З життя
Came Home Early: A Heavily Pregnant Wife Surprises Her Husband, Only to Be Left Waiting in the Street with Heavy Bags While He Scrambles to Clean the Flat for the “Perfect” Welcome
I got home earlier than planned.
Are you at the bus stop? My husbands voice shot up unexpectedly high. Right now? But you didnt tell me! We agreed on Thursday!
I wanted to surprise you, I frowned, annoyed. Sam, arent you happy? Im absolutely knackered. Just come out!
Wait! he suddenly yelled. Dont come here. I mean, do, but Listen, the house is completely empty. I finished off everything yesterday. How about this: nip into the 24-hour shop, you know, the one round the corner, and grab some meatproper beef?
My heavy bag was digging painfully into my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but let out a little cry. The sharp pain that had become my constant companion these past two months shot down my back. Carefully, I put my bags down on the battered pavement by the bus stop.
I pressed my palm to my belly and let out a slow breath. The little one inside wriggled grumpily. Six months in, and honestly, it was nothing to joke aboutespecially when Id decided to pop back from my parents, three days ahead of schedule, just to give Sam a surprise.
I missed him so much that the last hundred miles on the coach had me counting every lamp post, wishing I’d be home sooner.
Wonder what Sams up to? Bet he doesnt have a clue Im actually here, barely ten minutes away from our front door.
The walk from the bus stop felt like it would never end. My bags were stuffed fullMum had packed them with jars of jam, homemade pie, fat applesthe whole lot. It felt like I was hauling bricks.
After about fifty metres, it was painfully clear it was hopeless. My back might actually break. I fished my phone out and rang Sam.
Hi, Sammy, I whispered hopefully when he picked up.
Jess? Whats happened? Are you alright? He sounded half panicked.
Theres nothing wrong, silly. Im back! Standing at the stop right by our flat. Please come meet methese bags are impossible, Mums packed enough for an army
There was a weird pauselong enough for me to check my phone to make sure it hadnt cut me off.
Are you really at the stop? His pitch jumped again. Right now? But why didnt you say? We agreed on Thursday!
I wanted to give you a surprise. My brow knitted again. Arent you pleased? Im exhausted. Just come out.
Hang on! He actually shouted. Dont come up yet. Well I mean, you can, butJess, love, theres nothing in. I finished the last of the food yesterday. How about popping by the 24-hour shop, the one at the end of the street, for a bit of beef?
Im taking a day off work to cook us a proper lunch, you know, welcome you home right. Found a recipe and everything. So if you could?
What do you mean, Sam? Are you even listening? My voice was sharp now. Im six months pregnant, Im stood out on the street with huge bags, absolutely done in. My backs gone. What do you mean, go and buy beef? Theres potatoes at home. Eggs too. Come down, I need to eat and get my feet up.
No, Jess, youre not getting it he talked even faster, talking over me, I just want everything perfect! Youre so close, it wouldnt hurt to grab some beef and maybe some fresh potatoesthe ones weve got at home have shrivelled up. Maybe just ask someone for help with the bags or just go slowly, bit by bit Please? Its for us, love. While youre doing that, Ill get everything ready here!
I stared at the raw welts on my hands where the bag handles had cut in, and something bitter and hot flared up in my chest.
Sam, are you serious? My voice wobbled. You want meyour pregnant wifeto slog round Sainsburys for beef because you suddenly fancy making a roast? You cant just come downstairs?
Ive started er prepping! If I go now, Ill ruin it. Please, Jess, for me. Ive been waiting for you. Just get about eight hundred grams of beef and a small net of potatoes. Ill be here, sorting things out!
And with that, he hung up. I stood there staring at my phone screen, completely stunned. For a moment, I genuinely wanted to burst into tears there and then, under the unforgiving white glow of the streetlamp. Instead of a warm hug and a comfy bed, I was off to the meat aisle.
What if he really is up to something amazing? The silly thought popped in, but I heaved the bags up and hobbled to the shop regardless.
***
Wheeling a trolley up and down fluorescent aisles, the checkout lady threw me these pitying, tired looks.
The beef felt like a car battery. The potatoes mightve been cement. By the time I staggered outside, my hands were numb claws.
My phone rang again.
Did you get it? Sams voice was suddenly bright.
I did, I sort of growled. Im right outside the building, open up, please.
Wait! He practically squeaked. Dont come up! Sit on the bench out front, ten minutes, tops.
Youre joking, right? I shouted, not caring who heard. Sam! I might legit give birth out here if you dont hurry up! My ankles are the size of marrows. What do you mean, ten minutes? I cant even stand!
The surprise isn’t ready! he insisted from the phone. If you come up now, its pointless. Just sit and get some fresh air. Five minutes, I promise! Putting the phone down or I wont manage!
He hung up before I could say a word.
So I collapsed onto the bench outside our flat. The bags tipped over beside me with a noisy crash.
