З життя
A Life Put Right: “Lydia, I forbid you from speaking to your sister or her family! They have their own life, we have ours. Did you ring Natalie again? Complain about me? I warned you—don’t blame me if anything happens,” snapped Brian, gripping my shoulder painfully. As always, I quietly retreated to the kitchen, blinking back bitter tears. No, I’d never complained to my sister about the life I shared with my husband. We just talked. We still had elderly parents; there was always something to discuss. That infuriated Brian. He despised my sister Natalie—her family enjoyed a peace and comfort that ours never had. When I married Brian, I was the happiest girl in England. Swept up in a whirlwind romance, I hadn’t given a thought to his lack of height—Brian barely reached my chin—or to his mother, who turned up at the wedding barely able to stand. I later learned she was a longtime alcoholic. Blinded by love, I ignored the warnings. But a year into our marriage, I began to question my happiness. Brian drank heavily, staggering in late and reeking of cheap whisky. Then came the string of affairs. I worked as a nurse at the local hospital. My pay was measly. Brian preferred the company of the pub over supporting his wife. I stopped dreaming of children. Instead, I doted on our pedigree cat. I wanted no child with an alcoholic for a father, even if I still loved Brian. “You’re a fool, Lydia! Look at all the men watching you while you waste yourself on that little tyrant. What do you see in him? You’re always covered in bruises from his fists. Think no one notices those black eyes under all that concealer? Leave him before he actually kills you, silly girl,” scolded my colleague and friend. Indeed, Brian often unleashed his anger in violence. Once he beat me so badly I couldn’t manage my hospital shift. Worse: he locked me in the flat and took the keys. After that, I grew to fear him. My soul shriveled; my heart raced whenever Brian turned his key in the lock. I thought he blamed me: for childlessness, for being a poor wife, for everything. So I never resisted when he lashed out. Why did I still love him? I remembered his mother’s advice, witch-like as she was: “Listen to your husband, love him with all your heart, forget your family and so-called friends. They’ll never do you any good.” So I left behind my friends, my family, and surrendered to Brian’s will. But I liked Brian’s melodramatic apologies. On his knees, kissing my feet, covering our bed with stolen rose petals from the neighbour’s garden. I soared in those moments. Of course, I knew the roses were pilfered, sold for cheap by a drinking mate to win his own wife’s forgiveness. But I forgave, too. Perhaps I’d have spent my life as Brian’s doormat, always picking up the pieces, had fate not intervened… “Let go of Brian, I’ve had a son with him. You’re barren; it’s time you stepped aside for our child’s sake,” demanded an impertinent stranger at my door. “I don’t believe you! Leave now, before things get worse!” I shouted back. Brian denied everything, but I pressed on: “Swear he’s not your son!” I knew he couldn’t. Brian was silent. I understood everything then. “Lydia, I’ve never seen you smile. Is everything alright?” asked Mr. Harrison, our hospital’s consultant, who I’d assumed barely noticed me. “Everything’s fine,” I replied shyly. “It’s wonderful, when people’s lives are in order. That’s when life is beautiful,” he said mysteriously. Mr. Harrison had once divorced his cheating wife and now lived alone, with a grown daughter. He was unremarkable: glasses, balding, short. Still, his aftershave sent a shiver through me; I found him strangely irresistible. After his kind words, I realised my life was chaos. Time was marching on, and I was running out of it to sort myself out. I left Brian and returned to my parents. Mum was astonished: “Lydia, what happened? Did he kick you out?” “No, Mum, I’ll explain later.” I was too ashamed to describe my married life. Later Brian’s mother rang, cursing and blaming me. But I had already begun to breathe again, thank goodness to Mr. Harrison. Brian raged, stalked me, threatened me. But he didn’t know I was finally free. “Brian, stop wasting your time on me—your son needs you. I’ve turned the page. Goodbye,” I told him calmly. I returned to Natalie and my parents. I became myself again—not a puppet. “Goodness, Lydia, I barely recognise you! You’re glowing, happier,” my friend exclaimed. Then Mr. Harrison proposed: “Lydia, let’s get married. I give you my word—you won’t regret it. Just call me by my first name at home; save the formal titles for work.” “But do you love me, Harrison?” “Oh, forgive me—I forget women need to hear it. I believe I do. But actions matter more.” “I do, Harrison. I know I’ll love you for certain,” I replied, overjoyed. Ten years passed. Every day, Harrison showed me his gentle devotion. No empty promises or theatrical apologies like Brian. He cared for and cherished me, always surprising me with his generosity. We never had children together—perhaps I was truly “barren.” But Harrison never blamed me, not once. “Lydia, it seems it’s our destiny to just have each other. That’s more than enough for me,” he reassured me whenever I mourned lost motherhood. Harrison’s daughter gave us our darling granddaughter, Sarah, who became the centre of our world. As for Brian, he drank himself to death before fifty. His mother still scowls at me across the market, but her anger no longer reaches me. I almost pity her. And as for us—Harrison and me? Our life is in order now. Life is wonderful.
LIFE IN ORDER
“Linda, I forbid you from speaking to your sister and her family! Theyve got their own lives, and weve got ours. Have you called Abigail again? Complained about me? I warned you. Dont blame me if something happens,” Martin snapped, his grip tightening painfully on my shoulder.
As Id done so many times before, I retreated in silence to the kitchen, swallowing the rising lump in my throat. Tears stung my eyes. No, I had never complained to my sister about my married life. We just spoke, that’s all. We had elderly parents to care for, and there was always something to discuss. It all infuriated Martin. He hated my sister Abigail and everything about her family. There was a peacefulness and a sense of comfort in her homeeverything mine so sorely lacked.
