So, Is a Marriage Certificate Really Stronger Than Just Living Together? – The Lads Teased Nadia

So then, is a marriage certificate sturdier than just shacking up? the blokes used to tease Helen.
Im not going to the thirty-year university reunion, Helen wailed into the phone, her only friend calling, Ill just end up in a depression.
Let those lot who go every year enjoy themselvesthey dont even notice how much theyve changed!
What sort of state are you in that youre so afraid? Margaret was genuinely surprised.
Didnt we meet five years ago?
You looked perfectly normal then.
Gained a bit of weight, have you?
Its nothing like that, I simply dont want to go, stop pestering me, Maggie!
Helen was on the verge of hanging up, hoping Maggie would see sense and work her way further down her phone list, but this time her friend clung on like a limpet.
Our numbers are already thinning out, Helen.
What?
Has someone popped their clogs? Helen gasped, suddenly feeling ancient, although not quite ancient enough to expect classmates to start dropping off like old flies.
No, nothing like that, its just that a few have run off abroad.
Only poor Andy Bush is pushing up the daisiestwenty-five years ago, so you know already.
Dont make a fuss, Helen, the whole year groups gathering, all four classes, though in reality therell only be about thirty of us.
You managed to marry off your son finally, didnt you?
So youre allowed to cut loose a bit!
Margaret prattled on, while Helen found herself remembering Andy Bushalways those dark circles under his eyes, that sombre gaze.
The boys called him a weakling.
Turned out Andy had a weak heart.
He studied hard, dreamt of building an impressive suspension bridge in his little town, but never had the chance.
What had Helen managed, then?
Shed fallen in love with Peter, a team leader in construction, same company she joined after her degree.
He did shifts in their city, then disappeared again, back home out in Kent or somewhere.
They saw each other for ages, Peter even called her his wife in front of everyone.
Said being together is what counts, not signing a bit of paper.
Real love, hed say!
People live together because they want to, not for a scrap of marriage certificate
When Helen realised she was expecting, it happened to be the very time Peter didnt come back for his next shift.
Turned out hed got three kids of his own and a wife whod fallen seriously ill.
He left the job due to personal reasons and didnt even bother to tell her.
And Helen?
She realised theres not much point demanding anything from a man with three kids and a sick wife.
She left construction herself before anyone started asking questions.
The blokes jokes still stung though: See, Helen, marriage license lasts longer than a flame.
Frankly, Helen couldnt care less by then.
She took a job stacking shelves in the local Co-op, recommended by a neighbour from her block.
They arranged that Helen could work two days a week, even after she gave birth.
Her mum agreed to look after little Jimmyafter all, Helen, hopeless as she was, managed to lose such a wonderful job!
You raised me this way! Helen finally yelled back at her mother, worn thin by criticism.
I hoped youd turn out respectable!
Hauled you through full-time university on my back, and you end up like this, Helenyou utter disappointment! bellowed her mother right back.
As the twig is bent, so grows the tree, mum.
What did you expect? Helen shot back, then instantly regretted making her mum cry.
They hugged it out, both in tears, but what was the point?
Where was the opportunity now?
So when Maggie rang five years after graduation begging Helen to go to the reunion, she obviously refused.
Theyd all be talking families and amazing jobs, showing off their pictures, while Helen mopped floors in three places: in their block, the primary, and at the nursery round the corner.
What would she have to say to any of them?
Or perhaps, what on earth would they say to her?
But for Jimmy, shed have done anythinghe was her pride and joy.
Then, when Jimmy started at nursery, Helens mum announced shed done her duty and shot off to her sisters in the countryside, apparently in dire need of fresh air.
A few years later, fortune surprisingly smiled on Helenshe landed a part-time job in her field.
With Jimmy now in school, she managed to pick him up after lunch, which made her the envy of the other mums.
Men at work started to show an interest, but Helen cut off any romantic hopes straight awaya stepdad isnt a substitute for a real dad, and she didnt need hassle.
To everyones astonishment, Helen excelled in her new role, eventually landing a full-time engineers post as Jimmy grew older.
Yet she never quite shook her inferiority complex, went about hunched, dressed drably, never dyed her hairand by forty, the odd grey streak had sneaked in.
