Hopping Around the World Like a Goat

You bound across the world like a goat.
Mark and I will pull off some wild stuff, Lizzy, just wait and see,” said Rebecca, gesturing grandly from her perch on the university dorm window ledge. “Youll go into consulting, Ill head for marketing, and thenbamwell open our own agency. The world is ours!”
Elizabeth looked up from her lecture notes and laughed, tossing her heavy brown plait back.
“Becky, our exams are in a week, and here you are building an empire.”
“Whats wrong with dreaming?” Rebecca hopped down from the ledge and flopped onto the worn-out mattress beside her. “Seriously, Lizzy. Were not like those silly girls in our year. Were clever. Well make it for sure.”
Elizabeth put aside her pen and eyed her frienda mess of faded t-shirt and dishevelled hair, but with eyes ablaze. For a reason she couldnt name, she believed Rebecca with absolute certainty at that moment.
“Yes, we will,” she whispered quietly.
Ten years slipped by like a single sigh…
…Elizabeth chewed through those years. Internships in international firms, nights sleepless over reports, business English at dawn, Mandarin on weekends. Forums, conferences, connections. She clawed her way upwards, scratching her elbows and knees, but never halted. By thirty, Elizabeth wore tailored suits of Italian wool, flew to Tokyo for negotiations, and forgot the last time she cried from exhaustionshe simply didnt have time.
Rebecca met Michael in third year. He worked as a mechanic, carried the scent of petrol, and stared at her like she was the only woman in the universe. By fourth year, Rebecca was pregnant, fifth yearshe quit university. The marketing agency dissolved somewhere among her daughters first teeth and the second round of nappies. Now her empire was a three-bedroom flat in a suburban estate, where she ruled over pots, toddler tantrums, and a perpetually leaking tap.
They still met sometimesbut less and less. Elizabeth brought gifts from work trips: a silk scarf from Milan, a pack of highland tea from Yunnan. She dug out photos, showed Kyoto temples, recounted meetings with Japanese clients.
“They never say anything directlyyou wouldnt believe it! Its all hints and subtleties. I spent three months learning their etiquette just to not mess up the first meeting.”
Rebecca nodded, twirled the tea packet in her hands, and said nothing. Then, a heavy sigh.
“Must be nice for you. Michaels always at work, Alice keeps catching colds at nursery, and money never adds up…”
Elizabeth didnt know what to reply. An invisible wall had grown between themof separate lives, separate words, separate scentsher £200 perfume against Rebeccas baby powder.
On Rebeccas birthday, Elizabeth arrived straight from Heathrow. Deep blue suit, heels, a blow-dry done in the airport lounge. She joined the party easilylaughing, talking about her latest project, catching mens curious glances and womens respectful smiles.
Rebecca sat in the corner…
Her dress was old, worn at Michaels work party three years ago. Her hair in a simple ponytail because Alice had thrown a morning tantrumno time for the hairdryer. She watched Elizabeth gleaming in the room’s centre, everyone hanging on her words, and something dark, sticky, and bitter stirred inside her. Not jealousy. Worse…
Elizabeth went to the kitchen for water and stopped at the doorway. Rebecca stood at the window, clutching a wine glass, her gaze lost through the glass.
“Becks, why are you standing here alone?” Elizabeth touched her friends shoulder. “Come back, theyre bringing out the cake.”
Rebecca shrugged her off.
“Go on. Theyre waiting for you.”
Elizabeth frowned but stood her ground. She poured herself water, took a sip, and tried gently,
“Ive wanted to say… I know you miss work, its obvious. Theres a position in my firmentry-level, but with real prospects. I could speak to HR, maybe get you an internship”
The glass hit the table so hard wine spilled in a crimson puddle.
“An internship?” Rebecca spun round, and Elizabeth stepped back from her face. “For me? An internship?”
“Becky, I just meant to help…”
“Help?” Rebecca laughed, but her laugh was sharp and cracked. “Do you hear yourself? The mighty Elizabeth Jane has descended to help her pitiful mate, bestowing favours. Thanks for your generosity!”
