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Чужа родина

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Відчужена родина

— Мамо, що це за лист ти весь час ховаєш? — Та це з села, від дідуся, — відмахнулася вона і взялася за приготування вечері. — А що у нас є дідусь? Ти казала, що на твоїй лінії вже нікого не залишилося.

Мама на мить зупинила нарізання овочів, а потім продовжила з подвоєною швидкістю. — Ну є… і що? Багато років тому я поїхала з дому, значить тоді не потрібна була, а тепер маю все залишити і кинутися на допомогу. Вона заплакала, а я не знала, що сказати. У нашій родині не було прийнято говорити про її рідних, я лише знала, що мама приїхала до міста одразу після школи, працювала, навчалася, жила в гуртожитку, потім народилася я, а батько нас залишив ще до мого народження.

Мама тримала образу на своїх родичів. А мені й запитати було ні в кого, що сталося тоді, багато років тому. Ввечері, коли мама заснула, я тихенько забрала лист із її кімнати і прочитала – почерк був красивий, дрібний, явно не належав старій, хворій людині. Писали, що дідусь зовсім зліг, йому потрібен хороший догляд та дорогі ліки. Просили маму, якщо можливо, забути колишні образи і свою гордість, адже мова йшла про життя людини.

Підпису не було. Я глянула на адресу. Це село було зовсім недалеко від нашого міста, у подруги дача була за декілька кілометрів від нього. По шкірі пробіг холодок… я часто їздила до неї в гості, а поруч жив дідусь. Яка ж несправедливість, чому мама так вчинила з нами… Наступного дня я, як завжди, вранці зібралася до університету, тільки прихопила ще гроші та сумку зі змінним одягом і вирушила на автовокзал.

Виходячи з автобуса, я вдихнула на повні груди чисте, прозоре, як сльоза, сільське повітря, йти довелося недовго, старенька хатинка стояла за кілька метрів від зупинки. Відчинивши хвіртку, я зайшла на подвір’я. — Ви до кого? — почула я чийсь голос, під яблунею сиділа жінка років сорока, перебираючи щойно зібрані гриби. — Я до Семена Андрійовича, це мій дідусь. — А, значить, Шурчина донька, — усміхнулася вона, — ну, здрастуй! Заходь у дім, я чай поставлю, дід заснув після обіду. Трохи легше стало йому.

У хатині було затишно і пахло пирогами. Поки жінка поралась біля плити, я змогла трохи її розглянути. Вражаюче, як вона схожа на маму, такий самий погляд розкосих очей, чорне, як смола, волосся, навіть в інтонації була схожа. Я перевела погляд на портрет на стіні, це була стара поцвіла фотографія, де зображені усміхнені чоловік і жінка з двома маленькими дівчатками, дуже схожими одна на одну.

Уловивши мій погляд, жінка сказала: — Це ми з твоєю мамою і наші батьки. Я — Софія, її сестра і твоя тітка, — усміхнулася вона. — Дуже приємно. Чому я про вас жодного разу не чула? Мама наполегливо твердила, що у нас немає ніякої рідні. Вона зітхнула, сіла за стіл, і почала розливати чай по чашках. — У образі твоя мати на нас. Я народилася слабкою, часто хворіла, наша мама не виходила зі мною з лікарень, батько, зрозуміло, працював день і ніч, щоб прогодувати нас та оплатити лікування. Шура жила спочатку з бабусею, а потім часто тато залишав її у сусідки. Звісно, майже вся увага батьків приділялася мені. З дитинства вона вклала собі в голову, що її ніхто не любить і нікому вона не потрібна, навіть коли все наче й налагодилося. Отримавши атестат, Шура поїхала до міста, більше ми її не бачили…

Вона зітхнула і додала. — Ти пий чай, напевно, голодна з дороги, зараз мої прибіжать і все зметуть. Двоє діток у мене — Оленка і Льоня, сама піднімаю, давно вже питали, чи є у нас якась рідня, от уже зрадіють… Того вечора я познайомилася з дідусем і двоюрідними братом та сестрою. Всі були дуже раді мені, а я нарешті зрозуміла, що це таке, коли говорять про велику та дружню родину, зібрану за одним столом. Я залишилася в гостях ще на кілька днів, купила всі необхідні ліки.

