the unfolding drama.
Jessica, mortified, whipped on her coat and scuttled back towards the door.
Leaving already? But what about James? Wasnt he the reason you came? Honestly, Im more than happy to let you have him, I teased.
But Jessica had already bolted without another word.
What on earth was that all about? James asked, well and truly bewildered.
You tell me! Why did that bold woman knock on our door, ask for a divorce, and insist youd be moving in with her? I challenged, folding my arms.
Youre kidding me? James looked genuinely shocked. Ive absolutely no idea whats going on. She started acting strange at work lately, but Ive never led her on. Im sick of this nonsense. You remember I promised you, right?
Good. Because you know me, JamesI dont stand for that sort of thing. But honestly, women these days will do just about anything to try to fix their muddled lives, I said, shaking my head.
James kicked off his shoes and wandered into the kitchen, and for a moment, I stood alone with my thoughts. I resolved then and there not to let anything like this upset the peace in our home. Unbidden, I smiled at just how badly thought-out Jessicas plan had really been.
No matter how others tried to meddle, it was blindingly clearour relationship was far sturdier than anyone could possibly imagine.
