After My Parents Retired, Living with Them Became a Nightmare When I Realised I Barely Knew the People I Was Sharing a Home With

Since Im an only child, when I got married, my husband and I moved in with my parents. At first, everything was absolutely fine. Life at home ran smoothly we didnt bicker, and everyone chipped in with the chores as much as they could. The deal in our house was: whoever had a free moment just pitched in, whether it was making tea, hoovering, or sorting out the laundry. There was never any tension between me and my mum, not even over silly little things. If I cooked dinner, shed tackle the washing up; if I did the cleaning, she looked after the kids. Basically, we shared the load depending on who was around. All of this changed drastically when they both retired.

Their retirement really turned things upside down. They stopped working entirely. My dad spends his days playing chess with his mates under the old oak tree in our back garden, while my mum is all about tending to her flowers and fussing over her petunias.

Mum, at home, doesnt bother with much at all not even the basics. She wont even do the simple stuff, like washing up after herself. Ill come home shattered after a day at work, and therell be a mountain of dirty plates on the counter, no sign of dinner, fridge completely bare, and the house a total mess. It gets me down; I just dont know where to start sometimes. How can she not even put the kettle on or tidy up a bit? I work hard too, and I get tired just the same as anyone else. If these were distant relatives behaving like this, I probably wouldnt even care, but because its my own family, it just makes me feel awkward and out of place almost like they see me as some outsider and cant be bothered about how worn out I am. I tried talking to Mum about it, but she just brushed it off. She basically said she’s already done her bit in life, and if something needs doing, well, someone else can do it. That was the end of our chat.

I keep trying to understand where they’re coming from, but honestly, it just leaves me more and more disappointed. Im only human, and I have my limits. I really cant get my head around how theyre happy to lounge about all day doing nothing. Im at a bit of a loss. Should I try again to have a proper conversation with Mum, or should I maybe start thinking about moving out? Maybe if we moved, it would give them the space to live as they like, and my husband and I could set up a home that suits us better.