I Won’t Let My Husband Provide for Another Man’s Child

I wont support another mans child.

How much does your ex give you in maintenance payments?

Rebecca nearly choked on her tea. The question struck her like an icy wind on a summers dayseemingly harmless, yet bitter all the same.

Evelyn Bennett sat across the table, her gaze fixed and expectant. Between them, the apple tart Rebecca had baked in Evelyns honour lay untouched, growing cold. Apple tart had always been Evelyns favourite, although that seemed quite irrelevant now.

We get by, Rebecca said, trying to smile, though her lips wouldnt quite cooperate.

Thats not what Im asking, pressed Evelyn.

Well, thats rather a personal question

Evelyn pushed her teacup away and folded her hands on the table, her fingers with their neat, pale manicure tapping softly on the tablecloth.

Becky, Im only asking because it matters. Jack started primary school this year, didnt he?

Rebecca nodded, fully aware now of where her mother-in-law was leadingthe destination shed wished so deeply to avoid.

School uniforms, books, new backpack. Clubs and after-school things. All adds up, doesnt it? Evelyn counted off the expenses on her fingers. Youre spending more, right?

Thats right, Rebecca replied quietly.

So whos footing the bill? Jacks father, or my Edward?

A heavy silence filled the little kitchen. Beyond the window, a car horn sounded; a childs laughter echoed somewhere upstairs. But here, amongst the cheery curtains Rebecca had sewn herself last spring, the air suddenly grew thick and still.

Rebecca cleared her throat.

We manage, she repeated, her own words sounding pitiful even to herself. Edward doesnt complain.

Evelyn sniffed, short and sharp, like a disturbed cat. Of course he doesnt complain. He takes after his fatheralways too patient. But it looks to me as though my son is keeping the whole lot of you afloat. You, and your Jack.

Mrs Bennett

But her mother-in-law was already donning her coat, checking her handbag. When she turned, her eyes held no angerjust a kind of tiredness, and something else for which Rebecca had no name.

Youll have to look for extra work, Becky, Evelyn said, her voice unexpectedly gentlethough that gentleness stung all the more. I didnt raise my son to support someone elses child.

The door clicked shut.

Rebecca was left standing in the hallway, staring down at the Welcome mat.

That evening brought the familiar sounds of home: Jack building with his blocks in his room, Edward clattering about in the kitchen as he warmed dinner. It was an ordinary evening for an ordinary family. But Rebecca couldnt force from her mind Evelyns words, turning again and again like a needle stuck in a groove.

She waited until Jack was asleep, until she and Edward were alone in the kitchen, just the two of them. Edward, final cup of tea in hand, scrolled through the news on his tablet, looking as content and at ease as could be in his faded jumper. Rebecca almost didnt bring it up. Almost.

Ed, are you happy? I mean… do you ever feel its too muchwhat you spend on Jack?

He looked up from the tablet, genuinely surprised.

Becky, what on earth are you talking about?

She shrugged. Just wondering, thats all.

He set the tablet aside and turned to face her, his bafflement completely sincere, and Rebecca felt a flicker of shame.

Jacks my son, Edward said simply, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. What does it matter whats written on paper? Im the one raising him. I love him. What costs? I dont keep a ledger for loving him.

Rebecca nodded, managing a smile. Those were the words shed needed to hear. But somewhere deep inside, where the light struggled to reach, a chill remainedEvelyns words had rooted themselves, sharp and unfair, impossible to simply pluck out.

Half a year slipped by

Rebecca sat on the edge of the bath, staring at two blue lines in utter disbelief. When she told Edward, he swept her into his arms and spun her about the hallway like a schoolboy. Jack hopped alongside, demanding explanations, and upon hearing hed soon be a big brother, declared he wanted a little sister and that hed be the one to teach her to build castles.

The pregnancy passed easily, almost without fanfare. In March, little Grace arrivedsmall, wrinkled, with Edwards eyes and Rebeccas nose. Jack kept his promise, spending hours by her cot, guarding her sleep and admonishing anyone who dared speak too loudly near his new sister.

Rebecca hoped, now, for peace. That when Evelyn saw her granddaughter, she would soften, and accept their family as it was.

She was mistaken.

Evelyn turned up a fortnight after Grace came home. Rebecca, Edward and Evelyn sat in the kitchen while Grace slept and Jack was at school.

After a strained cup of tea, Evelyn set down her mug.

Youre on maternity leave now, arent you, Becky? she began. So the household budgets shrunk, but the expenses for Jack stay the same. How do you plan to make up the difference?

Ice seized Rebeccas chest, squeezing the air from her lungs.

I really think you ought to ring Jacks father, Evelyn continued, determinedly ignoring her daughter-in-laws pale face. Ask him for more support, or at least a bit extra. Its his duty to look after his child. Let Edward keep his money for his own family for once

Edwards hand struck the table with sudden force, rattling cups and sending a teaspoon tumbling to the floor.

Mum! His voice shookRebecca had never heard him so fierce. Enough.

Evelyn drew herself up, pursing her lips with wounded dignityas if a seasoned general, unused to retreat, now had to defend her ground.

I only want whats best for you and Grace, she protested, voice trembling. Is it a crime to care for my son?

What are you worried about? Edward pressed, jaw clenched. That Im happy? That I love my family?

That youre spending your time and money raising another mans child! Evelyn cried, hands thrown skyward. You have a daughter of your own blood now! And youre still supporting that boy.

Rebecca shrank in her chair, wishing she could dissolve, vanish altogether. That boyher Jack, who adored Edward, who called him Dad, who made cards for every birthday and Fathers Daythat boy.

Jack is my son, Edward stated, each word deliberate and final. I dont give a toss what his birth certificate says. Im the one here for him. I love him. Hes as much mine as Grace is. Were a family, Mum. If you cant accept that, then thats your problemno one elses.

Evelyn rose so violently that her chair skidded and banged against the fridge.

Youre throwing your life away! she shrieked, fury tipping into hysteria. Ruining yourself for her and her boy! This wasnt what I wanted for you!

From down the hall came the faint, frightened cry of a child. Grace, woken by shouting, whimpered, her distress growing louder.

Rebecca rushed from the kitchen, scooping her daughter up, whispering sweet, empty comforts. Behind her, voices tangledEdward arguing, Evelyn defendingbut she could hear nothing over the wild rush of blood in her ears. Soon, somewhere deeper in the flat, the front door slammed. The whole house seemed to shudder with the impact.

A hush fell.

Gradually, Grace calmed, her tiny breaths slow and soft against Rebeccas shoulder. Rebecca stood there, rooted to the spot, terrified to turn around and see what remained.

Finally, the door squeaked. Edward entered, moving quietly, his face drawn but tranquil. He wrapped his arms around Rebecca and their daughter, and they stood that way for an age, together in silence.

Mums a difficult woman, Edward murmured, lips in her hair. But I wont let her darken our doorstep for a while. She wont be coming round.

Rebecca nodded, the sting of unshed tears in her eyes, unable to find words.

But they had withstood it, their little family. Against all, they endured.