З життя
Auntie Comes to Visit, the Wife in Tears
The Unexpected Visit, the Weeping Wife
John was jolted awake by the doorbell. Beside him, his wife stirred. He brushed his hand gently over her shoulder.
“Love, stay in bed. I’ll get it,” he whispered, shuffling to the door. “Who on earth could it be at this hour?”
When he opened the door, he found his Aunt Mabel on the doorstep, clutching a large suitcase. Her husband, Uncle Albert, shuffled awkwardly behind her.
“My dear nephew!” Aunt Mabel exclaimed. “Arent you happy to see me? Come, give your aunt a proper hug!” She seized Johns arm as if she meant to smother him in her embrace.
“So much for peace and quiet,” John thought grimly, hauling her luggage down the hallway.
The rest of the night descended into chaos. Aunt Mabel refused to sleep on the sofa, declaring it far too uncomfortable. Then she suggested John might tuck her in himself.
His wife, Margaret, stood dumbfounded the entire time. Barely an hour had passed since the aunts arrival, and already the flat had been turned upside down. Eventually, everyone retiredAunt Mabel and Uncle Albert took the bed, while John and Margaret squeezed onto the sofa.
“How long do you think theyll stay?” Margaret whispered the next morning, sliding a plate of breakfast toward him.
“Not sure. Ill ask when I get back from work.”
Margaret listened irritably to the snoring from the bedroom before muttering, “John, they frighten me. Cant you come home early today?”
“Ill try,” he promised, then hurried out.
When he returned that evening, the table was set for a proper dinner.
“Come in, dear boy, were celebrating a family reunion!” Aunt Mabel called from the kitchen.
Margaret pulled him close. “Im so glad youre back,” she murmured.
As they sat down to eat, John ventured, “Auntie, how long have you been planning this visit?”
“Trying to kick us out already? Listen, if were not welcome” She shot a glare at Uncle Albert.
“Auntie, what are you on about? You can stay as long as you like!” John said, baffled.
“We *will* stay, Johnforever, in fact. Weve sold our flat. Youre all the family we have left. You wouldnt toss your own aunt onto the street, would you? Surely you can bear with us for the time weve got left?” She dabbed at an imaginary tear.
Johns jaw dropped. Margaret burst into tears and fled.
An awkward silence settled over the room. Uncle Albert calmly finished his salad.
“Why must you always stay silent?” Aunt Mabel snapped at him. “All you do is eat. Cant you at least say something?”
“Entirely agree with you, dear,” Uncle Albert replied.
“Youre utterly useless!” Aunt Mabel huffed. “Its always the sameI make all the decisions, and he just nods along. What sort of man is that?” She turned to John. “Are you happy, nephew?”
“Youre welcome here as long as you wish!” John saidjust as Margarets sobs echoed from the hallway.
John picked at his plate without enthusiasm. His uncle chewed so loudly it seemed to rattle his ears.
When Aunt Mabel finally pushed her plate away, she sighed. “Im stuffed. John, I was only teasing. Were actually here for a hospital check-upjust three days. And you handled it wonderfully. You were scared stiff, but you hid it well. You remembered your family. When Im gone, youll inherit my flatweve no children of our own. Youre my only heir.”
John had never felt such relief. “May you live a hundred years, Auntie,” he said cheerfully.
But in the days that followed, Margaret became a weeping mess, unable to please Aunt Mabelthe soup was bland, the chops too tough, the laundry done wrong, the floors improperly scrubbed.
As they finally said their goodbyes, Aunt Mabel whispered to John, “However did you marry such a crybaby? Is she pregnant? Shes always in floods of tears!”
The moment the door clicked shut, Margaret danced with joy. “Perhaps theyll never come back,” she said hopefully.
“I wouldnt count on it. I think Auntie rather liked it here.”
“I cant bear it!” she wailed.
The doorbell rang againinsistently.
“Not *again*?” John leapt up. Then he laughed. “Oh, its just the alarm!” A wonderful day awaited him.
