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Bittersweet Happiness – “What’s wrong with that young lady? She’s a good girl. Modest, neat, a hardworking student. She loves you,” Helen Edwards chastised her son. “Mum, I’ll handle it…” Denis clearly ended the pointless conversation. Helen left the room. “He’ll handle it… How many girls has he turned away… Nearly forty, and soon no one will do. Nothing’s ever right for him…” she thought with a heavy sigh. “Son, dinner’s ready,” Helen called from the kitchen. Denis responded instantly, tucking into his mother’s homemade stew. “Thank you, Mum. Delicious, as always.” “You should be saying that to your wife, not me,” Helen couldn’t let it go. “Mum…” Denis drank his compote and prepared to leave. “Wait, son. Do you know, I once visited a fortune-teller? She took one look at me and said: ‘Your son will have happiness, but it will be bittersweet.’” “Oh, Mum, don’t believe such things,” Denis grinned. …Through the years, different women—some loved, some not—came and went in Denis’s life. …Inna was smart, cultured, shockingly wise for her age. She often gave sound advice to the nine-years-older Denis. At first he liked this, but then he began to see Inna more as a mentor than anything else. Everything felt colourless. They split up. Polly had an eight-year-old son. Try as he might, Denis couldn’t get through to the boy, though he loved Polly. She was beautiful, but too headstrong. Whenever they quarrelled, he’d try to patch things up with gifts. The arguments felt senseless. Something was always missing—maybe peace and stability. Vera was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman. Denis almost married her. She was decent, pure, balanced—he felt like he had to “wear kid gloves” just to speak to her. He even moved into her flat. He was ready to start a family. But… He came home unexpectedly from a work trip to find Vera in bed with her old school friend. Classic… After that, Denis moved back in with his mum. Enough romance, he decided. “I’ll be a bachelor—a solid family of one,” he joked to his mum. Helen would shrug and sigh: “Will you ever find your one, son?” But fate had its own plan. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Denis was travelling for work, claimed his usual bottom bunk in the train carriage. A woman entered: “Excuse me, would you mind swapping? Can I have your lower bunk? Please.” “No trouble,” Denis replied. He looked her over—nothing remarkable. Yet his heart skipped. “Maybe she’s the one…” He clambered onto the top bunk and dozed off… “Glad you’re awake! Come, have some tea,” the stranger cooed. Denis climbed down and they started talking. “Larissa,” she introduced herself. “Denis. Nice to meet you, Larissa.” They talked throughout the evening. Denis felt instantly at ease. He didn’t try to impress her; everything just flowed, as if he’d known her forever. They exchanged numbers, just in case… A couple of weeks later, he couldn’t resist calling her. One thing led to another… Dates, kisses, promises… Denis couldn’t imagine his life without Larissa. At forty years old! He’d always let previous girlfriends go easily—but not this one… He wanted to lose himself entirely in her life. Larissa surrounded Denis with love, care, and understanding. Three months in, he offered his heart and hand. “Denis, I’m seven years older than you. I have three children. We live in a council flat,” Larissa admitted. She never lied. “I know, Lara. I’ve met your kids—you’ll all move in with me. It’s sorted. I love every inch of you. You’re my last and only,” said Denis, kissing her tenderly. “All right, Denis, let’s give it a try,” murmured a shy Larissa. “No, not try, Lara. We’ll be together. For good,” Denis squeezed her hand. “Do you hear me? Forever.” When Helen learned his plans, all she could say was: “You’ve really outdone yourself this time… The plainest girl of them all…” …Nine months later, their daughter was born—a child with Down’s syndrome. Denis felt both joy and worry for Larissa. Would she cope? Having a child with special needs is never easy. …Today, Denis and Larissa’s daughter is eight. The whole family adores her. Denis worships Larissa. Bittersweet, but happiness…

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BITTERSWEET JOY
What is it you dont like about this young lady? Shes a lovely girl. Polite, tidy, bright enough at schoolshe cares for you, my mother, Margaret, looked at me reproachfully over her reading glasses.

