I’ve Already Taken Care of It My Way

I had already taken my share, I thought, and that was that.

No, dear Emily, the motherinlaw snapped, you gave birth for yourselves, so look after little Andrew yourself. Im not fit to fuss with children any longer, she added, her voice hoarse.

Mrs. Margaret, it isnt a great deal, Emily replied, bewildered. Hes not even three yet, a clever, calm boy. All Im asking is that you take him in for a meal, turn on the telly, and then hell simply wait for us. It wont be forever; soon hell be on his own.

Three, seven what does it matter? the old woman retorted. A child is a child, and thats a massive responsibility! My back aches, my blood pressure is high No, Ive already had my fill of this.

Emilys cheeks flushed with anger and hurt. She said nothing more, simply hung up the receiver.

If the request had come from anyone else, she would have accepted the refusal. But Margarets case was peculiar; her health failed her in the most selective ways.

All summer the motherinlaw spent time at her cottage in the Kentish countryside. The fresh air seemed to work miracles; there she was free of the pressure and back pain that plagued her back home. Moreover, she managed to start a modest familyrun venture.

Listen, Emily, Margaret said one afternoon, youll be buying potatoes for the winter, wont you? I was thinking why should you hand your money to strangers? Let me sell you mine, at a discount, just to recoup my costs. It would be a winwin for both of us.

The potato trade was only the beginning. Margaret also offered apples, cherries and even aubergines. No one in the household liked aubergines, yet both Emily and her husband John were eager to help the ailing, supposedly aged woman.

A year earlier Margaret had demanded a holiday in Brighton for her birthday.

Well, I know Brighton is pricey, especially with a baby, John said generously. But there are other options. I could make a modest trip to Brighton myself; I havent been away for over twenty years. Raising a son left little time for such things.

They tightened their belts to appease Margaret. Symbolic NewYear gifts, a threadbare coat, a postponed visit to Emilys parents in Manchesterall were offered, mostly at Johns urging.

At last Margarets wish was granted: she spent a week on the seaside, basking in sun and sand, her blood pressure never giving her trouble.

Her son, meanwhile, sent her a third of his wages each month, sometimes bringing groceries and a few extra pounds when needed.

One day Margaret called in distress. Oh dear, weve got a pest problem. Ill have to call an exterminator and probably replace the sofa. John, will you help me? You wont leave me alone, will you? If your father were still alive wed manage ourselves, but now Im on my own Ill have to pay the pest control, buy a new sofa, haul away the old one I cant imagine the cost.

John did what he could to assist his mother, though Margaret was slow to return the favour.

Margarets help was never free. She could look after Andrew for a few hours, yet by evening she would bill Emily for a bakery roll eaten in the park and for a toy purchased at the shopan item so expensive that Emily and John could never have afforded it on their own. Their funds were already stretched thin, largely thanks to Margarets generous pricing.

I couldnt refuse, Margaret sighed later. He was crying for that little wooden horse, so I bought it. I couldnt leave him hungry, and I only have one modest pension. Its still cheaper than a nanny.

It sounded reasonable, yet Emily felt as though she were a client rather than a family member, paying for a service.

They would not have liked to burden the elderly woman under any other circumstances, but their situation left them no choice. A few years earlier Emily and John had bought a flat in a newly promised development on the outskirts of Birmingham.

Its still the edge of town now, John boasted, but in a couple of years therell be nurseries and schools. The plans are all set.

In reality the only school was a fencedin pit overgrown with grass. They had to look for alternatives.

The nearest school lay half an hour away by bus, requiring two changes. For a firstgrader that route seemed not only cumbersome but also unsafe. By contrast, the walk from the school to Margarets cottage was a mere five minutes.

Naturally Emily turned to Margaretthe very woman they had been supporting. She thought it logical, sensible, and convenient for all. But Margarets refusal hit Emily like a punch to the gut.

There were no nearer schools. Moving away was not an option. Their parents lived too far. Quitting their jobs? They could barely make ends meet as it was. Every road seemed to end in a deadend until, in a surge of helpless resentment, Emily recalled Margarets words: Its still cheaper than a nanny.

A nanny

That mother of yours refused to help us, Emily told John that evening, but I have a plan. Well cut the allowance we give to your mother and redirect that money to a nanny.

John raised an eyebrow, then scowled. He was adamant about his mothers welfare.

You cant be serious! I cant stop helping her. She raised me. Shes on a single pension, her years are behind her. She cant manage everything alone!

John, remember she isnt starving. She feeds herself from the cottage garden and even trades vegetables. Sometimes we take more from her than we need, Emily retorted.

How much does she actually earn? Pennies! If private traders had her produce, theyd pay more!

Emily sighed heavily. Perhaps there was a kernel of truth, but it solved nothing.

What do you propose then? We cant afford a fulltime nanny, and I cant quit my job. Were not asking her for money, just a manageable help Your mother is a capable, shrewd woman; shell figure something out. But Andrew cant wait. In the end, your mother herself said: look after him yourself. Lets heed her advice.

Thus began a long, arduous discussion. John spoke of debt, Emily of guilt and manipulation by his mother. It was a clash of blind filial love against stark financial reality. The latter won.

John mustered the courage to inform his mother of the impending changes to the family budget. Margaret reacted with fury, accusing Emily of every imaginable sin, shouting that the daughterinlaw was turning her son against her and stripping away the last crumbs. Yet John stood firm, defending Andrews interests.

Mother, you left us no choice, he said finally.

Meanwhile Emily did not sit idle. In the parents WhatsApp group she met Anne, a mother of one of Andrews classmates, who lived near the school. Anne, currently on maternity leave with her second child, agreed gladly to collect both boys after lessons, prepare a simple lunch and watch them until eveningfor a modest fee.

A month passed and Anne kept her promise. Each day Emily retrieved a wellfed, happy Andrew. He got along famously with his classmate, they played together and watched cartoons. The household budget even began to level out: as it turned out, Margarets assistance cost far more than a modest nanny.

Admittedly, Margaret had started off sulky, trying to tug at their sympathies, but she never succeeded in getting the reaction she wanted and eventually softened. Her interest in the grandson waned as well.

Time settled everything into its proper place. Perhaps at one point Emily and John might have let themselves be crushed beneath the weight of obligations, but they acted out of love. In the end they found the strength to say no and channel their limited resources where they truly matteredinto the safety and happiness of their own son. After all, they had children for themselves, and there was no one else to tend to Andrew.