A Beautiful Reflection… Truly Beyond Words

A beautiful reflection I am lost for words
Today was one of those days when life simply stops you in your tracks. I had always struggled to get along with my husband in fact, things had become unbearable between us. But everything changed the night my heart just stopped. As I drifted closer to the end, an angel appeared to me. He told me that after weighing my good and bad deeds, it wasnt yet my time to enter heaven. Instead, he offered me a chance: a few more days on earth to make amends, to complete the good deeds that were still missing from my life. I accepted and awoke at home, back beside the man I had grown so distant from.

He didnt speak to me. We hadnt spoken for ages we barely lived as husband and wife anymore.

I thought to myself,
Maybe I should try and make things right with him. He sleeps on the sofa now. I havent cooked for him in forever. Hes in the lounge ironing his shirt for work perhaps I could surprise him.

When he left the house, I gathered all his clothes and started washing and ironing them. I made a lovely meal, put flowers and candles on the table, and left a note on the sofa:

I think youd be more comfortable sleeping in the bed, the one thats always been ours. The bed where, out of love, our children were born. The bed where wed hold each other night after night, hiding from our fears and feeling close. That love is still here, waiting for us. If you can forgive my mistakes meet me there.

Your wife

As I wrote the last words: If you can forgive my mistakes, a sudden stubbornness flared up inside me.

What am I doing? Why should I apologise? Wasnt it him who came home so angry, after he lost his job at the plant and couldnt find another? I was the one trying to juggle our savings and put up with his moods. Then he started drinking, would sit for hours in his chair, silencing our children when they just wanted to play. He shouted at me whenever I tried to talk sense into him. He destroyed everything and now Im the one to say sorry?

In a flash of anger, I tore the letter up but then, clear as day, I heard the angels voice:

Remember: just a few more good deeds, and youll reach heaven. Otherwise, you wont be allowed in.

I paused and wondered,
Is it worth it?

And then I sat down, wrote the letter again, this time pouring out even more gentleness:

I didnt understand anything then. I didnt see your fear after losing your job, after all those years of security. You must have been terrified. I remember you dreaming aloud of what our retirement might be like. I could have helped you chase those dreams, instead of pushing you into taxi-driving, which you never wanted.

I remember the night I destroyed your love letters and burnt the canvases of your paintings. I was angry that you shut yourself away, spending our money on paints or writing me poems. I should have helped you sell your paintings they were wonderful. I was scared too. I only felt safe while you were working at the plant. I never saw your suffering.

Please, forgive me, my darling. I promise, from today, things will be different. I love you.

Your wife

When my husband came home from work, he immediately sensed something had shifted. The smell of food, candles on the table, his favourite music, and the note waiting on the sofa.

I stepped out from the kitchen, carrying the steaming meal, and saw him crying like a little boy. I set the dish down and hugged him. There was no need for words. We wept together. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to our bed. We made love with the same passion as we had on our very first night.

We shared dinner, laughing over fond memories from our children’s younger days.

Later, as I tidied the kitchen, I spotted the angel standing in the garden. I ran outside, tears streaming down my face,

Please, angel, let me stay for a little longer. I want to help him return to painting, I want to rebuild all that I ruined. I promise Ill leave with you soon but first, let him find happiness.

The angel replied,
Theres no need for me to take you anywhere. Youre already in heaven. Youve earned it. Just remember the hell you lived in and that heaven is often closer than you think.

At that moment, I heard my husbands voice calling from inside:
Darling, its cold, come to bed. Tomorrow is a new day.

I thought to myself,
Yes thank goodness, tomorrow is a new day.

A moment to reflect:
You, who grumble about what you lack have you thought about how much you give?
You, who suffer do you see how much pain you cause others?
You, who accuse others of ignorance have you judged your own knowledge?
You, who condemn mistakes do you notice your own?
You, who claim honesty with friends are you honest with yourself?
You, who complain of scarcity do you recognise how much you already have?
You, who criticise the world have you done anything to make it better?
You, who dream of heaven what have you done to lessen the hell around you?
You, who claim to be humble are you truly humble?
You, who denounce evil do you spread goodness?
You, who moan about apathy do you show love yourself?
You, who fear poverty do you make the most of what you have?
You, who are wounded by thorns do you plant roses?
You, who dread darkness do you light a candle?
You, who are focused only on yourself do you care for others?
You, who feel so small do you try to grow?
You, who fear loneliness do you offer your company to others?
You, who fear sickness do you look after yourself?
You, who long for peace do you fight against conflict?