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— І хочеш одружитися з моїм сином — віддай свою дитину в притулок, — заявила майбутня свекруха…

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— Якщо хочеш вийти заміж за мого сина, віддай свою дитину до дитбудинку, — заявила майбутня свекруха…

Перший чоловік Ніни був її другом з дитячого будинку. Вони обидва були сиротами, і їхня дружба переросла в кохання. Вони одружилися у 19 років. Вона відразу ж завагітніла, а він почав працювати вантажником, щоб утримувати родину. Жили вони в квартирі, яка належала бабусі Олега. Ніні довелося продати свою кімнату, щоб погасити борги за комунальні послуги, які залишилися від бабусі разом із квартирою.

Олег та Ніна жили небагато, але в любові. Їхнє щастя тривало лише три роки. Якось на роботі стався нещасний випадок, і Олег загинув, залишивши дружину з дитиною.

Ніні вдалося влаштувати сина в дитячий садок і вийти на роботу. Без освіти та досвіду вона змогла отримати посаду на пошті через знайомих. Зарплата була невеликою, грошей не вистачало. Але Ніна була вдячна і за це. А коли у відділку звільнилася прибиральниця, вона стала підробляти замість неї. Молоду жінку не бентежила брудна робота. Вона думала про сина, згадувала голодне дитинство і вірила в чудо. І воно сталося. Принаймні, Ніна так вирішила.

— Дівчино, довго мені ще чекати своєї черги? Я на вас поскаржусь! — обурився чоловік. Ніна розбирала посилки і не встигала обслуговувати людей. — Понабирали ледарів, а потім дивуються…

Ніна не любила, коли ображали працівників пошти. Вона знала, що це тяжка робота, і їй було прикро за колег. Клавдія Семенівна, жінка з хворими ногами, була змушена тягати коробки, адже з чоловіків у всьому відділенні був лише один, і той працював не щодня.

— Наступний, — сказала Ніна, відчиняючи віконце.

— Я до вас уже втретє приходжу! Знайдіть нарешті мого листа! Та що ви за люди такі! — кричав чоловік, вихлюпуючи негатив на Ніну.

— Вашого листа немає… Він відправлений, оскільки термін зберігання вже вийшов, — Ніна повідомила «радісну» новину, і чоловік з силою вдарив по стійці. Вона тріснула і впала, зачепивши Ніну. Але замість того, щоб заспокоїтися і вибачитися, чоловік почав ще сильніше громити меблі. Невідомо, чим би все скінчилося, якби в ситуацію не втрутився один з відвідувачів. Як з’ясувалося згодом, він працював у поліції, і йому вдалося заспокоїти порушника. Він же відвіз чоловіка в поліцію, щоб притягнути до відповідальності.

Поштове відділення довелося закрити раніше, але відвідувачі самі розбіглися, коли хуліган трощив меблі, тож крім майна і Ніни, ніхто не постраждав.

Клавдія Семенівна надала Ніні першу допомогу, а наступного дня працівниць відділку викликали до поліції для дачі свідчень.

Ніну опитував той самий поліцейський, Юрій. У той момент вона подумала, що чоловік у формі — це той ідеал, який зміг би її захистити не тільки від хулігана, але й від усіх життєвих негараздів. Очевидно, у її погляді Юрій і розгледів те саме зацікавлення і надію. Виявилося, що він не одружений і не проти поспілкуватися у неформальній обстановці.

Юрій запросив Ніну в гості в один з вихідних днів.

З сином погодилася посидіти Клавдія Семенівна, і Ніна з радістю вирушила на побачення. Ніна не приховувала, що у неї є син, Олексій, а от Юрій недоговорив про важливу обставину… Пізніше з’ясувалося, що він жив з матір’ю. І Зінаїда Євгенівна була в їхній родині «поганим поліцейським». Дома Юрій ставав підкаблучником, маминим улюбленцем, і вона наказувала, як хотіла. Але Ніна дізналася про це тільки тоді, коли Юрій запропонував жити разом.