Кілька разів дзвонила мама і просила негайно їхати додому, але я не могла залишити діда, а тітка фізично не встигала працювати і доглядати за батьком. — Ось злетиш з бюджету, хто твою освіту оплачуватиме? — кричала в телефон мама, — я для тебе все робила, ночами не спала, виховувала, а де ти зараз? З людьми, які й пальцем не вдарили, щоб щось для нас зробити.

— Мам, про що ти? Ти адже навіть адресу свою не повідомляла п’ятнадцять років… чужі, рідні… Він насамперед мій дід. А вже події минулого часу пора б і забути… Йому потрібні догляд і турбота. Якщо ти не їдеш, з ним буду я. До речі, у тебе чудова сестра і племінники. Даремно ти так, мам… Вона кидала слухавку, злилася, набирала знову, але наші розмови ні до чого не приводили. Через тиждень я повернулася до міста, потрібно було продовжувати навчання, у мене був випускний курс, а серце було не на місці. Гроші, які вдавалося заробити розклеюванням оголошень і кількома годинами репетиторства на тиждень, я надсилала в село. Але це, звісно, були сущі дрібниці…

Відносини з мамою нагадували натягнуті струни, якось вона навіть умудрилася сховати мій паспорт, щоб я залишилася в місті на святкові вихідні, замість поїздки до села. Так пройшов рік, у метушні, клопотах та постійних сварках і скандалах. Отримавши диплом на руки, я тут же зібрала речі та поїхала. У селі тітка походатайствувала для мене про роботу в школі, життя пішло своєю чергою. Дідусь вже встав на ноги і здійснював невеликі прогулянки по саду, він був мені дуже радий. Але очі залишалися сумними, він чекав доньку…

Вересень наповнив моє життя метушнею та приємними клопотами, мені дали першокласників, я їх так полюбила, що кожного дня бігла на роботу, немов на свято. А тут краєм ока стала помічати, що я подобаюсь нашому вчителю історії, теж нещодавньому випускнику міського вишу, і що його теж у село занесло, думала я, зазвичай, усі в місто рвуться. А тут…

— Аню, ти б не списувала Олексея з рахунків, — шепотіла колись тітка, — хлопець хороший, руки з правильного місця ростуть, он який будинок вибудував. А те, що в місті не залишився, так бабуся у нього тут, одна одиниченька, сам він сирота, ось і живуть. Незабаром Олексій запросив мене на побачення, так і закрутився наш роман. Він став вхожим у наш дім, дідусь схвалив мій вибір, а коли Льоша зробив мені пропозицію, благословив нас. Весілля було призначено на кінець квітня, я заздалегідь повідомила мамі про це листом. Відповіді не було, мені було дуже прикро, що в такий важливий день її не буде поруч зі мною…

Напередодні дня весілля, коли ми з тіткою і двома моїми подругами поралися на кухні, готуючись до майбутнього святкування, в двері тихо постукали… Я кинулася відчиняти. На порозі стояла мама. Побачивши мене, вона заплакала. — Я… я зовсім ненадовго, от приїхала привітати тебе… Я запросила її увійти, але вона не наважувалася зробити і кроку. Тут з кухні прибігла тітка, почувши наші голоси, вийшов дідусь. Він обняв доньку, вони ще довго стояли, витираючи одне одному сльози. Дідусь щось говорив мамі пошепки, а вона плакала…

Ось уже багато років я живу в селі, у мене велика і дружня родина, підростають діти, я дотепер веду уроки в початкових класах, а головне – нарешті я знайшла рідних людей, яких колись мама вважала чужими. Мама нікуди не поїхала, нарешті вона помирилася з батьком і сестрою, а те, що було в минулому, нехай там і залишається…

