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Я приїхав забрати породистого котика.

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В черкаське місто приїхав я, аби забрати українського котика. Не тому, що мріяв такого мати, а тому що вичитав в інтернеті, начебто його мають вигнати на вулицю. Таке трапляється. На жаль, бувають різні заводчики. Тому, навіть не розглянувши фото кошеняти як слід, я вирушив.

Коли відчинили двері, до моїх ніг підкотився маленький пухнастик з непропорційно великою головою, маленькими притиснутими вушками і широкими лапками. На худенькому тільці це виглядало страшенно.
– Ось, – сказала жінка. – Лишився останній. Врод не казкової краси. Його навіть безкоштовно ніхто не бере. А лізе до своєї мами, та його б’є. І бешкетує безупинно.
– Одним словом, вреднюга, – підсумував я.
– Саме так, – підтакнув чоловік і запросив мене перекусити.
Відразу ж цей маленький пакосник якимось дивом поцупив у мене з тарілки шматок ковбаси. А коли ми втрьох кинулися до нього в коридор, виявилося, що в моїх черевиках вже були маленькі калюжі.
Вреднюга сидів поруч і облизувався. Дивився на мене знизу вгору своїми величезними зеленими очима. Шматок ковбаси проковтнув не пережовуючи.
– Неподобство якесь! – зітхнула жінка.
– Шибеник, – додав чоловік і замахнувся на нього газетою.
Кошеня згорнулось і заплющило очі, чекаючи удару. Я встиг перехопити руку з газетою і сказав:
– Це ж якийсь супер непослух – вреднюга, як кажуть. Беру його.
Вреднюга відкрив очі і уважно подивився на мене.
– Ви мазохіст? – жартома спитала жінка.
– Насправді, я садо-мазохіст, – виправив я її.
– Що, що? Як? – з жахом поглянули на мене чоловік з дружиною.
– Кажу, садочок у мене є невеликий, і там я займаюсь мазохізмом. А цей шибеник буде в ньому мені допомагати. І я, нахилившись, погладив маленького.

Було літо, тож, виливши з черевиків “сюрприз” від цього магілкіце, зняв носки і посадив його у переноску, вирушив босоніж до машини. А там, трохи подумавши, відкрив переноску і, витягнувши малюка, посадив його до себе на коліна. І поїхав.

Вреднюга кілька хвилин дивився на мене, потім замуркотів та й притулився до мого живота своєю великою головою. Це було кохання. Не з першого погляду. Але назавжди.

Вреднюга швидко зростав і скоро перетворився просто на Вреда. В усіх відношеннях став пропорційним великим українським котом.
Справа в тому, що вдома він був тихіший води і нижчий трави. Просто якийсь ангел. Лагідний, добрий, уважний і розуміючий. Але щойно вийшов би в садок…

І тоді починалося. Сирена на 120 децибел вмикалася, від якої у сусідки тиск зашкалював, а тарілки з рук випадали. Вред «виходив на ви». Нападав на метеликів, гусениць, мишей, щурів, бабок, котів, собак будь-яких розмірів і мастей, варто було тим наблизитися до його саду. Незадовго метелики облітали наш сад стороною, а собаки тягли господарів на інший бік вулиці.

– Вреднюга, вреднюга ж ти! – кричав я йому, вибігаючи з хати, коли він нападав на чергову собаку, яка занадто наблизилась. – Залиш бідолашну собачку в спокої. Вона ж нічого поганого не хотіла! … Я вибачався перед усіма сусідами і тяжко зітхав. Виходу з ситуації не було.

Коротше кажучи, після того, як вчасно розігнав усю живність навколо, Вреду стало сумно. Не стало кого ганяти. Доводити своє перевагу нікому, він виходив у садок в надії на чергове зіткнення.

Я, за інерцією, лаяв його за нахил до насилля, за шкодливий характер і за криви погляди сусідів. Але Вред уперто вискакував у сад. Втім, зойків я не чув уже кілька місяців, — раптом відзначив я і здивувався. І тут…

Тут почувся стукіт у двері, що ведуть у садок. Ймовірно, її зачинив порив вітру. Підійшовши ближче, я побачив, як Вред, розгойдуючись, б’ється головою в неї, намагаючись відчинити.

Я розчинив її, і він, вилетівши кулею назовні, зник у напрямку кущів. Я побіг за ним, очікуючи побачити нещасного кота чи безвинного пса, що заблукав у наш садок. Важко лаючи Вреда і благаючи не починати бійку, я зупинився в маленькому закутку, утвореному кущами.

Мій Вред сидів і, роззявивши пащу, викидав із неї котячий корм, шматочки сиру, творогу і м’яса. Навпроти нього сиділо малюсіньке сіре кошеня. З його носика стікала краплина. Судячи з усього, він був з простудою. Кошеня мявкнуло і, потершись об Вреда, почало їсти.

Вред підняв свою велику голову і поглянув на мене очима, сповненими задоволенням. Він таки вирвався і нагодував свого улюбленця.

Мені стало зле, і я сів біля них навпочіпки.
– Вред. Ти, значить, усі ці місяці вигодовував котеня, а я тебе лаяв за це. Намагаючись не пускати в сад і всіляко перешкоджати?
Вред підійшов до мене і тронув мене головою знизу вгору, муркнув. Він мене пробачив.

Півгодини по тому ми їхали до ветеринара. До мого доброго знайомого. Тільки він дозволив привезти, крім кошеняти, ще й Вреда.

Тож, коли лікар узяв пухнастого малюка на стіл, щоб оглянути і провести необхідні процедури, Вред сидів осторонь. На стільці біля столу лікаря. Він піднявся на задні лапи і пильно стежив за тим, що людина в білому халаті робить з його улюбленцем.

Зробивши кілька уколів і промивши очі кошеняті, лікар повернувся на дивний звук. Я повернувся за ним.

Вред стояв так само, витягнувши шию в нашому напрямку. Але рот його був широко роззявлений, язик висунувся далеко вперед і рухався так, як у захеканої собаки. А сам Вред дрижав із великим тілом, начебто хтось зсередини бив по ньому молотом.

Лікар впустив малого на стіл і закричав:
– Тихо, тихо. Ну ж бо, заспокойся. Не смій! Мені тут лише твого інфаркту не вистачало. І, схопивши Вреда на руки, він кинувся до столу. Вколовши йому кілька уколів, поклав кота в переноску і сказав мені, що він проспить п’ять – шість годин.

– Знаєте, – говорив ветеринар, – бачив, щоб собаки… Але щоб кіт так хвилювався за якогось кошеня? Це, знаєте, перший раз за тридцять років моєї практики.
– Це не якесь, – зауважив я. – Це його кошеня.

Приїхавши додому, я витяг Вреда з переноски і поклав його на ліжко. Поруч влаштував котика. Малюк сперся головою у бік свого годувальника і заснув. Я теж задрімав у кріслі. А коли прокинувся, побачив, як Вред облизує свого малюка, а той, перевернувшись на спину, б’є його по голові всіма чотирьма лапами.

Я клацнув затвором фотоапарата.
– Мамко, Тато, Рятівник, Годувальник, Котя, – перераховував я услід можливі нові імена. На “Котя” Вред оглянувся і муркнув.

Тепер я його так і називаю – Котя. А малюк давно виріс. Він не відстає від свого батька, і той вчить його усім премудрощам. Як нападати на метеликів, гусениць, бабок, котів, собак… Ну, що сказати – справжній Вреднюга. Мій найулюбленіший кіт у світі!

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