When I married Martin, I thought I was the luckiest woman alive. Hed swept me off my feet in a whirlwind of romance. I never cared that he was much shorter than me, and I thought nothing of his mother turning up at our wedding nearly falling over from drink. Later, I found out she was an old hand at that.
Enchanted by love, I overlooked every warning sign. But after a year of marriage, I began to doubt my fairy-tale. Martin drank heavily and would stagger home, drunk as a lord. Then came the string of affairs. I worked as a nurse at the local hospital, my wages barely enough to get by. Martin preferred long nights with his drinking mates.
Providing for his wife never crossed his mind. At first, Id dreamed of having children together, but now I poured all my affection into caring for our pedigree cat. The thought of bringing children into a family with an alcoholic father became unbearable. Yet, I still loved Martin.
“You’re a fool, Linda! Look at the men around youthey practically trip over themselves for a glance. Yet here you are, blinkered, stuck on your little tyrant! What do you even see in him? You walk around constantly bruised from his temper. Think nobody notices the black eyes under your makeup? Leave him before he does worse,” my friend and colleague, Claire, would say.
Martin often let his anger run wild, and his hands even wilder. Once, he beat me so badly I couldnt make my shift. He even locked me in the flat and took the keys away.
From that day, I lived in constant dread. My heart would hammer and hands tremble whenever I heard his key in the lock. I felt he punished me for not giving him a child, for being a poor wife, for everythingor nothing at all. Thats why I never fought back when he lashed out, shouted, or insulted me. Why did I still love him?
His mother, who looked every bit the witch, would say,
“Linda, listen to your husband, love him with all your heart, and forget your family and your silly friends, theyll only lead you astray.”
And so I pushed away old friends, saw little of my family, and fully surrendered myself to Martins grip.
Oddly, I basked in his limp apologies afterwards, when hed kneel and beg forgiveness, kissing my feet. The reconciliation felt intoxicating, almost magical. Hed scatter our bed with rose petalsof course, I knew he pinched them from his mates garden, whose wife grew them with devotion, only for him to trade them for another round at the pub and bring them home as a peace offering. We wives would swoon for roses and forgive our drunkards once more.
Had fate not intervened, I might have spent my whole life slavishly chained to Martin, forever trying to patch together the broken pieces of my imaginary heaven. But then, an unexpected encounter changed everything.
“Let him go, Linda. Ive got a son by him. Youre barren,” declared a complete stranger one evening, blunt and business-like.
“I dont believe you! Leave before I call the police,” I snapped back, unable to process her words.
Martin tried to deny it, as best he could.
“Swear its not your child!” I demanded, already knowing the answer.
Martins silence told me everything I needed to know.
“Linda, Ive never seen you happy. Is something wrong?” Our hospitals chief, Dr. Graham Evans, seemed to have never noticed me before, yet suddenly took a keen interest.
“Everythings fine,” I mumbled, embarrassed to be noticed by my boss.
“Its good when everythings alright in someones life. Thats when life truly is wonderful,” he replied, his words unraveling something deep inside me.
Dr. Evans was a shy, balding man in his forties; not much to look at, glasses and all. Hed lived alone since his wife left him, rumour had it, over her infidelitya detail I knew only in passing. But whenever he came near, an inexplicable longing swelled inside me. Something in his aftershavemasculine and alluringwas utterly disarming. I found it almost impossible to escape the magnetism.
His words”Its good when all is in order”echoed endlessly in my mind. My life felt an utter shambles, spiralling out of control, while the years pressed upon me with no pause button to regroup.
Eventually, I left Martin, moving in with my parents. Mum was taken aback.
“Linda, whats happened? Did your husband throw you out?”
“No, Mum. Ill explain everything, just not now,” I said, ashamed to admit the reality of my marriage.
Later, Martins mother phoned, raging and cursing, blaming me for everything. But Id already taken my first free breath, standing tall and finally feeling like myself. I owed Dr. Evans so much for opening my eyes.
Martin raved, threatened, and stalked me, but he didnt realise hed lost whatever power he once held.
“Martin, please don’t waste any more time on me. Focus on your son. He needs you. Ive turned the final page on our story. Goodbye.” The words, delivered so calmly, shocked even me.
At long last, I reconnected with my sister Abigail and my parents. I finally became myself again, no longer a puppet on someone’s strings.
“Linda, youve changed so muchyou look happier, lighter, radiant. Like a new bride!” my friend Claire remarked.
And soon, Dr. EvansGrahamproposed.
“Linda, will you marry me? I swear you wont regret it. Just on one conditioncall me Graham, not Dr. Evans, not at home.”
“Do you really love me, Graham?” I asked, surprised by the offer.
“Ah, forgive meI sometimes forget women like to hear it out loud. I love you, Linda. But I put more trust in actions,” Graham said, kissing my hand.
“Id love to marry you, Graham. I think I could love you,” I replied, overwhelmed with happiness.
Ten years flashed by.
Graham proved his love for me every single day. He never made empty promises or grand apologies like Martin; he cared for me, supported and cherished me quietly but steadfastly. He would surprise me with the simplest, most genuine gesturesa true gentleman. We never had children of our own; it seemed I really was barren. But Graham never once reproached me, never uttered a hurtful word.
“Linda, it looks like its meant to be just the two of us. Thats all I need,” hed say with a gentle smile whenever he saw me struggle with the emptiness.
His daughter blessed us with a granddaughter, sweet Emily. She became the delight and light of our lives.
As for Martin, he drank himself to an early grave before he even turned fifty. I sometimes still spot his mother at the market, shooting daggers with her eyes, but her fury simply drifts away. I only pity her now.
And so, life with Graham is calm and full. All is in order. Life is beautiful.
