When My Husband and I Were Struggling to Make Ends Meet, My Mother-in-Law Splurged on a Fur Coat, a …

When my husband and I were struggling to make ends meet, my mother-in-law bought herself a mink coat, a big television, and lived like royalty.

Years later, though, life would take a different turn.

At eighteen, I found out I was pregnant. My parents didnt support methey thought I was too young. My husband had just joined the army. The grandmothers on both sides made it quite clear:

The baby is your responsibility.

Im not about to look after your child, not now, my mother told me.

And my mother-in-law refused to speak to me at all. So, I ended up moving in with my aunt on my fathers side.

She was thirty-eight at the time, childless, and had devoted her life to her career. She didnt judge my parents:

I understand themthings were hard when you were born. They didnt have much, and your father worked night shifts just to afford food. But now they do well enough. Your dad has a good salary, they live in a two-bedroom flat, and your mother works too. Yet here I am, about to have a baby on my own.

Do they truly not care? I asked my aunt.

They just want to live for themselves now. Dont judge them for it. Im sure theyll come round in time.

I didnt receive any help from them, so I packed up all my things and settled into my aunts flat.

When my husband returned from the army, our son was already eighteen months old. During all that time, my mother-in-law never visited her grandson, and my parents only saw me twice.

My husband took a job as a car mechanic. He tried to finish his studies as well, but it didnt work out. We kept living with my aunt. Once our son started nursery, and I secured a job, my aunt had to move across the city for work, so we rented a small flat.

Not long after, my husbands grandmother passed away.

His mother sold her mothers flat, redecorated everything to her liking, and bought herself whatever she fancied. My husband pleaded with her not to sell the flathed even offered to pay monthly or buy it from her somedaybut she wouldnt budge.

Why should I sacrifice my own comforts and plans? Ive wanted to redo this place for ages. If you want to do it, do it for yourselves, she retorted.

Five years later, our daughter was born, and we realized we desperately needed a place of our own; my husband left to work abroad. Still, saving up for a flat was slow going. We remained in our rented flat with the kids.

Meanwhile, my mother lived alone in her three-bedroom flat after divorcing Dad two years earlier, yet didnt have room for her own daughter and grandchildren. As for my mother-in-law, she was forever redecorating and in no hurry to lend a hand.

My husband worked overseas for years, but eventually, we finally managed to buy a flat ourselveswithout anybodys help.

Now, our son is finishing Year 8, our daughter is in Year 2. They know the value of moneyweve counted every penny to get here. We no longer struggle; each of us drives our own car, and we spend our summer holidays by the seaside every year.

The only person were truly grateful to is my aunt. She can always ring us if she ever needs anything, and well be there for her.

Our parents, on the other hand, have gone through tough times. My mother was made redundant and recently called to ask for helpI said no.

My mother-in-law is in a similar boatretired and unprepared to live frugally. She already spent all the proceeds from her flat years ago. My husband refused to bail her out too. He advised her to sell the large, newly refurbished flat and buy a modest one-bedroom.

We owe nothing to anyone. We treat our children very differently from the way our parents treated us. Theyll always have our help should they need it. I hope, when we grow old, well be able to count on their kindness too.

What Ive learned along the way is that true family isnt always about blood, but about those who choose to stand by you. When we help each other in tough times, we build not just a home, but a legacy of kindness and support.