She convinced herself she didnt have the right to be happy, having nearly pinched a husband and father from another woman and three kids.
No bright clothes, no red lipstick, nothing to attract attentionno point tempting disaster again!
Happy endings seemed for other people, anyway.
Around her, divorced women abounded and Helen felt, at best, no better than the rest of them.
But Jimmy, surprisingly, grew up gratefula testament to his mothers sacrifices that didnt spoil him.
Hed spend his summers with Grandma Iris and her sister, helping in every possible way.
Hed dig up the garden, plant potatoes, carrots, and beetroot with his two grannies, weed the beds, and water the lot.
Come autumn, hed dig up the spuds and help seal jars of jams and chutneys.
Since he was little, Jimmy was strong as an ox.
Hed chop firewood and stack logs in the shed.
Even Helens mother admitted, with something like pride, that it was a stroke of luck to have such a strapping lad, especially since her own sister was as alone as a garden gnome.
So, really, what did Helen want with cafes and class reunions to relive old times?
All those painfully familiar thoughts flashed through her head in seconds, just as Margarets voice pushed through her reverie:
So, youve got it?
Cafe opposite the old halls of residence, next Friday at three.
Please comeIll have someone to talk to.
Otherwise, who will I sit with?
Will you come?
Margarets voice quivered suddenly and, for reasons best known to her left elbow, Helen caved in.
Yes, alright, Ill come.
Putting the phone down, she regretted her impulsive promise immediately.
She stared at her reflection, phone back in hand, ready to ring Maggie and say the yes was a slip of the tongue.
But Maggies phone was busy every time.
Helen felt suddenly, pointlessly awkward.
Late that evening, she rummaged through her wardrobe and dug out her blue dressthe one Jimmy had insisted on when he got married.
Jimmy and his new wife, Natalie, had all but frog-marched her to the shopping centre for that dress.
Natalie had made her try on dozens until we find the right one.
Eventually, everyone agreed on the blue dress, surprisingly even Helen herself.
Theyd found shoes to match, and then Natalie dragged her to a salon where Helens hair was trimmed and even coloured.
That was a year ago.
Jimmy and Natalie were living in their own little flat, happy as clams.
Helens silver roots had crept back through, but she couldnt see the point of tarting herself up for no one in particular.
Still, she styled her hair, slipped on the blue frock thatd been gathering dust, dabbed on lipstickthough quickly wiped it off again, feeling ridiculous.
The cafe was packed and noisy when Helen arrived, right on time.
Margaret spotted her at once and hurled herself across the room in greeting: Helen!
Gosh, you look fab, Im so glad you came!
Margaret herself had filled out a bit, but it suited her, made her look a touch younger, somehow.
They chatted away at their table, until someone called Margaret away.
Helen sipped her juice, gazed around, and let the music wash over her.
Whoever put the playlist together deserved a medalsongs from their university days, when they were young and hopeful.
May I have this dance? a voice floated through the music.
Helen looked up, instantly recognising Alex Brown from the parallel class.
Hed married in third year, and Helen, back then, had nursed a bit of a crush.
Didnt expect to see you here, Helen.
Youve become even more beautiful.
First reunion Ive been toand youre the only one I recognised straight away!
Alex offered his hand, and Helenwhat the hecktook it.
As she did, she caught Margaret watching in delighted surprise.
They danced several songs, both silent.
Then Alex said quietly,
Helen, can I walk you home?
Just so you know, Ive been divorced ages, but if theres a fellow waiting for you, Ill just be your escortcant let you wander home alone this late.
He did walk her home, and the next day they met again.
And from then on, they didn’t part.
When it came time for Helens wedding, Natalie made sure to help her pick the dress and shoes.
Natalie was now slightly rounderHelen was going to be a grandmother soon.
She felt a bit self-conscious, being the bride at her age.
But, for once, Helen allowed herself to be happy.
Natalie hugged her and whispered, Mrs Brown, you really are beautiful!
Jimmy and I are simply thrilled for you.
Happiness doesnt have an age limit, you know.
Helen, sitting at the wedding table, beamed at Alex and thought, Maybe, just maybe, its time for me too.
At long last, Helen forgave herselfand gave herself permission to be happy.
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