Husband Refuses to Let Our Daughter Live in the Flat He Inherited from His Aunt—He Wants to Sell It and Split the Money Equally Among Our Three Children, but I Believe Our 19-Year-Old Daughter Should Have Her Own Place While Studying—Who’s Right in This Family Dilemma?

My husbands aunt left him a flat right in the centre of Oxfordtiny little thing, youd miss it if you blinked. Weve got three children: our eldest, Emily, is nineteen and currently at university. Then theres our twelve-year-old son, Oliver, and the littlest one, Charlie, whos five (still likes to decorate the living room walls with felt-tip pens). The five of us share a rather comfortable three-bedroom flat, so space isnt exactly an urgent crisis.

Recently, my husband and I had a bit of a domestic over this inherited abode. I suggested that Emily, being nearly a proper adultand perhaps soon destined for some dashing chapmight like her own space. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me. But my husband thinks handing the flat over to Emily would be a wild injustice to the boys. His grand plan is to sell the place and split the proceeds equally among our three heirs. Personally, I think thats a rather daft ideaby the time the money filters through, itll barely buy any of them a proper night out in London, let alone somewhere to live.

Even if we go with his magnanimous equality plan, the cash will just sit in savings accounts gathering dust until the lads are old enough to spend it on something trivialEmily, naturally, would be able to blow her share on a second-hand Vauxhall. Im old-school: Id rather keep a practical two-up, two-down than chase fantasies about multi-million pound nests for everyone. At least one child would have a roof over her head, and perhaps by the time the boys hit adulthood, well have figured out something for them as well.

My dear husband, though, is convinced giving the flat to Emily would cause dramatic rifts, lifelong resentment, soap-opera-worthy feuds, and eternal Christmas awkwardness. But I think the kids are still blissfully oblivioustheyre more interested in Minecraft and TikTok than real estate. That gives us some breathing room to agonise over Lifes Great Questions.

We havent actually told Emily a thingno need to get her hopes up about living in a place that currently resembles a bomb site. The flat really needs a complete overhaul. At present, youd have to be a particularly brave badger to want to spend a night in there, and our finances arent exactly in tip-top shape to take on a Grand Designs-style renovation.

So heres my dilemma: Am I being hopelessly stubborn? Should I cave and let my husband sell it, orperhapsyou clever lot out there see a third option, one weve somehow missed? All suggestions welcome. Especially ones that dont involve me learning how to re-plaster a wall.