— Тобі треба познайомитися з моєю мамою. Вона у мене справжнє чудо, — сказав він.

— Зінаїда Євгенівна знає про мене?

— Так. І їй не терпиться дізнатися тебе ближче.

Того вечора Ніна не змогла залишити сина з Клавдією Семенівною. Та й знайомство не передбачало таємниць. Тому Ніна, трохи хвилюючись, взяла Олексія і пішла на побачення.

Зінаїда Євгенівна одразу ж задала питання відверто:

— Це що за хлопчик?

— Мій син.

— Нам з дітьми наречена не потрібна, — заявила вона, змусивши Ніну застигнути.

— Заходьте, не стійте на порозі, — сказав Юра. Чи чув він слова матері чи ні, Ніна не зрозуміла. Вона хотіла піти, але Юра за руку затягнув її в квартиру і зачинив двері. — Мама пирогів напекла, йдемо до столу.

При слові пироги Олексій оживився. Він був досить активною дитиною, чим дуже дратував Зінаїду Євгенівну. Вона з першого погляду не злюбила хлопчика і вирішила у що б то не стало відвадити наречену.

Але Юра був налаштований рішуче. Ніна йому подобалася, і він закохався. Вперше слово матері для нього стало не головним. І тоді Зінаїда Євгенівна вирішила діяти іншим способом. Вона на деякий час відступила.

Ніна з Олексієм переїхали до Юри, а Зінаїда Євгенівна затихла.

— Ось одружимося ми з тобою, Ніно, і будемо жити довго та щасливо. Дитину народимо… — мріяв Юрій. — Квартиру твою продати треба. Навіщо їй пусткою стояти? Об’єднаємо капітали та вкладемося у велику. Чотирикімнатну візьмемо!

— Що тут об’єднувати. У твоєї сиротки немає нічого, окрім нащадка, — незадоволено скривилася Зінаїда Євгенівна. Вона була проти весілля, вважаючи, що для сина краще підійшла б забезпечена та самостійна дівчина без «вантажу».

Але Юра вважав інакше. Хоча з сином Ніни він не займався і уникав його. Хлопчик тягнувся до нього, але отримував у відповідь лише ігнорування або сварки. Ніна ж сподівалася, що з часом ситуація налагодиться і сама займалася з дитиною. Але чим більше часу вони жили разом, тим сильніше Юрій ревнував її до сина. А Зінаїда Євгенівна лише підливала масло у вогонь.

Ніна намагалася приділяти увагу всім, але Олексій вимагав все більше турботи, а Юрій все більше ласки. Почалися сварки. Але замість того, щоб знайти рішення проблеми, Ніна виявила, що вагітна і не змогла приховати цю новину від сім’ї.

— Будеш вдома сидіти, нічого тобі працювати, — сказав ревнивий Юра, замкнувши її вдома з матір’ю та сином. Зінаїда Євгенівна не стала довго ходити навколо та й сказала Ніні в обличчя:

— Якщо хочеш заміж за мого сина, здавай свій непорозуміння куди слід!

— Куди слід?! — зблідла Ніна.

— В дитбудинок, звісно! Не строй із себе дурненьку, все ти сама розумієш! Скоро народиться нормальна дитина, від Юрочки. А цей… знайдений, нікому не потрібен.

— Та як ви можете таке говорити?! Це жива людина, а не лялька! Я сама виросла в дитячому будинку і знаю, що це таке! Мій син житиме зі мною, хочете ви цього чи ні.

— Це ми ще побачимо.

— Юра любить мене і не допустить цього…

— Тебе, може, і любить, а відплодок твій йому поперек горла. Ще побачиш…

Ніна довго плакала після цієї розмови. А потім взяла себе в руки і тихо зібрала речі, щоб піти. На щастя, її квартиру не встигли ні здати, ні продати.

