“You’re Wealthier Than Most, So Your Gifts Should Show It, Nagged My Mother-in-Law: How a Family Bir…

Youre better off than most, so your gifts should reflect that, my mother-in-law grumbled.

It was a cosy evening in London when I sank onto the settee beside my wife, Alice.

What are we going to get your mum? Im really quite lost, I said, brow furrowed.

Alice sighed. Choosing a gift for her mother-in-law had always felt like navigating a minefield.

My relationship with Margaret Bennett was strained right from the start.

Understanding his mums chilly demeanour, Alice and I had decided it was best to keep our distance.

Neither of us owed anything to the other. Just the odd phone call, the occasional family gatheringif both parties fancied itand that was the sum of our communication.

This year, Margaret decided to throw a grand party for her milestone birthday, inviting nearly all of the relatives, including us youngsters.

By the way, Mum said shes happy with anything, I remembered suddenly.

She always says that, and then lifts her nose, Alice answered with a frown. Your sister can get her anything under the sun, but not us!

Alice recalled all too well how nothing ever seemed to please Margaret.

Remember Mothers Day last year? What did we give her? That luxury beauty gift set. And how did she react? Burst into tears and told us we thought she was old and ugly, Alice sighed. When has she ever liked a present from us? Only gold or some fancy gadget, because you can guess their value at a glance.

Perhaps Ill just ring her and ask directly, I said hesitantly.

Do as you like, Alice replied, shaking her head.

I dialled my mum, hoping shed give me a straight answer this time.

Oh love, I dont need anything. Just having you here is gift enough, Margaret said softly.

Really, Mum? You wont make a fuss afterwards? I pressed.

No, of course not! Im grateful for any little thing, she laughed, so I decided to take her at her word.

Mum says shes happy with whatever we choose, I told Alice.

She looked sceptical, barely concealing her mistrust.

But seeing how determined I was to choose Mums present myself, she agreed to go along.

How about we get her a robot vacuum, so she doesnt have to lug that old hoover around? Alice suggested, after we checked how much we could spend.

Thats what we settled on. We bought Margaret Bennett a gift for over £900, and set off for the party feeling rather pleased with ourselves.

Margaret welcomed us warmly enough, but when she caught sight of the box holding the robot vacuum, her face clouded over.

Whats this for? she muttered, sighing heavily. Just pop it in the spare room, would you?

Alice just stood there for a moment, speechless at the lack of gratitude.

Shortly after us, my sister Lucy arrived with her husband. She threw her arms around Mum and beamed, Mum, this is for you!

Thank you, darling! You two are just wonderful! Margaret cried, hugging her close.

Curious, Alice peered over to see what expensive gift my sister had brought to earn such praise.

With surprise, she saw it was merely a basic beauty gift set from Boots, costing hardly £10.

Alice shot me a questioning look; Id seen it too, and my own expression was a dead giveawayI was deeply annoyed.

I kept my cool for hours, but when Mum once again raved about Lucys gift, I couldnt hold it in any longer.

Mum, can we have a word? I called her aside.

Whats wrong? she asked as we stepped into the hall. Is something amiss?

Yes, Mum! Do you remember what you said about presents? I asked, voice tense.

Yes, I do.

Then why did you look down your nose at our gift while gushing over that cheap set? I snapped. Dont even say Im imagining this.

I wont. But you and Alice are doing far better than Lucy, so your gifts ought to be accordingly impressive, Margaret grumbled.

What kind of gift do you expect from us? I pressed. Cheap? Should we start attaching receipts so you know the price?

Oh, here we go again, she said wearily, making it clear she wished the conversation over. What am I to do if Lucys presents just suit me better?

Because you dont know what ours cost, is that it? I asked bitterly. For your information, this thing cost over £900!

That much? Margaret said, pretending to be surprised.

But she quickly found a way out of the awkward moment.

Listen, she said, the reason I go on about Lucys familys presents is because they give what they can afford. You two just tick a box.

Mum, are you being serious? I let out, running a hand through my hair.

Do I seem like Im joking? With what you two earn, a spa holiday might have been more fitting, Margaret declared, lifting her chin.

I was so stunned by her words that I could only stare, at a loss for speech.

Do you honestly think Alice and I have money falling from the sky? I finally managed.

The row drew Alice and my sister to the doorway, both looking surprised at the obvious rift.

Lucy realised what was going on immediately and jumped to Mums defence.

Mum doesnt need a robot vacuumher humidifier broke just three days ago. If youd cared enough to ask, youd have known that, Lucy scolded.

I asked her point blank! I ground out through gritted teeth. Is this some sort of joke? From now on, no more presents! We do our best to please you and all we get are complaints! The vacuums not right, it should have been a humidifier! Sorry for falling short of the mark! Come on, Alice, were leaving! I barked, turning to her.

Margaret burst into tears, and Lucy hurried over to comfort her as Alice and I left the house, stone-faced.

I kept my promise to Mum. Not wanting to look a fool againor buy anything elseI decided Id stop going to family gatherings altogether and save myself the aggravation.