How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Took Him Away From Us: Ever Since Our Son Got Married, He No Longer Visit…

When I think back on it now, it seems as though our sons mother-in-law plucked him right out of our lives.

After our son married, he barely wanted to see us anymore. Now, hes always at his mother-in-laws. She perpetually requires urgent help of some sort. I often wonder how she ever managed before her daughter married our son.

Its been more than two years since our son tied the knot. After they married, our children set up their own home in a flat wed bought our son when he began university. We always gave him support and understanding, ever since he was a boy. Even before he wed, hed lived on his own, as the flat was convenient for his job at the time.

I wont say I disliked my daughter-in-law, but even then, I felt she simply wasnt ready for the demands of married lifeeven if our son was only a couple of years her senior. She often acted quite childishly, at times sulking or being petulant. Our son was always so steady and good-natured, and I used to worry how he would get on in life with a wife so young at heart.

After meeting her and her mother, I realised what they were like. Although my sons mother-in-law and I were of a similar age, she behaved like a petulant child. You sometimes encounter people who act like children well beyond their years, dont you? Such folk can be quite helpless, incapable of managing even simple tasks. By the time her daughter married my son, shed already divorced no fewer than six times.

We never had any real conversation, as she lived in a world of her own, though she never forced herself into our daily lives. Our dealings were limited to cordial congratulations at the wedding and little else.

Looking back, the warning signs appeared even before the wedding. My daughter-in-law was forever pulling our son round to her mothers house: one day it was a leaky tap, the next, a socket that needed fixing, or a shelf that had fallen down in the kitchen. At first, I overlooked it; after all, there was no man about the house, so I thought a bit of help might not go amiss.

However, as time passed, the list of calamities at his mother-in-laws never seemed to get any shorter. Our son started to ignore us more and more, always saying they were off to help her mother. Soon after, they were spending every holiday at her place, and it was just me, my husband and my mother-in-law left at home for the festivities.

It hurt when our son stopped showing up for all the family occasions, but it was even worse when he began to brush off any requests for help from us.

There was one instance, I remember, when wed bought a new fridge and asked our son to help bring it home. He agreed at first, but rang later to say he couldnt come, as he and his wife were on their way to her mothers because her washing machine was leaking.

When I called him, I overheard my daughter-in-law say, Couldnt your parents hire a removal firm? Our son eventually arrived, but he was fuming.

Dad, why couldnt you just get someone in to sort it? Now I have to lug the thing by myself!

I began to wonder why his mother-in-law never hired a tradesman herself. Perhaps, I thought, she lives in her own little world where such people dont exist. My son insisted his mother-in-law needed help, complaining how every so-called professional she hired pulled a fast one, pocketed her money, and never fixed anything.

At that point, my husband had had enough. He remarked, somewhat sharply, that our sons mother-in-law might not know the first thing about appliances, but she certainly knew how to shepherd a sheepbecause she was extremely good at leading one around. Our son took great offence at that, argued with his father, and left in a huff. I kept out of it at the time, admittedly agreeing with my husband; our sons new relations seemed content to live off him, expecting him to fix everything under the sun while neglecting us completely.

After that quarrel, our son didnt speak to his father for more than a fortnight. My husband refused to be the first to make amends, and I now found myself torn between them. Of course, my husband had a point, but I felt he might have chosen kinder words. Now our son is full of resentment and wont visit, and I fear losing him over such a trivial matter.

Neither side will budgemy husband wont reach out, and my son wont respond unless he gets an apology. But in all of this, its the mother-in-law who seems to have everything just as she wants!