“I Had to Get a Separate Fridge So Mum Would Stop Taking My Shopping” — says Anna. “It’s a ridiculous situation, but there’s no other way. I’m not against selling the flat and sharing the money, but she refuses”. Anna recently turned 24. She’s earned her university degree and found work, but hasn’t settled down yet. Living in her own home isn’t easy. Anna owns half of the flat. It used to belong to her father. She and her mother inherited equal shares when Anna was 14. Ten years ago, things were tough for the family—they lost their breadwinner. Anna’s mum quit her job when Anna was small, deciding against maternity leave because her husband earned well and they were comfortable. She focused on being a homemaker. After Anna’s father died, her mother sobbed, “Who’s going to hire a forty-year-old like me now? What, as a cleaner?” Anna continues: “I was getting a family pension, but Mum couldn’t resist trips to the salon and shopping, even though we were barely scraping by. Her brother helped at first, but then he’d had enough. My uncle told Ali (my mum) she’d have to find work. He has his own kids — he can’t support everyone. After about a year, Ali brought a new man home. His name was Derek. She announced he’d be living with us. Mum tried to solve the money problem by getting married again. Derek did earn good money, but he didn’t get along with me at all. Derek would say: ‘All you do is eat. You’d be better off with a load of laundry or cleaning. Why do you have to do homework? University? Forget it—you should work instead. Or do you think I’ll just keep feeding you?’ I couldn’t say anything. Yes, I was getting a pension, but Mum had control of the money. She never defended me from my stepdad. She was afraid of losing her breadwinner. ‘How will we cope without him?’ she asked me. ‘Don’t argue so much, just do what he says. He provides for the family.’ I made it to university and found a job. Even so, Derek thought of me as another mouth to feed and was always counting what he spent on me. “Six months after I started work, I could afford my own fridge,” Anna says. “I put it in my bedroom because Derek locked the kitchen fridge.” ‘You’ve got a job now? Feed yourself,’ Derek said. Ali fell silent again. Even when Derek showed me the utility bills and demanded I pay for everything he’d ever spent on me. Eventually, Derek lost his job. He and Mum began raiding my fridge. The bills all landed on me. At first, I paid. But Derek sat around unemployed for nearly a year. I’d had enough, so I put a padlock on my fridge. Of course, Mum objected, claiming Derek had kept us fed all this time. I said, ‘Help me out, if you want. I’m not the first one sharing everything in this house. Go get a job.’ Derek recently moved out. Mum’s had enough of a man who brings in no money. But I’m still not taking the padlock off my fridge. I believe Mum should work too. What do you think—is she right?

I had to bring in my own fridge just so Mum wouldnt keep taking my groceries.

I had no choice but to get a separate fridge, says Charlotte. The situations ridiculous, but really, what else could I do? I wouldnt mind selling the flat and splitting the money. But shes dead set against it.

Charlotte only just turned 24. Shes got a degree, found herself a decent job, but shes not married yet. Her life at home could hardly be called easy. She owns half the flat. It used to belong to her father, and when he died, she and her mother inherited equal sharesCharlotte was just fourteen then.

Ten years ago, things were dire. They were left with no breadwinner. Charlottes mum, Judith, had quit her job when Charlotte was little. She didnt even bother with maternity leaveher husband earned plenty, there was more than enough. Judith managed the house instead. And after Charlottes dad passed away, her mum wept, Who on earth would hire a forty-year-old? You want me as a cleaner, do you?

Charlotte goes on, We got a family allowance, but Mum just couldnt give up trips to the boutiques, buying new bits and bobs, even though we were barely scraping by. Her brother stepped in to help at first, but he lost patience.

My uncle told Judith shed have to find work. Hes got two kids of his own and simply cant support everyone. About a year later, Mum brought home a bloke named Philip. She said hed be living with us now. This was Mums way of ending the money problemsgetting married again. Philip did have a good job, but he couldnt get on with his stepdaughter at all.

Philips words echoed: All you do is eat. Youd be better off doing the laundry or cleaning. Why the homework, then? Planning on going to uni? For what? You should be working, not studying. Or do you expect me to feed you forever?

Charlotte had nothing to say. Sure, there was the allowance, but the money went straight to her mother. Judith wouldnt stand up for her daughter, just scared to lose the only earner in the house.

How are we supposed to cope without him? shed ask Charlotte. Its simpledont argue, just do as he says. He pays the bills.

Eventually, Charlotte got to university and found a job. All the while, she was treated as an extra mouth to feed, leeching off her stepfather. Philip kept count of every penny he spent to support his stepdaughter.

Six months into working, I bought myself a fridge, Charlotte says. Put it in my own room, since Philip locked the one in the kitchen.

Youve got a job, havent you? Feed yourself then, Philip told her.

Judith held her tongue again, said nothing even when Philip shoved gas and electric bills at Charlotte, demanding she pony up for everything hed spent on her over the years. Eventually, Philip lost his job. He and Judith started raiding Charlottes fridge. The bills landed squarely on her shoulders. At first, she paid. But Philip was jobless for nearly a year. Shed had enough, padlocked her fridge. Naturally, Judith was furious, declaring that Philip had fed them all the whole time.

Charlotte said, If you want to help, do it. Im not the first to end up dividing stuff in this house. Go get a job.

Philip moved out recently. Judiths had enough of a man who brings home nothing. But Charlotte still keeps her fridge locked up. She thinks her mum ought to find work too. I wonder, is she right?