Зінаїда Євгенівна не стала зупиняти невістку сина.

— Іди і не повертайся, — сказала вона вслід.

Але Юрій, дізнавшись, що Ніна пішла потайки, прийшов у лють. Він приїхав до Ніни і почав стукати в двері. Ніні довелося відчинити.

— Повернися додому, Ніна. Я без тебе не можу.

— Твоя мати ненавидить мого сина… — зі сльозами сказала вона.

— З нею розберуся сам. Поїхали.

Ніна повірила Юрію, а даремно.

З тієї пори її життя стало нестерпним. Він контролював кожен її крок, а свекруха, зрозумівши, що її план не вдався, почала будувати новий, ще більш жорстокий. Вона щось підсипала Юрі в їжу, обмовляючи на Ніну. Той і раніше був ревнивим, але став зовсім некерованим. Коли Ніна пішла до магазину і вирішила трохи прогулятися з сином, він з кулаками накинувся на неї, вирішивши, що вона йому зрадила.

Юрія ніби підмінили. Він почав підіймати руку на Ніну, а та не знала, як від нього втекти, оскільки зовсім він її з дому не випускав. Свекруха дивилася на все і казала:

— Позбудься Олексія, якщо хочеш, аби Юра став таким, як раніше.

Таке життя негативно вплинуло на здоров’я Ніни, дитину вона втратила, а Олексій почав заїкатися. Урок, який дала їй життя, став надто жорстоким. Але якби не викидень, у Ніни не було б можливості втекти з цього пекла, в яке перетворилося її життя і життя її сина.

Потрапивши до лікарні, вона розповіла медсестрі про те, що відбувалося в її родині, і їй допомогли. Звісно, ні про яке весілля більше й мови не йшло, хоча Юрій дуже вибачався перед Ніною, шкодуючи про те, що накоїв.

— Словно пелена перед глазами была. Сам не свой, прости! — виправдовувався він, а Зінаїда Євгенівна лише посміхалася. Вона домоглася свого і залишилася задоволена.

Проте Юра приїжджав до Ніни. Просив повернутися і не міг її відпустити. Чергував біля дверей і погрожував, що якщо вона не повернеться, він помре.

