Haunting Gaze of Green Eyes from the Past

**The Gaze of Green Eyes from the Past**

James woke at dawn and thought:

*Blimey, its been ages since I slept this welland where? In a haystack out in the field, no comforts, no warm blanket. Not that it mattered. Summer warmth, and the hay was fragrant and cosy.*

He pushed the hay aside and stood. His mind was clear, no lingering grief over the split with his wife, no sadness. Had he never truly loved her? The thought nagged him.

*So all those ten years were just an imitation of married life?* Yet theyd managed well enoughthough no children came of it. Sarah had a daughter, mind, though as she put it, shed no idea who the father was. Had the girl just for herself.

James always sensed something forced in Sarahs affectionrows were frequent. After each one, his mind would drift to those greenish eyes, the sweet smile of Nurse Emily whod leaned over him, giving injections and IV drips back in the military hospital. Hed been wounded then, out in the Middle East.

Sitting in the haystack, James smiled at the memoryher soothing voice, those emerald eyes, the thick chestnut hair. Never seen eyes like hers since. Hed always believed Emily was the one who got him through the pain.

The day he was discharged, hed picked a bunch of wildflowers and gone to find her, ready to ask her to come home with him. Knew it wouldnt be simple, but still.

*”Emilys not heretransferred to another medical unit,”* another nurse told him.

*”Where to?”*

*”No idea. And even if I knew, I couldnt say. You know how it is here…”*

Devastated, James resolved to searchbut how, with only a name and those eyes? In the end, he went home, medically discharged. Same old story there: Dad drinking, Mum working and cursing him.

Then one day, his old mate Liam turned upsomeone whod been through it all with him.

*”Alright, Jim? Recovered?”* Liam clapped him on the back.

*”Aye, not bad.”*

*”Come down to our village. Nothing for you hereno work, no future. Unless youve got someone keeping you?”* He winked.

*”No one now. Cant forget Emily.”*

*”Got you good, eh? But dont give upkeep looking.”*

James went with Liam, the one man he trusted. Time passed. He bought a tumbledown cottage, fixed it up, made it home.

Then Liam fell for a girlLucyand moved to the nearest town.

*”Sorry, mate, dragging you out here just to leave,”* Liam said.

*”Dont fret,”* James grinned. *”Ive a life brewing tooasked Sarah to marry me.”*

Now, staring across the open fields, James snapped back to the presentSarahs bitter words ringing in his ears from last night.

*”Youll never find another like mewhod put up with you this long. No one else will. And anyway, theres a proper bloke who loves me now.”*

She called his brooding *”faffing”*when the past weighed on him, and hed shut down. Sarah hated it, poking and prodding till rows erupted. He never understood why it riled her sohe never even spoke of it.

Last night, shed finally said what hed long suspected. He listened silently, packed a bag, and left as her shouts followed him. Walked clear out of the village, away from her.

*Odd. Thought Id rage, scream, blame her. But nothing. Just calm. Almost relieved its over.*

At dusk, hed turned into a field, slept in a haystack, deciding to head to Liams in the morning.

*Thats that,* James thought, oddly light. *No more pretending.* Hed guessed for months about Sarah and that councilman building new farms in the area.

For the first time in half a year, he felt freelike a weight had dropped. He burrowed deeper into the hay.

*Tomorrows tomorrow. For now, rest.*

He lay back, head on his bag, but sleep wouldnt come. Stars pricked the sky, memories crowding inhis injured arm twinged, a relic of the war. He forced his mind elsewhere.

Remembered meeting Sarahlively, bold, older by three years. Shed made him hope happiness was possible. Never asked about her past, or the daughters father. Just tried to love her. Thought theyd grow old together.

But hed failed her somehow. The more she mocked his *”faffing”*, the more he retreated into himself.

Exhaustion finally took himdeep, dreamless sleep. Only waking did Emilys eyes return.

*Right. Time to move.*

He caught a bus into town, bought wine and chocolatesnever spirits with Liam, just easy drinking. Lucy got the sweets.

At their flat, Liam answered in joggers, grinning.

*”Jim! Bloody brilliantget in!”*

James glanced past him. *”Just you?”*

Liam read his face and dropped it. *”Kitchen. Breakfasts on.”*

Seven-year-old Noah barrelled into him. *So good to be wanted.*

Over breakfast, James handed over the wine, a giant chocolate bar for Noah, and the box for Lucyonly then noticing her bump.

*”Wait, are you?”*

*”We are!”* Lucy laughed.

*”Nice one,”* James said, genuinely pleased.

*”Didnt expect it,”* Liam admitted. *”But here we area little girl coming.”*

*”Plenty of time yet,”* James said.

*”Youre past thirty!”* Lucy teased. He just shrugged.

They talked for hourslaughter, old sorrows. Lucy left them be but kept shooting Liam looks. Finally, she blurted:

*”Honestly, youre hopeless!”*

*”Later, Luce,”* Liam muttered.

*”No! Youll dither and forget.”* She turned to James. *”Weve been wanting to tell you”*

*”Tell me what?”*

*”Good news,”* she said, breathless. *”Emilyweve found her.”*

James went pale, gulped water.

*”Didnt want to stir things,”* Liam said. *”Thought you and Sarah were solid. But now… Emily wrote. Shes alive, in a village up north. Lucy tracked her down.”*

James hung on every word.

*”Jim, shes alone. Asked after you. Said she never found another like youstill waiting.”*

On the train north, James stared at the rushing countryside, Emilys letter in handmemorised now. His Emily was waiting. Loved him still, just as hed never stopped loving her. No doubt in his mind.

He was riding straight to his happiness.