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Annie, come get her! I can’t take it anymore! I can’t even stand to touch her!

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Sarah, please take her! I simply cant do it any longer. Even touching her is unbearable for me!
Lizzies hands trembled. The baby in her arms cried herself hoarse.
Sarah took her little niece gently, nodding.
All right, but just so youre certain you wont have second thoughts?
No, why would I? Just take her. I dont want her.

The baby had only been in the world for a month. From the very start of Lizzies pregnancy, Sarah knew something was amiss. She had chalked up Lizzies mood swings to late pregnancy woes. Her sister had been a widow for over seven years, her older children grown and with families of their own. A spontaneous trip to Brighton, a fleeting romance, and then entirely unexpected another child. Lizzie had never been the impulsive sort. At first, it seemed the child would bring her joy. But then Sarah noticed how her sister would, one moment, buy heaps of baby clothes and search in earnest for a pram, and the next, she would become withdrawn for days, hiding herself away as if behind a stone wall.

Right before the birth, Lizzie suddenly shunned her family. Shed stopped calling their mother, her sister, her children. When panic set in, Sarah tracked her down at the maternity hospital, where Lizzie was about to sign the papers relinquishing her baby.
Lizzie, whats going on? Why are you doing this?
I dont know myself. I feel nothing. Shes a stranger to me.
What do you mean, a stranger? Shes your baby!
Not mine. She never will be. Lizzie turned her face to the wall.

Sarah did what she could she brought their mother along as reinforcement. Lizzie agreed to take the baby home. Their mother insisted, under the pretense of helping out, that Lizzie and the child move in with her for a while. In truth, the family hoped to watch over Lizzie. She went through the motions, cared for the infant on autopilot, never staying at her side longer than absolutely necessary. The babys name was chosen by her grandmother, but it was her aunt who carried her throughout the day.

Lizzie, let me take her. Ill raise her as my own, but soon enough who will she call mum?
I dont care, so long as its not me.

Within a week, the paperwork was done and Sarah became her nieces legal guardian. Lizzie left town.

Little Emily grew into a sprightly, cheerful child. She walked early, spoke early and called Sarah mum.

Twelve years passed.

Mum, I got three As today! And tomorrow were off to the pictures with our class, Emilys voice chimed through the flat.
Is it her?
Yes, Lizzie, its her. Please, I beg you
Hello! Im Emily. And you are?

In the doorway stood a tall girl with large eyes, glancing in confusion from the woman at the table, to the pale-faced woman at the window.
Im Im Lizzie. Im your mother, Emily.
I told you Sarah said, turning to her daughter. Emily! Ill explain everything!
No need, Mum. Lets hear her out. So? You say youre my mum. And so?
Ive come for you. I want you to live with me.
Why?
Youre my daughter.
No, Im not. I have one mother, right here I need no other. I hope this is the first and last time I see you. Emily turned and left the kitchen.

Sarah collapsed in a chair, exhausted.
Whats your aim in all this?
Not much yet. But I will get through. If I must, Ill do it even through the courts.
Why, Lizzie? You gave her up. You wanted nothing to do with her. No one ever understood why. And now, after all these years, you think shell simply run into your arms? Im sorry, but go see Mum. Well talk later I need to be with my daughter.
My niece, you mean! Lizzie retorted as she stood up.

Sarah sighed. She closed the door and went to Emilys room.
Darling
Mum, wait. Before you say a word, listen to me. I know everything. Remember last year, when we helped Gran with the spring cleaning? I found the guardianship papers. At first I was furious you never told me. Then I wanted to meet her, to ask why. But, in the end, I realised none of that matters. Youre my mum. I want no other.
Emily, sweetheart! I could never let you go.
I dont want to go and I wont, Emily laughed. Remember my friend Will from school? Ring his mum shes a solicitor, specialises in family law.
Youre too clever by half! But dont be in too much of a hurry to grow up. Im still here, big and bossy, and Im still your mum for now at least. Sarah laughed and pulled her daughter close. Of course well sort things out.

There followed weeks of anxiety and proceedings, but the court left things as they were. Emilys wishes were taken seriously she steadfastly refused to leave her adoptive mother or acknowledge Lizzie.

The sisters stood outside the courthouse.
So, thats it. Finally, this nightmare is over, Sarah breathed with relief. What now?
Ill go, Sarah. I wont stand in your way. Ill help her, mind, dont refuse it. Ive set aside money for Emily all the documents are with Mum.
Why did you do all this, Lizzie? Why did you give her up in the first place?
There was no romance, Sarah. Nothing pleasant. It was a dark park, late at night.

Sarah gasped, stricken.
You never said a word all these years?
There was nothing to fix. Thats why I kept quiet. At first, I didnt even realise I was expecting I thought I was heading for the menopause early. But then, it was too late. Dont tell Emily. Let her not know. Its not her burden. Maybe one day shell forgive me.

Sarah pulled her sister close and together they looked across towards their mother, where Emily stood in the sunlight.
Sometimes, the most frightening things can turn out to be the most wonderful, Lizzie said, wiping her eyes and for the first time in years, Sarah saw her sister smile.

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