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З життя3 години ago

You Simply Don’t Understand Your Own Happiness — Half a million? — Karen stared at the phone notification, rereading it three times before the numbers made sense. — You took out a loan for half a million pounds? David was on the sofa, fixated on his smartphone, not even looking up. — Oh, that… Yeah, it’s nothing really, just for Mum’s house repairs. You know her pipes are leaking, floors warped, wallpaper peeling… — Hold on. — Karen sank onto the edge of the armchair, legs refusing to hold her. — You got a loan. For half a million. And gave all of it to your mother. Without saying a word to me? David finally looked up. His face showed only genuine confusion, as if his wife was asking something entirely obvious. — Karen, it’s my mum. She lives alone, her pension’s tiny. Who else is going to help her? — And you couldn’t discuss it with me? — Karen yelled, unable to stop herself. — Ask my opinion? At least warn me? — You would’ve argued, — David shrugged. — And Mum needed it urgently. Four years. Four years she’d put up with the woman who called every evening to check what David had for dinner. Who’d arrive unannounced and critique their cleaning, who’d orchestrate family dinners so Karen ended up at the far end of the table. — Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, — David kept his calm tone. — We’ll be fine. Pay it off fast, it’s not much. It’s family. Hot, angry tears streamed down. Karen wiped them with the back of her hand, smearing mascara. — Family? Am I family? Or just an add-on? Remember when your mum decided it was time for a new car and you sold ours without asking me? Or when she cleared my things out of the guest room because she “couldn’t sleep surrounded by strangers’ junk”? Or how on my birthday, you left with her to buy her a fridge? — It’s nothing, — David waved her off. — You’re just tired, you need a break. Karen looked at this man—tall, gentle features, dimples she once thought cute. Now she saw only a thirty-year-old boy who couldn’t cut the cord. — We’ll get through this, — he repeated like a mantra. — Love conquers all. Karen rose without a word and went to the bedroom. Two large duffel bags sat in the closet—the same ones she’d moved in with. She dragged them out, tossed them on the bed, and began opening cupboards. David appeared at the door twenty minutes later, just as one bag was stuffed full. — What are you doing? Karen, this is ridiculous. You’re not serious? She didn’t answer, quietly folding jumpers, jeans, underwear. Took down the jewellery box—gifts from her parents and friends, she wouldn’t take anything from him. — Where will you go? To your mum? She’s up in Manchester! Zipping the second bag. Checking her purse—passport, bank card, the keys to her mum’s flat she’d always kept “just in case.” — Karen, say something! You can’t just leave me. I love you! She looked him in the eye, sharp and long. Then picked up her bags and walked out. …Next morning, Karen stood in line at the registry office, clutching her completed divorce papers. Rain drizzled outside, grey clouds low over rooftops, but inside she felt a strange calm. The decision was made. The first call came at half past two in the morning. Karen jumped awake on the sofa at her friend Leah’s, not immediately sure where she was. — We need to talk, — David’s rapid breathing, scattered words. — I get it now, I’ll change. Please, give me a chance. She hung up. Twenty minutes later, the phone rang again. — Karen, I can’t live without you. You are my whole life. By morning, there were forty-three messages. Each one long, tearful, full of promises and threats. “If you don’t come back, I don’t know what I’ll do.” “Mum says you’re just being difficult.” “I’ll wait for you, forever.” A week later, David began appearing outside her office. Karen would leave for lunch and there he’d be, hovering by the coffee kiosk. She’d head to the Tube—there he was, across the street. — Just passing by, — he insisted when Karen demanded an explanation. — I wanted to see you. One evening, there was a knock at Leah’s door. Karen opened it, not checking the peephole—she was expecting the pizza delivery. David stood on the doorstep, clutching a bouquet of red roses. — Just one chance, — he whispered. — I ask for nothing more. Karen quietly closed the door. He stayed outside for two hours, until the neighbours threatened to call the police. She learned to live with it—the way you learn to live with chronic pain. Don’t read the texts, don’t answer unknown calls, don’t look back in the street. Switched to remote work at a new firm, moved to a suburb where David would never “happen” to be. The divorce was finalised three months later. Karen left court with the official papers clutched tight and cried on the steps—not for grief, but relief. The first months of freedom were frighteningly empty. Karen had gotten used to checking every decision with someone, even if they’d always do as they wished. Now she