HE WAS BETTER THAN THE SIGHTED ONES

Miss, are you sure about this? I heard a mans trembling voice over the telephone.
All right, lets give it a go, I replied, a little condescendingly.

I was twenty, studying at university and looking for a side job. An advert in The Times caught my eye: Blind lecturer seeks assistant My heart went out to the unknown blind man, so I rang him straight away.

The next morning I stood before his modest flat in Camden. I knocked hesitantly; the door swung open and a man in his early forties stood there, his eyes unseeing but his smile bright.

Come in, love. Whats your name? he asked, his voice nervous.
Emily, I said, blushing a touch.
David Barlow, he replied.
I could really use your help, Emily. Your perfume is intoxicating. I teach history at the university and need someone to read my lecture notes to me each evening. Ill memorise them. I hold three tutorials a week. Deal? he said, insisting on calling me Emily each time.

His flat was spotless, nothing cluttered the rooms. David was handsome, tidy, and somehow irresistibly magnetic.

Shall we begin, David? I said, eager to get to work.

September turned to February, then May. The term ended and student holidays began. David gave me the summer off, so I headed for Brighton. Within a week Id forgotten about my blind mentor and fell in love with a young solicitor named James. We became engaged, and a wedding date was set.

At the end of August David called.

Emily, could you drop by tomorrow?
I cant, Im getting married. Im busy with the wedding, I told him cheerfully.
Marrying already? Thats quick. I think youre rushing, disappointment edged his tone. Please, Emily, come. he pleaded.
All right, Ill pop in, I said reluctantly.

The following day, the sweltering August heat thick in the air, David greeted me in the hallway.

Your dazzling perfume, Emily. Come in, he said.
You know, my fiancé also loves that scent, I added, halfjoking.
Emily, can we keep working together for another academic year? I cant manage without you. Please say yes, he begged, his voice soft.
Very well, lets get on with it, I replied, businesslike.

The more time I spent with David, the less I wanted to jump into matrimony with James. I soon retrieved the marriage licence from the registry office and handed James my resignation. After all, a bride who isnt yet a wife can still call it off

David and I started calling each other by our first names. While I read his lecture notes, he would gently hold my hand. Hed roll his eyes in the dark and breathe in the scent of my perfume like it were a fine wine. We were comfortable, cosy, and the world seemed simple.

One icy evening I arrived shivering, asking for a hot drink. David settled me into his armchair, wrapped a blanket around my legs and said,

Sit tight, Emily, Ill be right back.

He disappeared into the kitchen, tinkered for a moment, then returned with a tray. He placed it carefully on the coffee table: slices of orange and a glass of brandy.

Drink this, Emily. Youll warm up straight away, he urged.

I sipped the brandy slowly, watching him. A sudden urge to hug this unusual man, to hold him close, washed over me. As the brandy faded, David came nearer, pressed a warm kiss to my lips, and wrapped his arms around me.

Stay with me, Emily. Ill give you a whole world. Dont laugh, he whispered.
Im not laughing, David. Youre so tender. My heads spinning, I replied, feeling a calm Id never known.

He whispered, his fingertips brushing my cheek,

The blind hear everything, the deaf see everything.

The next morning his mother, Mrs. Barlow, arrived as she always did at dawn, preparing breakfast and tidying up. She saw me lying in bed and didnt seem surprised at all.

Good morning, love. Emily and I are still in bed, David announced cheerfully.
No problem, stay as long as you like. Ill whip up breakfast, she replied with a smile, heading to the kitchen.

Later, over tea and toast, I asked,

David, I dreamt of the sky last night. Is that normal?

Emily, Im afraid Im getting used to you. I realise youre not meant for me. Its sad, my dear, he mused.

Mrs. Barlow called out from the kitchen,

Breakfast is ready, children!

We laughed, sipping coffee and eating sandwiches.

Thanks, Mum. I have a lecture later, need to prepare. Ill see you later, Emily, David said, shuffling to his favourite armchair.

When the door closed, his mother lingered, lowering her voice.

Emily, my David has truly fallen for you. Youve brought sunshine into my sons life; I dont want him to feel the darkness later. As they say, you dont put a blind man in charge of a carriage. Please, dont break his heart. You have a sighted life ahead. Every blind man thinks hell see the light before he dies. My David is already ruined. Dont add to my grief. Dont come back, Emily. Ill find a way to keep David steady.

I stood there, bewildered, torn. I knew David was only a temporary chapter; a future together was impossible. He hadnt asked me to marry him, yet I couldnt just abandon him on a whim. I had fallen for him, heart and soul.

So I began visiting David only when his mother was away. I didnt want to face her, and I felt guilty looking her in the eye.

A year passed. Our bond grew stronger, unbreakable. The blind man gave me his own light. I told everyone I was marrying the blind scholar. Then one day I arrived to find him waiting.

Emily, were done. I set you free. Leave.

My world shattered. My heart burst into pieces, tears and hysteria followed. I thought I couldnt survive the separation. David saw none of this, heard none of it.

I married twice in those years once in passion, once in love, each full of turmoil. No one ever matched David.