Ill figure it out, Mum I put an end to another pointless conversation.

She left the room, shaking her head.
Hell figure it out How many women has he been through now Nearly forty years old. Soon enough he wont be interested in anyone. Nothing seems to suit him, nothing ever quite right she muttered, letting out a heavy sigh.

Dinners on, love, Mum called from the kitchen.

I didnt hesitate. Sat down and set to wolfing down her beef stew.
Cheers, Mum. Tastes just as good as ever.

You know, you ought to say that to your future wife, not just to me, she still couldnt let it go.

Mum I finished my cup of tea and got ready to leave.

Wait, son. I just remembered There was this fortune teller I went to years ago. First thing she said to me, just as I walked in was:
Your boy will have bittersweet happiness.

Mum, you know you shouldnt believe all that, I grinned.

Throughout my life, Id had my share of relationships, some meaningful, most less so.

Gemma was clever, bookish, and wise beyond her years. She was nine years older and always had something sensible to offer as advice.
At first, I liked it, but soon I began to see her as more of an older mate. Nothing more.
It all got a bit dull. We parted ways.

Emily, on the other hand, had a lad of eight. I just couldnt bond with him, even though I did care for Emily. She was beautiful, but her stubborn streakimpossible. We bickered over silly things. Almost every row ended with me buying her flowers or some gift to soften the mood. Still, something was missing. Probably a sense of peace, or certainty.

Sophie, I was certain, was perfect. The sort any man would hope for
I nearly married her. She seemed so right, so honest, so pure. With her you had to mind your manners, tread carefully.
Id even moved into her flat. Was ready for kidsmore than one.

But then
I came back early from a work trip, and there she was in bed with an old schoolmate. Textbook heartbreak.

I moved back home with Mum. Decided Id had quite enough of chasing romance.
Ill date myself, seems the best waystrongest sort of family, just yourself, Id laugh, wryly.

Mum would shrug and sigh,
Surely, son, your luck will change Surely youll find the one.

And fate did comebut not the way I thought.

Next business trip, settled in for the night on the bottom berth of the sleeper train. In walked a woman,
Excuse me, do you mind swapping? Could I have your lower bunk, please?

No problem at all, I replied, slightly bemused.

I had a good look at hernot especially remarkable. Yet my heart skipped a beat. Could she be the one?

I climbed up, dozed off.

Good thing youre awake! Please, join me. Have a bite, she said softly.

I clambered down. We struck up a conversation.

Natalie, she introduced herself.

James. Nice to meet you, Natalie.

We talked well into the evening. I felt perfectly at ease; didnt need to show off, didnt force a thing. It seemed like Id always known her.

We swapped numbersjust in case.

A fortnight passed. I was longing to hear her voice. Thats how it began

Meetings, kisses, promises

By forty, I couldnt imagine life without her.

Before, I could always walk awaycut ties easily. With Natalie everything felt different. No borders, no boundariesjust falling in.

She wrapped me in love, care, understandinggentle and sincere.

After three months, I asked for her hand, putting my heart on the table.

James, Im seven years older than you. Ive got three children. We live in a council house, Natalie confessed, honest as ever.

And youre a widow. Nat, I know. I met your kids. Youll all move in with me. Its settled. I love every bit of you. Youre my accidental and my last love, I kissed her.

All right, Jameslets give this a try, she blushed.

No, Nat. Not give it a trylets just be together, always, I took her hand, You hear? Always.

When Mum heard my plans, all she could utter was,
Well, youve chosen One of the plainest of the plain ones

Nine months later, our daughter was borna sunshine child, they call her.

I was elated, but worried for Natalie. Raising a daughter with special needsendlessly complicated.

Now, our little girl is eight. The whole family dotes on her.

I adore Natalie.
Bittersweet, but happinessnonetheless.

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