My Ex Turned Up One Saturday Afternoon with a Giant Bouquet, Chocolates, a Bag of Gifts, and That Sm…

My ex turned up one Saturday afternoon with an enormous bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, a bag of gifts and that smile I hadnt seen in months. I thought hed come to apologise, or maybe to talk about everything wed never managed to clear up. It was odd, really, because ever since wed broken up, hed been icy and distant, treating me like a stranger.

No sooner had he stepped inside than he launched into a monologue telling me how much hed been thinking, how much he missed me, that I was the woman of his life and hed realised all his mistakes. He rattled on so quickly, it all sounded almost like a rehearsed speech. I stood there listening quietly, unable to understand how, after months of silence, he could suddenly be so tender. But then he came closer, hugged me, and told me he wanted us to get back whats ours.

While he spoke, he pulled out perfume, a bracelet, and a little box with a letter inside. All of it terribly romantic, on the face of it. He started explaining that we ought to give each other another chance, that he was changing, and that he wanted to do things properly with me. I began to feel uneasy the whole thing was far too good to be true. Besides, hed never been so attentive when we were actually together.

The truth came out after I invited him to sit down and asked him straightforwardly what it was he wanted. Thats when he started to get nervous. He said he had a small banking issue, that he needed a guarantor for a business idea, which would be good for both of us, and he just needed one more signature mine.
Then it hit me, why he had suddenly reappeared, all lovey-dovey and bearing gifts.

I told him I wasnt going to sign anything. In an instant, his whole face changed. The smile vanished. He threw the flowers down on the table and started shouting at me, asking how I could not trust him, that it was the opportunity of a lifetime. He spoke to me as if I owed him something. He even had the cheek to claim that if I still wanted him, then surely I ought to help. The whole thing fell apart as quickly as it had started.

When he realised I wasnt going to budge, he changed tack. He began saying he was lost without this loan, and that if I helped him, he would officially get back with me and we could start afresh. He said it without a flicker of embarrassment, blending what was supposed to be a reunion with obvious financial motives. Thats when I knew, for certain, that the whole show the gifts, the flowers, the sweet talk was nothing more than an act, just to get me to sign.

In the end, when I repeated that I wouldnt be signing anything at all, he gathered up almost all his presents: took the chocolates, pocketed the perfume, even snatched up the bracelet. He left the flowers thrown on the floor. Then he stomped out, calling me ungrateful and warning me not to say he hadnt tried to save the relationship. He slammed the door so hard it felt like I owed him something.

And so, our reconciliation lasted all of fifteen minutes.