My Husband’s Parents Won’t Back Down – They Keep Pushing Him to Reconcile with His Ex-Wife. “Don’t You Understand? After All, They Have a Child Together!” My Mother-in-Law Complains

Im married to a chap whose parents have never quite accepted that their darling boy is, in fact, very much divorced. Its been well over four years, but you wouldnt know it from the way they carry on, constantly scheming to get the old couple back together. The fact that he and I tied the knot three years ago and are living a rather cheerful life seems to have passed them by. My mother-in-law is convinced her son acted rashly and foolishly and now must, at all costs, patch things up with his former wife and her clan. After all, their son is still around, and hopethat thoroughly British cursesprings eternal.

When I first met Adam, his divorce was old news. Supposedly, theyd parted amicably, and shed already marched off down the aisle for the second time, quite merrily. Some dashing gentleman had likely been the catalyst for the break-up.

Perhaps I made a mistake marrying him in the first place. My mum rather insisted we should. His ex got pregnant, and he confessed he was never really in love. He was just seeing her because, well, he was. If it hadnt been for the baby, marriage wouldnt even have crossed his mind. Or so my husband explained, with all the emotional range of a damp scone.

To be fair, I never worried much about his ex-wife. I kept my eyes open at first, but it quickly became clear that Adam was thoroughly uninterested in his former family, and she was equally indifferent towards him. Shed remarried, and any contact was strictly about their son.

If only my in-laws could take a page from their book! Instead, they cant bear the stalemate, always plotting some harebrained reunion. They dont think much of our relationship, to put it delicately.

Youre both so young! Lifes ahead of you! Why meddle in someone elses family? my mother-in-law quizzed me one afternoon when we found ourselves alone.

I told her straightI wouldnt have gone near Adam if he was still married. But he wasnt, he was well and truly single. My mother-in-law wanted to protest, but Adam wandered in, and she shot to silence like someone had pressed her mute button. Thats when I realised we were never going to be best friendsand I couldnt work up much concern about it.

Adam and I married and set up home together, keeping barely any contact with my mother-in-law apart from the odd family gathering, where shed regale everyone with her nostalgia for Adams first wife. Adam would try to hush her, but she was relentless, and the cycle started anew at every opportunity.

We werent in a rush to have kids. Frankly, motherhood wasnt calling my name, and Adam already had a sonmuch to his mothers delight. When Adams first marriage ended, his mother practically threw her arms around the situation, inviting his ex over for Christmas and sighing wistfully at their “lost potential.” She praised his ex for literally any reasonOh, she carves a roast so nicely!all while his ex seemed unbothered, just showing up and going through the motions. You could practically see her counting down the seconds until she could leg it.

My mother-in-law even tried a bit of amateur dramatics, attempting to make Adam jealous of his exor riling me up about him. Shed ring and ask if I knew where Adam was, and if I didnt, shed insinuate he must be off with the ex. Sometimes shed even send him on errands to her. The list goes on.

Ive never had a jealous bone in my body, but even I found it a tad irritating. Anyone could see the spark between Adam and his ex burnt out long ago, and their only real connection is their son. Adam dutifully sends maintenance payments, chats with his son now and again, and has him over for visits. His ex, to her credit, never stirs up trouble, never tries to bleed him dry for more money, and keeps the lines open for contact. Frankly, she seems perfectly reasonable. They act like adults about it allfair play to them. It didnt work out, and everyones moved on, mutual respect intact.

Except for my mother-in-law, who continues hatching plots like some suburban Lady Macbeth. When will she let it go? When will wisdom descend? My husbands convinced itll all settle down once I pop out a grandchild, but between you and me, I cant see it moving that wayno matter how many cups of tea she makes.