А одного разу він просидів під дверима всю ніч…

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She lifted it to her ear as with any phone and waited. “Hello?” Her son’s voice was surprised. “Mum? Everything okay?” “All’s well,” she replied, a strange pride kindling. “Just wanted to check. It worked.” “There you go!” he laughed. “I told you. Well done! But it’s cheaper to call on the messenger now, remember.” “How…?” she faltered. “I’ll show you next time. I’m at work—can’t talk now.” She ended the call, pressing the red phone. Her heart pounded—but she’d done it. On her own. A couple of hours later, a notification pinged. The family chat lit up: “Daisy: Granny, how are you?” A tiny reply box blinked below. She studied it, then gingerly tapped the box. The keyboard appeared. Letters were small but visible. She tapped, one by one: “F” missed, landed “v”. Quickly erased. Tried again. Ten minutes to type: “All good. Having tea.” Missed a letter but left it. Pressed send. A moment later, Daisy replied: “Wow! Did you do that yourself?” Then a heart. She caught herself smiling. She’d written. Her words, sharing space with theirs. That evening, Val Peterson knocked, jam in hand. “Heard you got one of those… what do you call ‘em… clever phones!” Val cackled, slipping off her shoes. “Smartphone,” Mrs. Dawson corrected. It still sounded far too young for her—but she found herself enjoying the word. “And? It hasn’t bitten you yet?” “Just beeps at me—no buttons.” Mrs. Dawson laughed. “World’s upside down.” “My grandson wants me to get one. ‘Everyone’s got to have one, Gran!’ But I tell him, too late for me. Let them play with their internets.” ‘Too late’ hurt. She’d felt the same. But now something in her room seemed to say: Not yet. At least, give it a chance. A few days on, her son called: he’d booked her GP appointment—online. “How?” she asked. “Via the government website—everything’s there now. You could do it too. Your username and password are on a slip in the phone drawer.” She opened it—a neat slip of instructions, cryptic as a doctor’s prescription. Next day, she plucked up her courage. Switched on the phone, found the browser icon her son had shown her in passing. Tapped, typed in the address, cross-checking each letter from the slip. Twice she got it wrong, twice erased, painstaking. At last, the site loaded: blue-and-white stripes, unfamiliar options. “Enter username.” She read, out loud. “Password.” Typing the username was hard enough. The password—a tangle of letters and numbers—was an ordeal. The onscreen keyboard kept switching, then disappeared. At one point, she pressed the wrong button and the field cleared. She muttered, startled by her own annoyance. Finally, she gave up and phoned her son on the landline. “I can’t do it,” she said. “Your passwords are torture.” “Mum, don’t worry,” he assured. “I’ll come over and show you again.” “You’re always coming and showing me, then you leave and I’m alone with it.” A silence stretched. “I know,” he said at last. “But work’s mad. How about I send Archie—he’s better with tech anyway.” She agreed, but felt heavy-hearted. Without them, she was helpless—a burden needing constant explanations. That evening, Archie arrived, kicked off his trainers and joined her on the sofa. “Let’s see, Gran—what’s stumping you?” She showed him. “It’s these words, these buttons. I worry I’ll ruin everything.” “You can’t break anything,” he shrugged. “Worst case, you log out. Then we just log in again.” He explained calmly, fingers dancing over the screen. Where to press, how to switch languages, find GP details. “See—here’s your booking. If you can’t make it, you cancel here.” “What if I cancel by accident?” “Then you just book again. No biggie.” For him: no biggie. For her—a mountain. After he left, she sat with the phone for a long time. This little screen seemed to test her daily: another login, another ‘connection error’. The world once seemed so simple: call, arrange, show up. Now you had to master buttons, passwords, and pop-ups too. A week later, her check-up was nearly due. She woke groggy, her blood pressure swinging. She remembered her appointment was two days later. She decided to check. Switched on, opened the website as Archie had shown. Searched the booking page—her name was missing. Her heart plummeted. She scrolled up, down. Blank. She was sure she hadn’t touched anything. Or had she? Last night, she’d tried to view ‘cancel appointment’ to learn how it worked. Perhaps she’d pressed something by accident. Panic rose. No appointment meant a crowded walk-in queue—claustrophobic, coughing strangers. She felt giddy. She almost called her son. Then remembered: this was his busiest week. She imagined him glaring at his screen, apologising to colleagues: “Sorry, it’s my mum—again with the phone.” Shame prickled. She steadied herself. Sat, breathed. Thought of Archie, but he had classes—and she didn’t want to be rescued again. She eyed the phone. It was both the problem and, possibly, the answer. Carefully, she went back to the site, logged in. Her hands trembled but she tried to be exact. Yes—the appointment slot was empty. This time she clicked ‘Book Appointment’. Picked her GP, selected the nearest date—a day later than planned, but still