“I don’t want a daughter-in-law anymore, so do whatever you want!” – the mother told her son.

14th June

Today, Ive spent most of my time lost in memories, turning over the choices Ive made and the path my life has taken. Sometimes I wonder if it might have all gone differently, if only I had stood firm at the crossroads.

After finishing at Cambridge, I decided it was time to marry my first love from school, Emily. Emily had always been sweet and clevershe was everything Id hoped for in a partner. At the time, she was deep in the throes of writing her masters dissertation. We agreedonce she handed in her thesis, we would tie the knot.

I remember how nervous I felt, breaking the news to my mother. I thought shed be happy for me, but her response crushed me. She quite bluntly said that I could either marry Charlotte, the girl next door, or I would marry no one. Then she pressed the issue further: what did I value more, love or career? I knew she had dreams of me becoming some high-flying barrister or businessmansuccess as she defined it.

Charlotte came from an affluent family. Shed been fond of me for years, but my heart belonged to Emily, though hers was a modest background. To make things worse in Mothers eyes, Emilys mum was talked about in the neighbourhooda reputation unfit for her tastes. I dont need another daughter-in-law, she said. Youll do as you wish, but dont look to me.

I spent months trying to change her mind, but she stood her ground. At one point she even said shed curse me if I married Emily. That genuinely shook me. After that, Emily and I drifted. Six months of quiet meetings, our romance ran its sad course.

In the end, I married Charlotte. She adored me. We agreed not to have a big weddingI couldnt bear the thought of Emily coming across our photographs in the local paper. Charlottes family was well-off, and so I moved into their grand house on the outskirts of Bath. Her parents put me on the right track in my career too. But happiness never came to me.

I never wanted children, and eventually when Charlotte realised she wouldnt change my mind, she filed for divorce. She was thirty-eight by then, and Id already turned forty. She later remarried, had a child, and found contentment.

Meanwhile, I kept thinking about Emily all these years, searching for her without luck. It felt as though shed vanished off the face of the earth. Later I discovered through an old friend that after wed split up, she married the first man shed meta terrible sort, who would eventually kill her.

Since then, my lifes been a shadow. I live alone now in my parents old flat in Bristol, spending my evenings with a bottle of whisky and staring at an old photo of Emily. I cannot bring myself to forgive my mother, nor find peace from the regret that sits heavy on my chest.