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We’ll crash at your place for a bit since we’re broke and can’t afford our own flat!” my friend told…

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We’ll crash at yours for a while, we can’t afford to rent our own flat! said my friend.

I’m a spry sixtyfiveyearold bloke who still gets up and about, travelling to new places and meeting fascinating people. I look back on my younger days with both pride and a touch of melancholy. Back then we could holiday wherever we fanciedhead down to Brighton for a seaside break, set up a tent in the Lake District with mates, or take a leisurely cruise down the Thames. All of it was doable on a modest sum of pounds.

Those carefree times are now firmly behind me.

I’ve always loved meeting peopleon the beach, in the theatre, at the local pub. Many of those acquaintances turned into lifelong friendships.

One summer I struck up a friendship with a woman called Emily Harper. We were both staying at the same country inn near Bath. When the holiday ended we parted as friends. Over the years we kept in touch, exchanging letters and holiday greetings. Then, out of the blue, I received an unsigned telegram that read: A train arrives at three in the morning. Wait for me at the station.

I had no idea who could have sent it. Of course my husband and I didn’t travel anywhere. Yet at four oclock that morning there was a knock at our front door. I opened it and froze in astonishment. On the step stood Emily, two teenage girls, an elderly lady and a man, all burdened with a huge pile of belongings. My husband and I were speechless, but we let the unexpected guests in. Emily then asked:

Why didn’t you move out after I sent you that telegram? A cab costs a fortune!
I’m sorry, I had no idea who sent it!
Well, I had your address, so here I am.
I thought we’d just keep writing letters, that was all!

Emily went on to tell me that one of the girls had just finished school and was heading off to university. The rest of the family had turned up to support her.

We’ll stay with you! We can’t afford a place of our own, and yours is close to the centre!

I was taken aback. We weren’t even related. Why should we let a complete stranger and his family move into our home? They expected us to feed them three times a day. They brought a bit of food but cooked nothing themselves, leaving me to handle everything.

After three days I had had enough and asked Emily and her relatives to leave, wherever they wished. A huge uproar broke out. Emily began smashing dishes and shrieking hysterically.

I was simply stunned by her behaviour. When they finally went, they managed to make off with my bathrobe, a few towels and, unbelievably, a large pot of cabbage. I have no idea how they got that pot out the door, but it simply vanished.

And that was the end of our friendship. Thank heavens! I never heard from or saw Emily again. Now I’m far more cautious when I get to know new people.

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