“You misunderstood,” Elizabeth tried to stay calm. “I just see you arent happy, that you want something more, so I tried to offer an option.”
“Did I ask for your help?” Rebecca moved closer, and Elizabeth instinctively stepped back. “Youve changed, Lizzy. You used to be normal, but nowarrogant, proud. You look down your nose at everyone with your Tokyo trips and fancy suits.”
“Thats not fair.”
“Not fair?” Rebecca shouted, someone peered from the sitting room but quickly withdrew. “Is it fair you shove your perfect life at everyone? Every day on Instagramhere I am in the plane, here I am at a conference, heres my £500 smoothie! You think its nice to see that?”
Elizabeth was winded by surprise…
“Im just sharing joy, Becky. Thats normal.”
“Joy?” Rebecca snorted. “Youre showing off! Showing everyone youre successful while the rest of us are failures. Proper women at thirty have families, raise kids, and you? You bound across the world like a goat, no husband, no child. Empty blossom!”
That word cut deep, right in the most tender place.
“I worked,” Elizabeth managed to steady her voice. “I slogged through nights while you watched soaps. I learnt languages while you made stews. It was my choice, and I have the right.”
“Oh, come on! You stepped over everyone, thats what. You think I dont know how you edged out Mary at that job? Selfish! Only ever thought about yourself!”
Elizabeth fell silent, looking at her former friends trembling lips, red cheeks, and the simmering resentment finally spilling out.
Suddenly, everything was clear. So clear it was sickening.
“You dont hate me, Becky,” Elizabeth said softly. “You hate yourself. For being afraid. For giving up. Its easier for you to see me as the villain than admit you just bottled it.”
Rebecca paled.
“Leave.”
“Already gone,” Elizabeth set her glass down and headed for the door. “Goodbye, Becky. And good luck with your cosy routine.”
Elizabeth grabbed her bag and pushed open the front door. Cold rain whipped her face, but she didnt flinch, stepping straight into the grey curtain.
Her heels tapped against wet pavement. The expensive suit clung to her back, mascara surely racing down her cheeks, but none of it mattered. Elizabeth walked towards the Underground, and with every step the air grew lighter.
It was oddshe expected pain. She thought shed be crushed by nostalgia for fifteen years of friendship, for that girl with fiery eyes perched on the dorm window, for shared dreams and schemes. But instead came only relief, dull and a little shameful.
Their friendship hadnt died today. It faded year by year, conversation by conversation. Every time Elizabeth shared happiness and got pursed lips in return. Each time she spoke of plans, and Rebecca rolled her eyes. Each time she tried to pull her friend out, only for Rebecca to clutch at her ankles, dragging her under.
Elizabeth dipped into the Underground and took an empty seat, ignoring wet marks on the fabric. She fished out a compact, checked her reflectionsmudged mascara, ruffled hair, red eyes. She smiled and put it away.
Tomorrow shed be up at six, waves in her hair, a different suit, and back to work. Because life doesnt end for someone elses envy…
A month later, Elizabeth was summoned by the managing director. She entered the office, ready for anythinga new project, criticism, another gauntlet of meetings. But Phillip Howard silently slid a folder her way, and Elizabeth scanned the first page.
Appointment as Regional Director of Asian Operations. Year-long contract in Singapore.
“Youve earned it, Elizabeth Jane,” the director leaned back in his chair. “Board voted unanimously. You fly in three weeks. Will you be ready?”
Elizabeth looked up and nodded.
“Ill be ready.”
She left the office, clutching the folder to her chest, and allowed herself to linger a few seconds in the deserted hallway. Novembers sun drew streaks of gold and crimson across the sky outside the window. Somewhere out in the suburbs, Rebecca was probably stirring dinner and grumbling to Michael about the worlds injustice.
And Elizabeth packed her bags for Singapore.
And not oncenot for a single instant in her whole lifedid she regret her choice. As the English say, you reap what you sow.