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Emerald Eyes Glancing Back from the Past
The Gaze of Green Eyes from the Past
James woke before dawn and thought:
“Blimey, havent slept that well in ages. And where? In a haystack in the middle of a field, no comforts, no warm blanket. Though, who needs it? Summers warm, and the hays sweet and cosy.”
He sat up, brushing the hay away. His mind was clearno lingering sorrow over his divorce, no weight of regret. Had he ever truly loved her? The question settled heavily.
“Ten years together, and was it all just pretending? We got on well enough, I suppose, but no children. Emily had a daughter, thoughclaimed she didnt know who the father was. Had her for herself, she said.”
James had always sensed something forced in Emilys affections. They argued often. After every row, his mind would drift back to the soft green eyes and gentle smile of Nurse Margaret, whod tended to him in the hospital years agochanging drips, administering injections. Hed been wounded then, fighting overseas.
Now, sitting in the hay, he smiled at the memory. Her voice had been calm, her eyes like twin emeralds, her hair thick and chestnut. Hed never seen eyes like hers since. In his heart, he knew it was Margaret whod pulled him through the worst of it.
On the day he was discharged, hed picked a bundle of wildflowers and gone to find her, ready to ask her to come home with him. He knew it wasnt simple, but he had to try.
“Margarets not here,” another nurse told him. “Transferred to another medical unit.”
“Where?”
“I dont know. And even if I did, I couldnt say. You know how it is.”
Devastated, he resolved to search for her. But how? He knew only her name and the colour of her eyes. In the end, he went home, discharged on medical grounds. Nothing had changedhis father still drank, his mother still scolded.
Then one day, his old comrade Leo turned up. Theyd served together, seen hell side by side.
“Alright, Jim?” Leo clapped him on the back. “Recovered alright?”
“Getting there,” James shrugged.
“Come down to the village with me. Nothing for you here. Unless theres someone keeping you?” He winked.
“No one. Just cant forget Margaret.”
“Ah, mate, she really got under your skin. But dont give up. Keep looking.”
So James went with Leo, the one man he trusted completely. Time passed. He bought a little old cottage, fixed it up, made it livable. Meanwhile, Leo fell in love, moved to town with his wife, Lucy.
“Sorry, Jim,” Leo said. “Dragged you here, and now Im off. Never expected to meet Lucy. But well stay in touch.”
“Dont worry,” James grinned. “Ive got my own plans. Proposed to Emily.”
Now, standing in the field, the memory dissolved into the sound of Emilys voice from the night beforesharp, mocking.
“Youll never find another like me. No one else would put up with you. Your little moods? Nobody cares. Ive got a proper man now, one who actually loves me.”
Her ‘little moods’ were his quiet spells, when the past pressed in. Shed hated them, poked and prodded until it sparked an argument. Hed never understood why it bothered her so muchhe never even spoke of it.
Last night, shed finally said what hed long suspected. He listened in silence, packed a bag, and walked out as curses followed him. Away from the village, away from her.
“Strange,” he mused. “Thought Id be raging, shouting, blaming her. But Im calm. Almost relieved.”
By evening, hed reached the hayfield and buried himself in a stack, deciding to rest before heading to town in the morning. Leo would understand.
“Done with pretending,” he whispered. Hed known for a whileEmily had taken up with some council official overseeing new farm builds.
For the first time in months, he felt light, unburdened. The hay was fresh, the air clean. He slept deeply, dreamlesslyuntil he woke with Margarets green eyes floating in his mind.
“Right. Time to move.”
He hitched a bus to town, bought a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. Leo never touched spiritsjust a light wine between them. The chocolates were for Lucy.
At their flat, Leo answered the door mid-stretch, grinning.
“Jim! Bloody hell, come in!”
James stepped inside, glancing past him.
“You alone?”
Leo caught his look and didnt press. “Kitchens this way. Breakfasts on.”
Lucy appeared, followed by their seven-year-old, Nicky, who promptly latched onto James leg.
“Nice when everyones happy to see you,” James thought.
Over the table, he handed Lucy the chocolatesthen noticed her rounded belly.
“Wait, is that?”
“Sure is,” Lucy laughed.
“Good on you,” James grinned.
“Didnt plan it,” Leo admitted. “But here we aregot a little girl coming.”
“Not too old for it,” James teased.
“Youre not exactly young yourself,” Lucy pointed out. James just shrugged.
They reminisced, laughed, skirted the painful bits. Lucy kept exchanging glances with Leo, until finally she blurted:
“Right, Ive had enough. You tell him, or I will.”
Leo sighed. “Fine. Jim weve been sitting on this awhile. Didnt want to stir things up while you were with Emily. But Margarets alive.”
James went very still.
“She wrote to us,” Leo continued. “Lives in a little village up north. Lucy tracked her downproper detective work.”
Lucy leaned in. “Jim, shes alone. Asked about you. Said she never found another man like you. Shes still waiting.”
James only breathed again on the train north. Fields blurred past the window. In his hand, Margarets lettermemorised already. She loved him. Hed never doubted that. Now, he was finally on his way.
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