soon. Pressed ‘Confirm’. The screen ‘thought’ a moment, then: “Successfully booked.” There, in black and white. She read it twice, three times. Relief seeped in. She’d done it—alone. To be sure, she went one step farther. She opened the messenger, found the chat with her GP—her son had set it up—and pressed the microphone: “Hello, this is Hope Dawson. My blood pressure’s not great. I’ve booked to see you in two days, in the morning. If you have time, please let me know.” She released the mic. The message sent; a little ‘tick’ appeared beside it. After a couple minutes, a reply: “GOT IT. SEE YOU THEN. IF YOU FEEL WORSE, CALL STRAIGHT AWAY.” The tension faded. Booking restored, GP notified—and all through that tiny screen. That night, she messaged the family chat: “Booked doctor online—myself.” She’d misspelt a word, but let it go. The meaning was clear. Daisy replied first: “Wow! You’re better than me.” Then her daughter-in-law: “Mum, proud of you.” Last, her son: “Told you! You’d manage.” She read their replies, feeling something quietly expand inside. She wouldn’t join in all their digital chatter or memes, but a fine thread now joined her to them—one she could tug for a reply. At her next appointment, all went smoothly. Afterwards, she decided to try something new. Daisy had mentioned sharing silly food and cat pictures with friends. At first, Mrs. Dawson had scoffed, but underneath, she’d envied their little glimpses into each other’s day—she had only her radio and the window. One bright morning, sunlight glinting on the glass jars of seedlings on the sill, she opened the phone camera. The kitchen appeared on screen, slightly surreal. She angled it at the seedlings. Pressed the button. A gentle click. The photo was a little fuzzy, but charming—green shoots pushing through earth, sunlight striped across the table. She thought the timid little plants looked much like herself with her phone—reaching for the light, feeling the weight of earth. She sent the photo to the family chat. Typed, “My tomatoes are coming along.” Sent it. Replies flooded in. Daisy with a snapshot of her desk, buried in books. Her daughter-in-law—a salad with “Learning from the best.” Her son—a tired but grinning selfie at work: “Mum’s got tomatoes, I’ve got spreadsheets. Who’s winning at life?” She laughed out loud. The kitchen no longer seemed empty; at that little table sat everyone, from all their far-off cities, together now. Of course, it wasn’t always smooth. Once, she accidentally sent a voice note to the group chat, muttering about the news on TV. The grandchildren howled with laughter; her son wrote, “Mum, get your own radio show.” She blushed, then joined in. Why not? At least her voice was heard. Sometimes she mixed up chats; once, she messaged everyone at once to ask how to delete a picture. Archie replied with step-by-step instructions, Daisy admitted, “I don’t know either”, and her daughter-in-law sent a meme: “Mum, you’re our tech star!” She was still often muddled by the buttons, wary of the phone’s constant ‘update your system’ pleas, as if it wanted to change everything she’d finally mastered. But gradually, her fear faded. She realised she could now look up bus times, check the weather, even found an old-fashioned pie recipe—like the ones her mum used to make. When she saw the ingredients list, tears pricked her eyes. She didn’t tell anyone—she simply baked the pie, sent a photo to the chat, added, “Remembered how Gran did it.” Hearts, exclamation marks, and requests for the recipe returned. She took a photo of her handwritten list and sent it off. Gradually, she found herself glancing less at the old landline. It still hung there, but no longer the sole thread to the outside world. She had another now: invisible, but strong. One evening, as dusk settled and windows twinkled across the street, she sat in her armchair, phone in hand, scrolling through the family chat: photos from her son’s work, Daisy’s selfies with friends, Archie’s quick jokes, bits of news from her daughter-in-law. Scattered among these, her tentative but growing contributions: the tomato picture, her pie recipe, a question about prescriptions. She realised she no longer felt like an observer through glass. True, she didn’t grasp half the slang her grandchildren used nor could she conjure up those playful smiley faces. But her messages were read. Her questions answered. Her photos ‘liked’, as Daisy called it. A soft ping broke the quiet—new message. Daisy: “Granny, I’ve got a maths test tomorrow. Can I call after and have a moan?” Mrs. Dawson smiled. Typed slowly, careful with each keystroke: “Call anytime. I’m always here to listen.” She pressed send. Then she set the phone on the table beside her tea. The flat was silent, but no longer empty. Somewhere, beyond walls and streets, calls and messages were waiting for her. She’d never be part of ‘the buzz’, as Archie called it, but she’d found a little corner of connection in this new world of screens. She finished her tea, turned off the kitchen light, and glanced at the phone—calm, unthreatening on the table. She knew, whenever she wished, she could reach out and her loved ones would be there. And for now, that was enough.

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