could buy any yoghurt in the shop, without wondering if Mrs Davies would approve. She could watch any film, and wouldn’t hear “normal women don’t watch that.” She could breathe. She signed up for English courses—her long-time dream, which David had dismissed as “foolish expense.” Began attending early morning yoga before sunrise, when the city was just waking up. Took a solo trip to Brighton for the weekend, wandering the streets and eating doughnuts. Six months later, the calls stopped. The texts too. Karen waited for the catch another month, then another, and finally understood she could relax. She landed a job at a marketing agency—bright office, young team, exciting projects. Life was moving on. …She met Andrew at a work event her colleague Maddy insisted she attend. — This is our lead developer, — Maddy introduced a tall guy in thin-rimmed glasses. — Andrew, this is Karen from marketing. He shook her hand—firmly, but gently. Smiled—just a plain, genuine smile. — Escaping from the karaoke too, I see? — he nodded toward the stage, where the Finance Director was butchering “Wonderwall.” — Saving my nerves, — Karen nodded. They talked most of the night—about books, travel, the oddities of life. Andrew listened more than he spoke. Asked questions, actually waited for answers, never interrupted. Never tried to lecture or explain how she should live. When he found out she was divorced, he just nodded and changed the subject. …Half a year later, they moved in together, picking a flat in the city centre. Small, light-filled, high ceilings, overlooking a quiet courtyard. — Are you sure you like this flat? — Karen asked, as they viewed it before signing. — Maybe we should see some more? — Do you like it? — Andrew turned to her. — Yes. Very much. — Then let’s take it. Small things—the right to have an opinion, and be heard—meant more than any declarations of love. He proposed on the roof of their building, as the sun sank below the skyline, painting the sky pink and gold. He pulled out a tiny box, opened it—inside shimmered a diamond ring. — I’m not much for speeches, — Andrew admitted. — But I want to wake up next to you every day. If you don’t mind my snoring and my addiction to terrible coffee. Karen laughed through tears and nodded. …That May evening began like any other. Andrew was late at work—a looming deadline, an urgent bug. Karen was making pasta, humming along to the radio, when a sharp, insistent knock came at the door. She glanced through the peephole—and jumped back. It was David. Pale, dark circles under his eyes, crumpled shirt. Two years. Two years of silence—and now he was here. — Karen, open up! — his fist hammered the door. — I know you’re there! We need to talk! She grabbed her phone, dialled Andrew. The line was busy. — We love each other! — David shouted through the door. — You can’t be with someone else! It’s wrong! The door shuddered—he was throwing his weight against it. Karen pressed her back tight against the door, feet braced. — Get away, — she yelled. — I’ll call the police! — You’re my wife! — his voice climbed to a shrill pitch. — You were mine and you’ll always be mine! I waited two years for you to come to your senses! Two years! — We’re divorced! It’s over! — Nothing’s over! — he shoved again, and she barely held the door. — I’ve changed! Mum says you just don’t understand your own happiness! Open up, let’s talk! Through the peephole, his face was twisted, possessed. Nothing like the man she’d once shared a bed with. Karen dialled 999. — David! One click and the police will be here. Leave. Now. David froze. A few seconds passed. Then he spun around and strode to the stairs. Downstairs, the front door banged. Karen slid to the floor against the wall, dizzy. After half an hour, she managed to stand and call Andrew. The police took her statement the next day. The officer, an older bloke with a mustache, took notes, nodded. — We’ll deal with it. We’ll have a word. Whatever he said to David, Karen never found out. But after that, her ex never appeared again. No calls, no messages, no accidental run-ins. …She and Andrew held their wedding in early June—a small country restaurant, twenty guests, just close friends. No fuss, no groom’s relatives demanding old traditions. Karen stood across from Andrew in a simple white dress, holding his warm hands. Outside, birch trees rustled, the air scented with flowers and freshly cut grass. — Do you take… — began the celebrant. — I do, — Karen cut in, making the guests laugh. Andrew slid the ring on her finger—thin gold, engraved inside: “Always with you.” Karen looked up at the man who would be her husband. Not a mummy’s boy, not an obsessed stalker. Just a man who knew how to listen, respect, and love. Ahead lay a life where her voice mattered…

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З життя4 години ago

My Husband Invited His Ex-Wife Over for the Sake of the Children—So I Checked Into a Hotel to Celebrate on My Own

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