Family Ties: The Bonds That Define Us

When theres kin, theres always a kerfuffle, as the old English saying goes.

Ethel grew up in a tiny hamlet in the Yorkshire Dales and dreamed of getting out of the mud and the cows. She never saw herself as a milkmaid, a mower or a shepherdess. The moment she turned sixteen she bought a train ticket to Birmingham and swore, Ill never set foot back in that backwater, come what may.

She enrolled at a technical college, got a bunk in the lads hall and, after two years, landed a job as a crane operator on a tower crane.

Soon enough it was time for a wedding. For three months every weekend Ethel and her mates went to the town park for a swingdance. There she met a dashing fellow, Colin Whitfield, who seemed equally keen to dance his way into matrimony. No fuss, straight to the registry office.

A letter shot off to her parents: Mum, Dad, Im getting hitched! Come and see the grandchildren!

But the Whitfields couldnt make it the night before they’d already given the older daughter away. Well pop round later to meet the grandkids, Mum replied.

The ceremony was a modest affair and the everyday grind began. Ethel moved into Colins cramped threeroom council flat, which also housed his mother, sister with her son, brother with his wife, and Ethel herself a full house of five generations under one leaky roof.

Yet Ethel and Colin were happy. Their motherinlaw liked the new daughterinlaw: obedient, diligent, never a word out of place. The motherinlaws own brood numbered five; two of her daughters lived elsewhere with their husbands.

The youngest, a feisty lass called Lucy, caused her fair share of bother. She gave birth to a son in the delivery ward, but the babys father vanished without a word, leaving only a vague memory. Colin had to whisk his sister and the infant from the hospital, and the matron chuckled, Now youll be raising your nephew for life, dear. They laughed it off.

Life went on for the whole clan work, chores, occasional tiffs. The first real storm brewed when Colin brought Lucy home as his wife. Lucy, fresh from a night out in some backstreet town, jabbered, He stole me a husband! and immediately set her sights on Ethel.

Ethel kept her peace, saying nothing, while Colin stayed tightlipped partly because his mother kept urging, Ethel, dont mind Lucy. Shes just jealous, lonely and a bit unlucky. Keep quiet for Colins sake, or hell think of revenge.

When Lucy started hurling abuse at her own mother, Ethel defended the matriarch, who wiped away tears while fanning the kitchen stove.

In due course Ethel and Colin welcomed a baby girl, Lily, and motherhood thrilled Ethel. Lucy, however, turned into a storm cloud, sparking daily arguments over the smallest thing. Ethel finally snapped, Im a tiger for my child! The fights grew fierce, even a fullon brawl of mums. Ethel complained to Colin, who, after a brief thought, grabbed an iron and, in a flash of anger, swung at Lucy. The iron missed, but Lucy went pale and never raised her voice again.

Lucy did have suitors, though she often left her son, Danny, with Ethel while she flitted off to rendezvous. Those boyfriends were shortlived; Lucy blamed Danny for her bitter loneliness, calling him a little thug. One heated day Ethel shouted, Why dont you look after your own son? Hes stealing biscuits, pocketfull of coins, and not even nine yet!

Lucy waved it off, Ill marry first, then Ill deal with Danny. Im tired of sleeping on a cold mattress while you snuggle with Colin.

When Ethels parents visited to see Lily, they were stunned by the cramped flat and the constant bickering. Ethel, you should come back to the family farm, her father urged. Youll go mad here. Mum whispered, Come home, love. Vanya keeps dropping by the yard hell welcome you and Lily with open arms. Remember the love you once had?

Ethel sighed, I didnt move to the city to end up back in the tractorfields. She promised to hold on. Soon Colin, as an engineer, will get his own flat. Her parents left, heavyhearted, sighing over their daughters fate.

Three years later the factory where Colin worked awarded him a council flat. Joy overflowed. By then the Whitfields had a son, Jack, and the whole family moved into their new nest. It was modest and chilly, but at last it felt like home.

A year later Colins mother passed away. Lucy, now silverhaired, blamed herself for the petty fights and harsh words. She visited the grave daily, closed the gate behind her, sat on the bench and stared at a spot on the ground, muttering to herself. Folks warned, Dont shut the gate, youll never leave. She replied, I dont care. Time, as they say, softened the ache.

Lucy eventually found a serious boyfriend and prepared for marriage. She invited Ethel over for tea in the same cramped flat. They chatted, laughed, and as Ethel was about to leave, Lucy halted her, Hold on, Ethel. I need to apologise. I was jealous of you, deep down. I see now you love Colin genuinely, and Im happy for you both. Youre the most precious person in my world.

Ethel blinked, Well, you look lovely, Lucy! Lucy managed a sad smile and planted a kiss on Ethels cheek. Flustered, Ethel trudged home.

The next morning Colins younger brother phoned, Colin, Lucy didnt wake up. Shes gone. Shed died in her sleep at thirtyseven, heart failure. They buried her beside her mother in the same walled plot.

For a year fresh flowers were placed on Lucys grave, tended by a man who never became her husband. He later swapped them for a permanent bouquet of artificial roses; real blossoms wilted and stayed wilted.

Danny, now fourteen and halforphaned, faced an uncertain future. His biological father resurfaced, but his new family had no room for him. Relatives pushed for a care home, knowing Danny was a troublemaker. Colin, however, declared, No childrens homes! Were kin, and kin brings work. Dima will stay with us. He took legal guardianship.

The extended family exhaled in relief. Thank heavens we didnt dump the kid on the state! they muttered. Of course, Colin and Ethel had to put up with Dannys thieving, rudeness and occasional threats, but they endured.

Danny grew up, married, and named his first son Lovell, the second Colin, after his guardians. Relatives marveled, Well, look at Dima now, turned a proper gentleman!

Fresh flowers returned to Lucys grave, this time placed by Danny himself, a quiet tribute to the tangled web of family, love, and the inevitable kerfuffle that comes with it.