I honestly wanted to lob the wretched bag of beef straight at our third-floor window.
Ten minutes ticked by. Then twenty. I sat there, hugging my swollen belly, fuming quietly.
Was he setting up a sea of flowers? Breakfast in bed? A violinist? Whatever it was, nothing was worth leaving mesix months pregnantsat shivering outside after a sleep-deprived night.
At minute thirty-five, the front door burst open.
Sam shot out. He looked totally manichis T-shirt was inside out, sweat was beading on his forehead, and his hair was sticking up at all angles.
There you are! he said, forcing a grin, grabbing my bags. Why so grumpy? Lovely weather, isnter, oh. Come on, lets get you up.
Youre drenched in sweat, I frowned, stumbling to my feet, gripping the railing. And you smell like industrial cleaner.
Just wait till you see! he bounced ahead to the lift, barely containing himself.
We went upstairs. He flung the door open, standing back like he was stage-managing a big reveal.
I stepped into the hallway, hit with this choking wave of bleach and some horrible air freshener labelled Ocean Breeze. As I poked my head through the rooms, it hit methe flat was spotless. Like, weirdly empty. The clothes that usually lived on the back of chairs had vanished. The carpet was still wet from being hoovered, and even my little ornaments were packed away in a sad corner.
Well? Sam beamed, practically glowing. Do you like it? Surprise!
I turned to face him slowly.
Thats it? I asked quietly.
What do you mean, thats it? Sam looked shocked, like Id just trampled through his flowerbed. Jess, look! Ive been grafting three hours straight! I washed every flooreven under the sofa! Did all the dishes. Even cleaned the loo till it sparkled. I wanted you to just come back to a spotless home, not have to lift a finger. I was running around while you er, were at the shops.
A lump rose in my throat.
Let me get this straight I choked, tears threatening. You made me wait outside, sent me to Tescos looking like a mule, just to mop the kitchen floor? You couldnt meet me simply because you were cleaning?
Well, yes! Sam threw his hands up. I only wanted the best! Youre always saying I never help, so I wanted to prove myself. But you showed up out of the blueI panicked! I had to stall you to finish. And here you are, acting like I spat in your porridge instead of saying thanks.
Sam, are you completely daft? I all but screeched. I couldnt care less if you polished the bloody floors! My backs killing me, the bags were ridiculous! Im pregnant, Sam. Preg-nant. What I needed was for you to take my hand and walk me home, not wave your mop around!
Sams cheeks flushed purple. He hurled his cloth into the sink.
Oh, here we go! he shouted back. You can never be pleased, can you? Ive been down here on my knees since five this morning, just to make you happyplanning your welcome homeand all you do is moan! Did you even notice how spotless it is? Cleaner than our wedding day!
Whats the point of all this if you left me sat out there in the cold? I gasped, feeling the injustice burning. You made me wait on a bench for half an hour, Im frozen and my feet are throbbing! You had me lugging meat and potatoes up the street when I could barely walk! This isnt a surprise, Samits just cruel!
Cruel? Sam started pacing madly around the kitchen, arms waving. Sorry for not being your idea of perfect! Anyone else would be chuffed their husband tidied up and wanted to cook. But no Its always your belly, your back, your this, your that. Im tired as well, Jess! I havent slept, just thinking how to make you happy!
I covered my face, sobbing.
You just you dont get it, I hiccuped. You really dont. You swapped my wellbeing for a shiny skirting board.
Oh, its just a skirting board now? he snapped, thumping the table. Well, you ruined the surprise! If youd come on Thursday like you said, youd have walked into a lovely clean flat and everything wouldve been perfect. But noyou had to turn up in the middle of the night and now its all my fault! Youre just ungrateful, Jess. Honestly ungrateful.
He stormed from the kitchen, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
The baby wriggled inside me again. I slumped onto a chair, staring at the bag of beef hed left out. I felt completely rotten, sick and dizzy.
Ten minutes later, the kitchen door creaked open.
Still want the beef cooked? he muttered from the doorway. Or are you off your food to get back at me?
Dont bother, Sam, I said, quietly, eyes down. Just leave me alone. I want to sleep.
Suit yourself! Slam went the door again.
I got up, stumbling towards the bathroom. All I saw in the mirror was a pale, exhausted woman with dark rings under her eyes. I remembered sitting on the coach, daydreaming Sam would hug me and say, Thank God youre home.
Yeah, right.
As soon as Id washed my face and stepped back out, the argument flared up all over again. Sam had a go at me, then, in a fit of anger, lobbed the pack of beef my way.
In the end, I leftjust walked straight out with nothing but my coat. Thank goodness I hadnt changed yet. My parents took me in again.
***
His whole familyhis mum, his sister, even distant relativestried to talk me out of splitting up. And Sam kept ringing, asking me to come back.
But Id decided: I didnt want a husband like that. The divorce was a must. Whats the point of a partner who puts wiping up above the health of our baby?
