З життя
«Куди це ти серед ночі? Чому дітей зібрала?» — запитав він. «Ми тебе залишаємо»
В ту ніч Дмитро повернувся додому трохи раніше – годинник ледь переступив північ. Він уже збирався переодягтися та лягти спати, коли раптом побачив дружину, яка поспішно вдягала куртку на сонну молодшу доньку. Поряд стояв син, похмурий, з незадоволеним виразом обличчя. Дмитро не розумів, що відбувається.
— Стоять! Куди це ти зібралася серед ночі? Нащо дітей будиш? – злісно кинув він, увірвавшись у хату.
— Ми йдемо. Я більше не можу так жити, – спокійно відповіла Оксана, дивлячись чоловікові в очі. Колись, не так давно, вона дивилася на них із захватом. Тепер же – лише з холодом.
— Та й вали! – заревів Дмитро, не зважаючи на те, як його крик налякав дітей. – Кому ти така з довбаним багажем потрібна? Дурна!
— Побачимо, – відповіла Оксана і, не озираючись, вийшла за двері.
Перший рік шлюбу був ніби казкою. Дмитро носив її на руках, був уважним, турботливим, гарним, впевненим у собі. Усі подруги заздрили. Лише мати пошепки казала: “Ох, натерпишся ти від цього панича”. Але Оксана лише махала рукою – з нею все буде інакше, адже вони люблять одне одного.
Коли народився син, у хаті почалися сварки. З’явилися недомовки, образу засідали в душі. Потім вона дізналася – у чоловіка коханка. Світ обрушився, але вона залишилася. Заради дитини, заради видимості родини. Потім – друга вагітність, донька. А за нею – часті відрядження Дмитра, безглузді пояснення, байдужість. Оксана все розуміла, але мовчала. Не тому, що була сліпою, а тому, що боялася. Куди йти з двома дітьми? Як жити?
Вона відчувала чужий запах на його речах, чула випадкові імена, одного разу він навіть назвав її “Лізочкою”. Але промовчала. Жила, як робот. Ранок, діти, робота. Влаштувалася касиркою у супермаркет. Копійчана зарплата, клопітка квартира, жодної допомоги. Але і це вона тягнула – тому що треба.
Одного вечора хтось поклав букет на її касу.
— Вам. Просто… дуже хочеться, щоб ви посміхнулися, – зніяковіло сказав покупець. Андрій, постійний клієнт, який завжди купував одне й те саме – хліб, ковбасу, каву.
— Оксано, ви закінчуєте? Провести вас?
Вона відмовилася. Потім – знову. І ще раз. Оксана не могла повірити, що комусь може бути діло до жінки з двома дітьми. Власний чоловік забув про них, не подзвонив жодного разу за рік. А цей чужак – питав, цікавився, піклувався.
Одного разу вона не витримала:
— У мене дві дитини!
— Чудово, – усміхнувся він. – Тоді на вихідні йдемо у зоопарк.
Вона здивувалася. А він навчив її сина грати в шашки, доньку – кататися на лижах. Біг у аптеку серед ночі, якщо хтось захворював. Оксана намагалася його відштовхнути, але він лише сміявся:
— Думаєш, я дозволю втратити таку жінку? Вийдеш за мене?
Минуло п’ять років. Оксана – одружена з Андрієм. У них четверо дітей – двоє спільних і двоє від першого шлюбу. І всі сусіди кажуть, наскільки вони схожі на нього.
— Вони й справді стають схожі на тебе, – шепоче вона йому вночі.
— А як інакше? Я їх люблю. Вони – частина тебе. Отже, і частина мене.
Життя іноді здається безвихідним, але варто лише знайти в собі сміливість зробити крок – і все зміниться. Найважче – перестати боятися. А далі – знайдеться той, хто візьме тебе разом із твоїм минулим, із твоїми дітьми, і зробить його своїм щастям.
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