Adam had lunch, enjoyed tea and coffee we bought, but we didn’t hear what he said about all of us at the office party

There was a fellow in our company once. His name was Benjamin. He headed up one of the teams in our London office, and while I wouldnt say he was exactly hard up, that was simply the way of things. He drove quite the flashy Jaguar, dressed head to toe in high-end boutiques, and always looked perfectly put togetherimmaculate, really. Yet, there was one glaring flaw: Benjamin was an outrageous penny-pincher, especially when it came to food.

During lunch breaks, he would wander slowly around all the desks, eyeing up any table that had food spread out. Hed slide into a seat by pure accident, reach out almost immediately, and begin eating without so much as a by-your-leave. Whenever he caught a whiff of something tasty, hed say things like, Oh! Smells rather lovely over here! or, Wow, are those sausage rolls? Go on, let me try one! And always, his trademark line: Whatve we got here then?as hed help himself to whatever was in arms reach.

He never pitched in for birthday collections or gifts for colleagues. Yet come the office festivities, youd find Benjamin right in the thick of things, singing Happy Birthday and piling his plate high, acting as if hed contributed the lions share. People noticed, too, how hed always charge his phone and gadgets at work, all to save on his own electricity bill back home in Croydon, and how hed never leave until hed filled up his water bottledidnt want to waste a drop from his own kettle.

In short, Benjamin was as tight as they come, always dressing it up as being wise with money. But everything came to a head at our last office do. Benjamin had a few too many pints, and when someone asked if hed ever settle down, he blurted out, cheeks flushed and voice loud, Why would I want a wife? Shed only want my cash for groceries and clothes. And if she had a childwell, thatd bankrupt me. No, Im much better off aloneno expenses to speak of.

His colleague shot back with a dry laugh, Yeah, youre living well alrightbut thats all at our expense. The remark struck a nerve. Benjamin bristled, voice raised, Yes, its true, but I live smart, dont I? Ive got a brilliant car, a house thats the envy of the streetand what do you lot have, burning your wages on lunches?

After that night, the whole department gave Benjamin the cold shoulderno more lunchtime banter, no more friendly chats. In the end, he had no choice but to move on to another firm, hoping, perhaps, for fresh faces and a new start.