З життя
Я переконала свекра продати будинок матері, щоб вона переїхала до нас, а потім відправила її до будинку для літніх людей.
Переконала Ярослава запропонувати своїй матері продати будинок, щоб вона переїхала до нас, а потім відправила свекруху до будинку для літніх людей.
Ми довго жили в однокімнатній квартирі, яка була не дуже великою. Там у нас народився син Марко. Чоловік працював на двох роботах, щоб накопичити на придбання нової, більшої квартири. І коли у нас була майже вся сума, а до купівлі трикімнатної квартири залишалося зовсім трохи, ціни на житло різко злетіли. Одна рішення зруйнувало наше життя.
Я запропонувала чоловікові, щоб його мама продала свій будинок у селі, переїхала до нас, а ми, таким чином, отримали б недостатню суму. Ярослав пішов до матері, запропонував їй переїхати і продати будинок. Мати довго думала, любила своє просте господарство разом із котом Мурчиком, але не змогла відмовити синові. Вона погодилася.
Будинок продали, разом з Ярославом ми купили квартиру і всі разом відзначили новосілля. Бабусю поселили в окремій недуже великій кімнаті, Марка в іншій, а ми жили у найбільшій. Спочатку все було добре.
Я доглядала за свекрухою, а Ярослав був задоволений, що мама поруч і під хорошим доглядом.
На жаль, через два роки свекруха стала вимогливішою, більше хворіла і ослабла. У неї також були проблеми з пам’яттю. Інколи я не могла залишити її взагалі вдома. Її присутність почала мене тиснути. Вона у всьому шукала проблеми, постійно мене критикувала.
Потроху я почала обговорювати ідею будинку для літніх людей. Здавалося, що там люди похилого віку живуть добре, забезпечені цілодобовим доглядом та медичною допомогою. Ярослав довго пручався, його мати також. Але я не відступала від свого плану і так довго вмовляла чоловіка, що він нарешті здався.
Свекруха довго мовчки слухала наші постійні суперечки і, нарешті, сказала, що раз так вирішив її син, вона поїде та оселиться в будинку для літніх людей. Ми дуже старалися обрати найкраще місце. Довго переглядали різні будинки. Нарешті обрали.
Через місяць третя кімната в нашій квартирі звільнилася. Ярослав часто відвідував матір, на щастя, це було недалеко, але з часом відвідини затягувалися, часу стало менше, і настав момент, коли він взагалі не міг поїхати до неї.
Він зрозумів це через два місяці. Приїхав до матері і не міг вимовити ні слова. Зайшовши в кімнату, в якій вона жила, зміни просто вразили його. Перед ним сиділа сива, зморшкувата бабуся з сумними, згаслими очима. У кімнаті була ще сусідка, котра лежала, вкрита ковдрою, з виснаженими руками у вузловатих синіх жилах.
Ярославу стало дуже погано. Він повернувся додому і розповів мені про погіршення стану своєї матері. Це не викликало у мене жодних докорів сумління. Я лише знизала плечима: старість, що зробиш? Він мучився від провини, але я знала, що стан свекрухи буде погіршуватися, це неминуче.
Під час останнього відвідування Ярослава в будинку для літніх людей, його мати лежала обличчям до стіни, скільки він не розмовляв з нею, вона не повернулася. Наступну поїздку спланував за місяць, хотів вивезти її на прогулянку. Знав, що це багато часу, але був зайнятий на роботі, завершував важливі угоди і не мав можливості поїхати в будинок для літніх людей.
Через три тижні отримав дзвінок. Йому повідомили, що мати померла три години тому. Її стан погіршувався, але вона категорично зажадала не повідомляти про це синові. Це було її останнє прохання. Вона не хотіла його турбувати, адже у нього не було для неї місця ні в домі, ні в серці.
Ярослав мовчав, зім’яв папір у руках, вийшов на ґанок і спершись спиною об стіну. Біль просто рвав його зсередини, душа страждала, здавалось, виверталась навиворіт. Я не могла йому допомогти. Знаю, що він відчував, нібито підвів матір. Був похмурий. Потім покликав мене до кімнати і сказав, що йде.
Витягнув з шафи валізу, закинув туди свої речі. Я дивилася здивовано. – Куди ти йдеш? Це ж не моя провина, що твоя мати померла, – намагалася я виправдовуватися. Хотіла його зупинити, але він мене відштовхнув.
– Хочу бути далеко від тебе, – сказав крізь стиснуті зуби, підняв валізу та з силою зачинив двері.
Ярослав не розлучився зі мною, але категорично не хоче мене бачити. Він винайняв маленьку квартиру, працює, зустрічається з нашим сином. Я знаю від нього, що щотижня Ярослав відвідує могилу матері, благаючи про пробачення. Він не може пробачити собі, що я його вмовила віддати матір до будинку для літніх людей, а собі те, що погодився. Я не знаю, як його повернути?
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