Life, Like the Moon: Sometimes Full, Sometimes Waning I once believed our marriage was unshakeable…

LIFE, LIKE THE MOON: SOMETIMES FULL, SOMETIMES WANING

I always believed our marriage was as solid and permanent as the Universe itself. Sadly, life had other plans

I first met my future husband at medical school. By our fifth year, we married. As a wedding gift, my mother-in-law handed us tickets to France and the keys to our very own flat. That was just the start.

Once wed, we moved straight into a spacious three-bedroom flat. My in-laws were truly generous every year, they sponsored holidays for us across Europe. Tom and I were young and happy, with our whole lives ahead. Tom became a virologist, I a GP. We worked, we healed, we loved. Our two sons, Daniel and Charles, came into the world, completing our happiness.

Looking back now, I realise how overflowing that time was my life ran like a wide, full river. For ten years, I floated in luxury and ease, thanks to my marriage. Then, in a single moment, everything fell apart.

One afternoon, the doorbell rang. I answered to find a pretty but troubled-looking young woman at the threshold.

Who are you here for? I asked, trying to sound pleasant.

Are you Sophie? she stammered. If you are, Id like to come in. Intrigued, I stepped aside and let her through.

Up close, I noticed she was slightly pregnant.

My names Emma, she blurted out. Im ashamed to say this, but I love your husband. Tom loves me, too. Were having a baby.

Well thats unexpected, I managed, feeling the anger simmer.

Emma hesitated before pulling a dainty box from her coat pocket. Please, Sophie, take this, she insisted.

Inside was a gold ring.

Whats this for? You think you can buy my husband? I snapped, shutting the box. Tom isnt for sale. Take it back.

Tears pricked Emmas eyes. I mean no insult. Im so sorry for what Ive done to you. I dont know what to doI know you and your sons will suffer. My mother always told me, Fall for another woman’s husband, and you’ll ruin your life as well as hers.’ But I simply can’t imagine living without Tom. Please keep the ring. It might give me some peace.

For a fleeting second, I pitied her. But then, I wonderedwhod pity me? This woman had taken my happiness, and here I was feeling sorry for her. Waking to reality, I shoved her offering back and quickly showed her out. That was the moment my life began to unravel…

Later that day, Toms mother rang. She informed me Tom was leaving. She soon came herself, kindly asking if Id pack his things. In disbelief, I pointed to the wardrobe as she packed his bags quietly, using the suitcase shed brought.

Sophie, whatever happens, youll always be family, she tried to comfort me. Tom and Emmatheyre like calves: go where they will and find affection anywhere.

Within six months, Emma had given birth to a daughter. I later heard Tom had adopted Emmas child from her previous marriage as well. Over all that time, Tom never once visited our boys. He sent pocket money via his motherjust a few pounds here and there, supposedly as child maintenance during those lean years of the 1990s.

Stress landed me in hospital. During my absence, Toms mother and father took in Daniel and Charles, doted on them, and thoroughly spoilt them. When I got out, desperate to see my sons, they flatly refused to come home with me, preferring their grandmothers cooking and sweets.

Toms mother, hugging the boys to her, said gently, Let the lads stay with us while you sort the flat. Youll have to downsizeitll be hard to keep up bills on your own. One bedrooms plenty for you, isnt it?

So, back to my new, tiny flat I went, alone and dispirited. First I lost my husband, and then, it seemed, my children would follow.

Forced to sell our three-bedroom, I landed in a cramped, battered one-bed with peeling wallpaper, ancient plumbing, and creaky floorboards.

My sons stayed with their grandmother. On rare big holidays, I was allowed a visit.

Sophie, she said, voice soft but firm, dont unsettle the boys, please. Concentrate on finding happiness for yourself now.

Slowly, the boys drifted from me; our bond weakened for years. I fell into a deep gloom, the ache of loneliness sapping my will to live.

My own grandmother often said, Lifes like the moon: sometimes full, sometimes on the wane. Eventually, I saw things couldnt go on like that. Otherwise, I really would lose my mind. I was weary of being the good girl everyone wiped their feet on. After all, I had graduated med school with top marks.

Work sent me to a medical conference in Paris. There, I met a young Serbian doctor called Ivan. Somehow, words were unnecessary. We fell into a whirlwind romance.

But after ten days, I had to return home. I didnt want to leave. That brief encounter reawakened meI felt alive again! My eyes shone with life. Afterward, there were more acquaintances and farewells, but nothing serious.

One day, Toms mother remarked, Sophie, you look radiant. Like a woman in her prime! Yet, for all that, I remained alone.

Then, my best friend, Emily, announced she was leaving for Greece to marry a Greek man. Before she left for good, she invited me to visit.

Sophie, Ive had enough of English men. Always in the pub! I just want a normal life at last, she wept.

Why tears? Youre starting anew at forty! Thats when life really begins! I teased, baffled by her sobs.

Emily paused. Listen, Sophie! My ex, Alex, is clueless. I want you to meet himyou might be able to cheer him up. Go on, take him off my hands! Hes yours!

So, I did. Alex became my husband. He had just one flaw but, oh, it overshadowed his virtues. As the saying goes, a fine fox fur, but crushed out of shape. My new husband drank dreadfully. Yet love is blind sometimes even the devil takes on an angel’s glow. I could imagine no life without this alcoholic!

Cue the usual: detox clinics, rehab, my endless tears. All for nothing. I stuck by him, only for him to say, Sophie, you want me sober, but I cant see the point myself!

Leaving him never even crossed my mind. I convinced myself it was better a drunken husband than noneloneliness froze my heart. Odd how I fought for Alex, just as Emma had fought for Tom. Seven years passed in that struggle

Finally, Alex changed. He found steady work as a mortuary driver. What he saw each day left its mark. But for me, happiness returned: at last, I had a dependable husband! He came home thoughtful and quietand sober!

Emily, visiting from Greece, would marvel, Alex isnt drinking? I cant believe it!

Laughing, I always said, No returns, no exchanges!

My sons grew up. Both around thirty now, both single. After witnessing adult drama all their lives, neither rushed to marry. Although there were tries at relationships, I doubt Ill see grandchildren any time soon.

And Tom? His second wife Emma drank herself into ruin. Their daughter now raises a child alone. Tom married a third time, to the receptionist at his surgery. Beforehand, he asked our boys, Do you think mum would ever want to start again?

I replied, matter-of-fact, Not even if pigs fly! And thats that.

Life may wax and wane like the moon, but each phase brings its own lesson. In the ebb and flow of fortune and sorrow, I learnt to find strength not in others, but within myself. Happiness, it turns out, shines brightest after the darkest nights.